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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
 Posted - May 14 2007 : 1:26:18 PM
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Hey guys.
Today has been a little over one month since I began AYP practices. I do 5 minutes of SB, 20 minutes of deep meditation, and in the morning if I have time I do about 10-20 minutes of asanas.
The problem is I can feel it is becoming routine, but in a bad way. Everytime I begin the practice I do not feel excited or anything anymore...I just feel I must do it. In a way that is good because it assures it has been succesfully programmed into my mind. However, I do not feel the "umpf" anyone, I do not feel too much of a conviction, I think mainly due to the fact that I do not feel any sensations or real effects. The mantra is easier to maintain, but I often get bored with it. Spinal Breathing is easier, however nothing ever happens. Asanas are fun and grounding, but once again, nothing really happens although they are useful preceding meditation.
I guess I'm hitting the state most people hit where they seriously wonder if there is something wrong with them and if the practices are not meant for them, just everyone else. I feel very disheartened at the whole thing and am beginning to really misss my experiences with matrijuana or other entheogens. This is because, regardless of what non-users on the forumn assume, there is a lot to gained spiritually through use of these substances and I know the effects are short-lasting and sometimes dangerous even, but at least with marijuana I would really gain some interesting and useful insight into myself or the world. I would really feel that connectedness and unity with everything. Ever since I've cut that off in favor of more organic and permanent effects...which do not seem to be able to ,manifest, I wonder on the nature of drugs if they are meant for those who are not inclined towards meditative practices or who need such substances while others, whether it is because of thier cushy lifestyles or natural lack of neurosis do not need them at all and rather enjoy a perma-high.
My main point is not about drugs, but mainly that I seek those spirutual highs without the use of drugs...which are very risky in my experiences. I try vary hard to have faith that these things are real and attainable...however, it is not possible to just believe something. You can say it and think it, but you cant change how you feel. I feel as though if I simply had something hapen that would affirm its validity I would follow it 100%. It's like with astral projection or lucid dreaming. You often never believe for a second you can do it until it happens the first time, than its real. Thats what I feel needs to happen with AYP or I feel I will stray from it, and I dont want that to happen. I talk to people who have had incredible success in thier first couple of weeks while I have none and it makes me feel unsuited for this whole thing.
I don;t like sounding whiny like my post probably does. I just want to know if there are others who have had similar feelings at some point and if it is just a roadblock to go through. Also, I'd like to know if faith has anything to do with it, or if the reality will show itself through prooof, as long as you do the practices.
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Edited by - anthony574 on May 14 2007 1:32:46 PM |
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IcedEarth
73 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2007 : 1:50:34 PM
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| I think you may be doing too much practice for just starting with AYP practices. It can be frustrating that things occur slowly, but that´s really how the practices should be picked up. Also, it´s best not to begin new practices just because something is not happening yet. I can speak from my own experiences, I wrecked my nervous system and pretty much every aspect of my life from overdoing. |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2007 : 3:20:19 PM
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Anthony,
I don't think you are doing too much practice. It actually seems well balanced to me. It is possible though that you may be trying to substitute meditation for the experiences that you had with entheogens. While it is understandable, I would say that this is likely to be frustrating. Having a full entheogen experience is a bit like opening all the circuits and flooding your system with energy without safety valves. I see it somewhat as a test run for what might happen later after decades of deep yogic practices. The risk as I am sure that you are aware is that if you are unprepared for such a powerful experience or are not in the right situation or any other number of variables that it is possible that harm or confusion could come from such an experiene much as driving a car before you are old enough or trained would likely cause an accident. As for marijuana, although it certainly can open sensitivities and insights, my experience with people who smoke regularly has shown me that while it does open people up it also tends to create an obsession on marijuana itself and is limiting in what it can do eventually, leading to that person becoming a bit boring and annoying to those who don't indulge as well as being an expensive habit that in my opinion is best for those who can't find medical relief elsewhere for their condition. Does an occasional smoke of pot or a seasonal entheogen experience do any harm? In my opinion for most cases it probably can be beneficial but that is my point. AYP is a daily regular discipline and is like a rudder for your nervous system helping you go deeper slowly and safely and helping to keep your balance.
Experiences with entheogens would fall more appropriately (in my opeinion) under the category of the seasonal or vacation or peak experience/ vision quest type. Certainly not best for daily use. Save them for special occasions and you will be much better off. While I would respect what Iced Earth has to say on this it is also important to know that everyones experience is going to be unique and that what I see in your post is not a case of feeling overamped but of maybe a little boredom creeping in which is all pat of the scenery. It comes and goes along with many other sensations and feelings. If you want more intensity in practice I would suggest doing the chin pump pranayama and increasing your pranayama time as that opens up energy flows that might break up the feeling of routine. Also perhaps exploring Kechari Mudra which for me as well as some others here was what drew us to AYP in the first place, as meditation is taught in thousands of ways and styles but it is very rare to see Kechari Mudra taught in a public forum. Also understanding the management of sexual energy is incredibly powerful fuel for your practice, so please read all the lessons and digest them well.
Anyway, please keep practicing and keep us posted on how it goes! |
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weaver
832 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2007 : 3:37:42 PM
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Hi Anthony,
IcedEarth has a very good point here. It's a common mistake in the beginning of Yoga practices to think that not much is happening because not much seems to be happening. The purification does take place in the nervous system anyway whether we experience it consciously or not. And we may add practices because we may not see much results. This can be a mistake, because when we start seeing results we may get too much because of what we have added up before.
So, Anthony, if you want to give it a shot to reach enlightenment in this life (and you have a very good shot because you are still young!), it would be wise to see this as a long-term project, and start thinking in terms of years instead of months. Since meditation is the most basic practice, maybe it would be good to only do meditation, and maybe not for 20 minutes. Would you feel like committing to 10 minutes of meditation twice a day? If you do this consistently and feel good about it, I'm sure that you will see results over the long term. It would be a much better approach than doing more than you feel like doing, then maybe quitting for a while, then maybe doing some for a while again. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2007 : 4:29:22 PM
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Hi Anthony,
I think you are doing really well. Almost all of us have gone through this phase.. not just once.. but many times over... when you wonder, nothing is happening.. so why even bother.. there must be a faster/easier way to do this.
Unfortunately.. Nope.. nothing can give you better results and faster results and lasting results than a regular twice a day routine. The thing that helps the most is to do your practice (like Jim says).. "like brushing your teeth". Spend the 20-30 min you are doing right now with your practice and then forget about it. Don't do your practice with any expectations...
... and then one day.. you will notice small things changing in your life.. the way you think, the way you interact with people, the way you look at your life.. the way you feel about yourself.. This is all a part of your practice.. and like Yogani says.. don't measure your progress by how you feel during your practice.. see how you feel during the times in-between your practice.
Hang in there Anthony.. this is just a phase.. one that may even lead to an opening soon.. so don't get discouraged.. Just stick to your twice a day practice like brushing your teeth..
Wish you all the best. |
Edited by - Shanti on May 14 2007 4:30:22 PM |
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yogibear
409 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2007 : 9:00:12 PM
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Hi Anthony. It is not about excitement. It is about the preservation and cultivation of sexual energy, developing inner silence and filling it with ecstatic conductivity. It is a skillset you are developing. It is an ability. This takes dedicated practice over time.
And there will be dry periods where it doesn't seem like much is happening. Just like physical training. You can’t expect big muscles after one month in the gym but if you do it for 5 years (during which time there will periods where you think you are not making any progress) and you do it right, you know you will develop tremendous strength.
But this is spiritual athletics. Just think of what 5 years of dedicated meditation practice will do for you, let alone a lifetime.
Most things in life that are worthwhile take time and effort. You may feel like you are treading water right now but I’m betting you'll find that in the long run, the effort you put into developing and mastering the system you find on this website will give you the biggest bang for your buck.
It is simple, direct and efficient.
Just keep working to master the techniques and in time you will reap the fruits of your labor.
The idea is to steadily and persistently increase the inner silence and ecstatic conductivity in your nervous system thru relentless practice and enjoy whatever experiences your practice gives you as you purify and open up your nervous system.
It sound like you are favoring experiences over practices right now. This is what makes a person get bored and quit. Let me suggest you take a long range view of the situation. Have faith. If you will favor practice over experiences, in time they will come.
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Edited by - yogibear on May 16 2007 01:02:38 AM |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - May 14 2007 : 11:45:35 PM
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The reason I mention drugs is simply that I do beleve they give you somewhat of a sneak peak into what the human spirit can accomplish through practice, particularly LSD. There have been yogis and gurus who have taken LSD and either nothing has happened which is physically almost inpossible, or they will say "It is good, but not as good as meditation". Obviously there is inherently a problem with wanting a drug experience through meditation and that is not what I seek. I do however expect a noticible change in my percpetions of the world and feel this pranic energy of ecstatic bliss everyone talks about. I think it is very difficult for Westerners to accept a system not result-based, and I believe Yogani actually advertises his program as being "results-oriented". I honestly believe through my limited entheogenic experiences I have caught a slight glimpse of what it must be like to be enlightened, but not even as good as the real thing and naturally it is something to aspire for.
I was pondering this problem today and I realized that the problem may in fact be my drug experiences. I think that if one has never done entheogenic drugs they don't already have preconceptions and expectations, they are still naive in some sense which perhaps is an advantage. Having done entheogens you already have dramatic preconceptions about enlightenment and always expect to have a drugless LSD trip while meditating or feel that amazing egoless unity with everything in a short period of time. Sometimes I honestly wish I could go back and never have done those drugs, but then again if I had not I know for a fact I wouldn't be on this forum talking about Yoga either. I feel entheogens have put me on this path but are kind of hindering me now that I am here. |
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Lili
Netherlands
372 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2007 : 06:08:23 AM
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Hi Anthony,
It may be due to your age, but it seems that your interest in experiencing highs is taking up a big chunk of your attention. How about the other important things in life like career, girls, relationships etc.  You have so many years in front of you and pondering over the high from yoga vs the high from LSD can be a full time job at the age of 70 too--but things like dating and building up a meaningful career might not.
Also it might be a bit early to recap your progress after only a month of practice--I am not doing that now after 2.5 years. I think that 5 or more years is a far more meaningful term. But again AYP has been hugely helpful to me energetically from the very beginning so the issue of am I wasting this 1 hour/day does not apply. Just think what can you lose--at the very worst you give your system a relaxation at the very best you get enlightened after some time and enjoy a permamnent high better than LSD  . Sounds like you can only win right |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2007 : 11:56:30 AM
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"Pondering over the high from yoga vs. the high from LSD can be a full time job".
Yes, that is very very true. |
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Balance
USA
967 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2007 : 12:19:03 PM
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Dude, this is the acid trip! We're so caught up in the trip that we forget that we're always high! All of the temporary "highs" are fleeting. We're always here, now, trippin' at the wonder of it all, whether we've dropped a hit or not. There actually is no difference from the acid trip with what is happening right now. How can one event be more mind-blowing than another in this phenomenal creative occurance of a living, breathing universe? Focusing on a certain energy-flow through one chakra or another can be mesmerizing and fun, but we're always here watching whatever's happening happen. That's the trip!
P.S. Keep meditating and inquiring into your true nature without the chemical trips and you'll find tremendous payoff. Take it from an old druggie, the chemicals will likely only side-track you from the whole truth of Being that you wish to know yourself as |
Edited by - Balance on May 15 2007 12:26:27 PM |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2007 : 4:25:11 PM
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Balance, that is how I try to view life...but it is the stupid things that side-track me from viewing life as a trip...lawnmowers buzzing all day, red-lights, menial jobs...its hard sometimes to stay centered. I have moments occasionally where I feel like I'm on a light acid trip just when I sit back and marvel at how psychadelic life it in itself.
Thanks for the advice! |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - May 15 2007 : 10:30:45 PM
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You know, interesting story.
I just got home from my job, I'm a busboy in a busy restaurant. I tried repeating the mantra "This is the real trip" and strangely I was filled with energy and somehow I feel pleasantly lightheaded. Strange how you can recall the pleasant effects of a past trip at will if you try. I of course wasn't obviously affected, but I tried to look at life itself as a "trip". Good advice! |
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Need a bit of assurance
