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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 04 2007 : 12:59:18 PM
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alright!!
how awesome this is... anyway i pla on becoming a very active member here.. take a break from the myspace forums. they don't take it seriosuly anyway...
my name is eddie.. last name kidney... yes like the organ...20 years old.. and i need some charitable advice... i'm not in too bad of a position right now, actually quite fun in a way but still i could use a good pep talk...so bear with me this just might get a little long..
i guess to sum myself up right now i would say that i feel like an anxious little kid.. yeah i'm really kinda wierd right now.. and peopel are begining to notice, and my mind is on it a little but it's slowly just dissolving i feel.. i make a lot of gesticulations kind of like nis, and it's noticable... most of my anxiety is social but it's getting better... i'm kind of just struggling to let go, but it's easier said than done.. so i'm experienceing major bodily flairs, seriosuly i could write forever on what i've experienced bodily let alone mentally..
anyway... so i guess you can say that my style as to meditation has been to kind of just no manipulations. if your familiar with adyashanti's true meditation you'll know what i'm talking about.. i think i kind of dug myself in a couple of whole along the way, like basic social anxiety and i worry abotu my facial expressions a lot... also my practice has been going nuts on the who am i? thing, which i could say was honestly done irresponsibly. to sum it up i could only really say that it's all true. I'm not enlightened (although sometime i think it's just around the corner) but i think i've ha enough experience to know that it's really true, all of it..
anyway, so all the signs are pointing to coming out of my little shell and getting my life back together and such..i could use some advice here.. i'm using the four agreements to dig myself out of the little wholes that i've put myself in. it seems to be working so far..uhhhh yeah so i just feel a little estranged from peopel sometimes.. sometimes i'll describe as feeling jsut a lttle too free, in the way that i get confused and don't really know how to repsond to people. of course i'm still not free from that feeling... when semi-comfortable i'm just a tad too eccentric.. when very comfortable i'm extremly laid back and loving to everyone around me.. when this idea of comfortableness is not there anymore... welll , we'll see...
also about two weeks ago i got back from a ramana ashram in queens that i spent a week at. when back i kidn of had what i'll call a catharsis week. exploded into a journal where i wrote 105 pages (if anyone wants to read it i have half of it in the computer).. my behavior was jsut a tad bit bizarre.. oh and i got kicked out of a zen group for really no reason at all. or at least a reason that would make sense to a "rational" person.. soooo my mom got a little concerned when i ran to her house in 4 in the morning to use her cell phone to call the radio, so she sent me to a psychologist who i'm pretty comfortable going to.. i like the guy he let's me babble.. the thing is he doens't think that my so-called "problems" (i'm enjoying myself very much for the most part, even the mild depression that i'll get on some mornings i appreciate now) are not "spiritually" related, when i'm 200% positive that they are. also he thinks because i describe spiritual experiences of immense love that i must be bi-polar, so he wants me to take medication for it abilify...
so that's the last thing.. should i take it? shoud i take something else? i know that i don't relly have mood fluctuations (my dad who i'm around more than anyone told me yesterday that it's stupid because my mood is pretty much always the same), and that i'm basically just different in a way from the norm... so i don't think i'm gonna take that... been thinking about a very light anti anxiety pill but not sure about that either (it would take out all the fun!!) so i figured i'd run it by you guys..
thanks a bundle!!
oh and really i plan on writing a lot more on my eperiences and thought, as well as presenting them in posts of others... sooo get used to me, lol |
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2007 : 1:19:52 PM
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| do you think that someone could lonk me up to the better threads as well.. i mean like the most useful |
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2007 : 8:45:35 PM
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| nobody likes me everybody hates me i'm just gonna eat worms |
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weaver
832 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2007 : 10:21:41 PM
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Hi Eddy,
Welcome to the AYP forum and thank you for sharing so much about your life! You mention some things about yourself that you are not sure what other people may think about them. Remember that it is more important how you feel yourself than what other people think. What you write indicates that you have a desire for going further spiritually than where you are at the present. If you are not specifically committed to another practice of a similar kind, then maybe you would like to try deep meditation as it is taught on this site: http://www.aypsite.org/13.html. It's a good idea to study these lessons before asking too many questions in the forum. Deep meditation can give much inner calm and stability of mind.
And, about people liking you here or not, how could you tell when nobody here knows you yet? If you write some posts that get you into discussions with others, then I'm sure that this will change.
Best wishes!  |
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 12:39:45 AM
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| what do you think i shoudl do with the medication? |
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weaver
832 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 01:12:57 AM
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Eddy,
I'm not in any position to give professional advice about medication that has been prescribed. However, if I were you, and I didn't think the medication was right for me, or I didn't think it would do me any good, then I would certainly try not taking it, at least temporarily, to see if I might feel better without it.
It does happen quite often, that doctors give medication for symptoms that they don't understand, for example kundalini symptoms, even when such medications in reality are completely unnecessary or can even cause adverse effects, and when other remedies, such as grounding, would be needed instead. |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 11:32:17 AM
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Eddy,
If you are bipolar but it doesn't bother you too bad, there's no point in taking the medication. It'd be best to find another way to get emotionally balanced if that's the case. But if it does bother you then it might be good to take the medication. Weaver's absolutely right.
Also, I don't understand what you were saying when you wrote this...
quote:
also about two weeks ago i got back from a ramana ashram in queens that i spent a week at. when back i kidn of had what i'll call a catharsis week. exploded into a journal where i wrote 105 pages (if anyone wants to read it i have half of it in the computer).. my behavior was jsut a tad bit bizarre.. oh and i got kicked out of a zen group for really no reason at all. or at least a reason that would make sense to a "rational" person.. soooo my mom got a little concerned when i ran to her house in 4 in the morning to use her cell phone to call the radio
Why did you need to call the radio at 4 am? What was the reason the zen group kicked you out? Why did you spend a week at the Ramana Ashram in Queens? What did you write afterwards? |
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 3:50:06 PM
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| i want to get into it but i'm a ad bit busy and it will take literally forver.. toniht i'll get back to it... prpar yourself for a long a decent read |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 5:40:00 PM
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Eddy, it does happen that doctor's prescribe mental health medication that is not helpful, but it also happens, maybe even more often, that patients refuse to take mental health medication that actually is good for them. At the forum here, we are in no position to advise you either way. That would be true even if we were all mental health professionals here, because we are only hearing one side of a story.
So the only thing I would advise you on the mental medication issue Eddy, is to take no advice on it whatsoever from the forum.
There is nothing wrong though with getting a second opinion medically, if that option is available to you.
And for the rest of you I'd suggest not giving any advice in a case like this on taking mental health medication or not. That includes advice to stop taking it if you don't think it is helping you. Ironically, advice like that is sound if the patient is not mentally ill; but unsound in certain cases if the patient is mentally ill.
Well-meaning advisors forget, or don't understand, that certain mental illnesses impair judgment. They project their own clarity on the person they are giving the advice to, someone who may not have that level of clarity at all. Advice that is good when judgment is good can be bad advice when judgment is bad.
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Edited by - david_obsidian on Apr 05 2007 6:00:15 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 6:25:02 PM
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Well, this is basically what David said, but I would do whatever your psychiatrist prescribes first.
If you think your medication is bad, tell him about it. Sometimes they will let you cut back on the dosage.
But if you have spiritual problems you might have to "self pace" and not do any meditation at all for a while, or anything spiritual. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Apr 05 2007 6:32:41 PM |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 6:30:55 PM
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| Agreed 100%. |
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 10:25:50 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by david_obsidian
Eddy, it does happen that doctor's prescribe mental health medication that is not helpful, but it also happens, maybe even more often, that patients refuse to take mental health medication that actually is good for them. At the forum here, we are in no position to advise you either way. That would be true even if we were all mental health professionals here, because we are only hearing one side of a story.
So the only thing I would advise you on the mental medication issue Eddy, is to take no advice on it whatsoever from the forum.
There is nothing wrong though with getting a second opinion medically, if that option is available to you.
And for the rest of you I'd suggest not giving any advice in a case like this on taking mental health medication or not. That includes advice to stop taking it if you don't think it is helping you. Ironically, advice like that is sound if the patient is not mentally ill; but unsound in certain cases if the patient is mentally ill.
Well-meaning advisors forget, or don't understand, that certain mental illnesses impair judgment. They project their own clarity on the person they are giving the advice to, someone who may not have that level of clarity at all. Advice that is good when judgment is good can be bad advice when judgment is bad.
but you are me |
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 10:26:42 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Well, this is basically what David said, but I would do whatever your psychiatrist prescribes first.
If you think your medication is bad, tell him about it. Sometimes they will let you cut back on the dosage.
But if you have spiritual problems you might have to "self pace" and not do any meditation at all for a while, or anything spiritual.
honestly i think right nwo that i would be mad if i started taking a medication.. i've pretty much made up my mind that i'm definitley not doing it |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2007 : 10:57:00 AM
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Eddy said:
but you are me
This may be true Eddy, but your mind is not my mind. I wouldn't necessarily be helping you if I treated your mind as if it were mine.
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2007 : 1:18:02 PM
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| would nisargadatta agree?? |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2007 : 2:42:23 PM
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Once we are speaking in a common language, yes.
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2007 : 3:47:35 PM
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| hmmmm i don't know man.. not to be disagreeable for the sake of it don't get me wrong |
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2007 : 3:48:24 PM
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| let me know if you want to take it further... i realize i have to watch myself a bit.. come off a little too strong if you get me |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2007 : 01:53:00 AM
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Hi Eddy,
Self enquiry is a usefull yogic practice, but it is an advanced practice. This means that it is useful once we have developed a large degree of natural silence in the mind first. If you find that your mind is mostly silent, for most of the day, then you may be ready to begin self enquiry as a practice. If however you find that your thought streams are rambling on pretty much continuously from the moment you get up until you fall asleep at night, then you are not yet ready for it.
Self enquiry includes everything that Nisargadatta tought, as well as everything that Ramana Maharshi tought. It also includes the anatta(non self) teachings from Buddhism (especially Zen Buddhism) and all the Advaita Vedanta teachings. If you attempt to use it as a practice before you are ready it could just seriously confuse you and set you back in terms of your spiritual development, and your mental stability.
In your case, I would strongly advise you to drop all self enquiry, and concentrate on establishing some peace, and quiet in your mind and heart. Simple breathing exercises and simple meditation can help a lot.
There is a chance that all that has happened to you has left you feeling ungrounded (too much in your head), in which case some grounding practices could seriously help. Get out in nature, walk, run, dance, swim, breathe, love.
Don't forget to get out and sociallize. Remember that listening is always more important than talking. We don't learn much by talking, but we can learn a great deal by listening.
Much love
Christi
p.s. Welcome to the forum
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Eddy
USA
92 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2007 : 05:04:49 AM
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oh but i'm one step ahead of yo, lol....
j/k
but seriously thank you for the motivation and reminder.... i'm honestly doing the bst i can.. i don;t relally do the who am i? thing ever except maybe lik on the subway,lol... i'm doing a vvery very good job reestablisihg the perfect social life right now.... no worries at all.. accepting everyhing and then diving in.. but who knows?...i do recomend the 4 agreements i think that book is incredible.. you vr just feel liek an orb of energy?.... i have.. it's pretty cool |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 8:16:24 PM
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My advice would be don't take the meds. The whole perception of "schizophrenia" and "bipolar" and whatever else is usually based on the disparity of Western thinking and spirutuality, as obviously present in your doctor's diagnosis based on your transpersonal experiences. Speaking of transpersonal, if you do want to go to a doctor, go to a Transpersonal Psychologist.
Basically, all meds are going to do is dope you up. You obviously are fueled by a remarkable amount of energy and all you need to do is discipline it and learn to integrate these experiences and insights into your life. I had experiences similar to your own after I had taken heavy hallucinogenics...it's all about taking the "wierd" stuff and learning to integrate it. You figure, no matter what you're still going to be Eddie the Ego, so why not make the best of it, especially as an interesting ego with spirutual insight and experience.
By the way, I am almost 20 as well and I feel a lot of what you're saying. The world outside can make you feel like a real mental-case sometimes. I imagine it gets a lot easier with age. |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 8:59:40 PM
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Anthony, I don't think it's good to give psycho-pharmacological advice over the internet to someone you don't know. With some mild drugs that you know something about, for a condition you understand, maybe (like say prozac in a case of ordinary mild depression). But no, without knowing the details in these circumstances, advising someone to come off significant prescribed medication is not a good idea.
I don't mean this as a reprimand. This is a commong mistake and it usually happens because people don't know any better. It only becomes truly irresponsible if still done after awareness is brought to it.
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Edited by - david_obsidian on Apr 22 2007 10:06:15 PM |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 10:06:04 PM
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you should repsect the views of people who do not subscribe to Western Psychology. If I were to advise him to take his meds would that not, by an unbiased standard, also be irresponsible? Maybe you do not see the harsh consequences of TAKING the meds, which I believe to be much more dentrimental than NOT taking them. If he is the way he is, then I believe that is how is he meant to be. If someone is prescribed a legal drug that in effect simply dopes one up so that outward symptoms subside, I would consider that a decision with much gravity. All I did was offer my advice. I experienced a whole childhood and teenage span with what could easily be considered nueroses probably worse than he is describing, but in the end it all worked out because I never allowed the doctrine of Western Psychology to tell me there is something wrong with me. I do not personally believe you can diagnose something as complex as a human psyche and a lifetime of experience and then stick them on a particular dope.
You are correct though, it is his decision and I am sure he will not consider the advice of an online forum to his own intuition. |
Edited by - anthony574 on Apr 22 2007 10:07:34 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 10:09:38 PM
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| Yes i have met schizophrenic and bipolar people who will sit down and have a very intelligent conversation. Then at other times they have problems that are so severe that you can understand why they have meds. Believe me, I am completely against drugs as much as possible, but there is a time for them, and it must be determined by a professional. |
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anthony574
USA
549 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 10:14:29 PM
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But he is neither, as I guess from his descriptions. He seems to me to just be a younger guy with social anxiety and very slight spiritual mania. Certainly people who have experience sponatenous Kundalini would attest that their symptoms were much more reminiscent of what Western Psychology would call Schizophrenia or Bipolar disorder, and very few instances I know of lead to medication and in the end it usually works out. Such is the human journey.
I don't want this to turn into a big anti-psychology argument because obviously my views are controversial here. I understand the stigma of not taking prescribed medications and I will only trust he will make the best decision his intuition can offer. |
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david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2007 : 10:15:16 PM
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Anthony, the fact that something doesn't come from Western Psychology is not in itself a reason to disrespect something, but not in itself a reason to respect it either. Sometimes it's fine to disrespect ideas that come from elsewhere.
You may have been right not to take the medication. I haven't a clue. But don't extrapolate your own case to entirely different people that you don't know.
One thing I am certain of -- certain psychiatric medications are life-savers. Particularly medications for schizophrenia. So helpful have medications been found in certain cases that it is considered unethical on humanitarian grounds not to treat patients because of the amount of suffering the condition can cause, and how effective the medications can be in treating them.
All I did was offer my advice.
Likewise I'm just offering my advice on what is dangerous advice to offer. No offense meant. Enjoy AYP.
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Edited by - david_obsidian on Apr 22 2007 10:17:40 PM |
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hey ya'll
