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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 03 2007 : 10:45:55 PM
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At times I have to pull myself back from "somewhere" and remember the Mantra. This morning it wanted to morph into "Amen" and then "Amusing" and I felt a bit confused as to where I was and what I was doing. It was hard to come back from the stillness. I just wanted to abide there but quit on time Also most of the time to say a Mantra feels pushy like I'm making the mind do some lower form of practice. I have experienced going beyond words and ideas in meditation before and I'm not sure if I'm not going backwards to take up what sometimes seems artificial. Can anyone tell me if I am doing something wrong? I have been practicing AYP for about two months now and definitely feel the energy surging and the inner silence calling at times. I like it but it just feels strange to use a Mantra having never done so before this. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4429 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2007 : 12:56:59 AM
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Hi Jill,
quote:
At times I have to pull myself back from "somewhere" and remember the Mantra. This morning it wanted to morph into "Amen" and then "Amusing" and I felt a bit confused as to where I was and what I was doing. It was hard to come back from the stillness.
It sounds like you are falling into the silence and then, coming back to the mantra even though you feel it would be more natural to stay in the silence. You may want to read this thread here, especially Yoganis' second post:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....C_ID=678#678
You may also want to check out Yoganis' reply here, and the preceding discussion:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....page=2#13876
If this is not relevant to your question then please let us know.
quote:
I just wanted to abide there but quit on time
Others may be able to say more about this. I often remain in the silence, and do not end my meditation just because the twenty minutes is up. Of course it is connected to self pacing, and to making sure that we do not overdo things. It is also connected to making sure that our practice does not become so time consuming that we start skipping the twice daily schedule. If we start adding an hour in blissful absorbtion onto pranayama, asanas, samyama, and sivasana (lying down) then we are building a pretty hefty schedule to try and keep up twice a day. And if we drop some of the other things to spend more time absorbed in bliss then we could be loosing out in terms of our fastest possible progress towards enlightenment. Also if we drop the twice daily part and cut it down to once a day to spend more time in bliss, then we could be loosing out in the long term. A little twice a day is a lot better than a lot once a day, it's just how our system works.
But I'm not going to pretend that I don't do extend my practice sometimes to spend more time in the absorbtion states because I do And I do suffer some energy overload problems as a result, but I live with them
Hope this helps,
Christi |
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jillatay
USA
206 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2007 : 2:41:23 PM
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Thank you Christi. This is exactly what I was asking and now I am delighted to follow my inner guru and stay in the samadhi when it arises without feeling like I'm doing something bad by AYP standards. I think I am starting to get the hang of this instruction.
Much gratitude,
Jill |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2007 : 7:33:15 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jillatay
Thank you Christi. This is exactly what I was asking and now I am delighted to follow my inner guru and stay in the samadhi when it arises without feeling like I'm doing something bad by AYP standards. I think I am starting to get the hang of this instruction.
Much gratitude,
Jill
Hi jillatay,
There is nothing bad by AYP standards by wanting to stay with silence, it simply becomes a question of self-pacing. It has been my experience that the effects and power of the practices become more and more powerful over time, so that there is eventually little room to even add an extra minute without paying the price of going over which is not always fun.
Before I came to AYP I did meditate although not regularly. I did guided visualization type meditations and I also did meditations where I just enjoyed being in the silence or maybe more accurately, being the silence. When I first started AYP mantra meditation a couple of years back, I remember having the same issues as you describe feeling like the mantra was "noisy" or wanting to just be in silence. This feeling of it being "noisy" eventually passed.
What I have come to realize over time is that my perspective changed. I no longer was focussed on what was happening during meditation, the energy or how it made me feel at the time etc., but more so on how I felt after meditation throughout my day. The feelings I used to get of being in silence while meditating now permeates my day in an ever-expanding way. Mantra meditation goes deep in clearing us out in a way that doesn't always feel blissfully good while practicing, but eventually leads to feeling blissfully good more and more outside of practices. I do the practices for the quality of the rest of my life, not worrying about how it makes me feel during my sitting sessions. I just follow the procedure and what ever happens happens, we really can't control it anyway!
We want to feel good and for sure we will more and more, slowly over time. Looking to grasp on to good feelings during meditation is like trying to take a ride on the perfect cloud, it just can't be done and takes us away from our training of the mind to just be with what Is. Enjoy the rest of your life, that's the important part!
A
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Difficulty doing Mantra
