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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 04 2007 : 10:18:23 AM
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quote:
Now I expect the shine to be here in the darkness too. And it is!
I omitted something in this....discription. Which is really funny - because what was omitted is .....nothing. I read through the post just now - and I saw the omition. In a glimpse I saw the connection.
I don't really expect the shine. I expect nothing. It is this quietude of the mind.... in this space - the shine is visible. The tunnel episodes shed clarity on how the mind seduces itself into power. Driven by the fear of not being in control. Had it not been for the tunnel experiences I would not have understood. It had to be this grave for me to see. It is the expectation itself that is the limit. To be still and expect nothing, simply - by default - reveals reality.
It is always like this.
I have seen this so many times now that it is pretty incredible that it took all this to trust that it is always here. This is what the tunnel experience gave me.
This frees everything. Fear, anger, revolt....it can all be there. Pleasure, coziness, safety too. These emotions are no more who I am than the thoughts of the mind.
All this coincides with a very......profund happening with my husband up at the cabin. I cannot reveal the details of it (because it involves him) - but it is enough to say that I experienced a death up there. A big "clog" in my heart.....popped. Thanks to him and his courageous openness. The death....the aftermath was about 48 hours of deep, deep.....sadness. Tears streaming down my face for a day and a half....All the time i prayed for continuous openness. I prayed that no matter how painful.....that I would stay open. And it happened! I am emptied of it now.
That is why the heart is so light
This is why the love is so.....deep.
It is quiet....completely wordless.....and all over the place. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Jul 05 2007 : 07:11:48 AM
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Hi Katrine,
quote:
All this coincides with a very......profund happening with my husband up at the cabin. I cannot reveal the details of it (because it involves him) - but it is enough to say that I experienced a death up there. A big "clog" in my heart.....popped. Thanks to him and his courageous openness. The death....the aftermath was about 48 hours of deep, deep.....sadness. Tears streaming down my face for a day and a half....All the time i prayed for continuous openness. I prayed that no matter how painful.....that I would stay open. And it happened! I am emptied of it now.
Sounds heavy, whatever happened. I hope everything works itself out for you and your husband. It sounds like you were able to deal with it so that's good.
quote:
That is why the heart is so light
This is why the love is so.....deep.
It is quiet....completely wordless.....and all over the place
And thanks for that beautiful description of divine love. I can relate to these words more and more these days. As I mentioned in another thread, it is becoming the most important (or only important) thing in my life, and the only real thing I have to give.
Christi |
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Resistance, fear and control issues
