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Chard
250 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 25 2007 : 9:26:32 PM
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I was on vacation for a few days and have been away from this site for a while and its so good to be back! More and more as time goes on, I realize how very important it is for me to stay closely connected with this AYP community. Most days recently have been fine and I've felt that I could be the only one on earth living as I do and doing these practices not even feeling like I need to share with anyone my innermost thoughts and never feel lonely and still feel so connected to others. But then there are those other days like I've felt these past couple of days when I just feel so lonely. My ego is far from dissolving! Some days it feels like my ego has taken over when I feel lonely or afraid and then there are those wonderful days when the higher self is shining and everything is great. Either way, I know these feelings will pass so I'm not worried, but I just wanted to poke my head back in the forum and share these thoughts and hear your feedback and hear if anyone else shares the same feelings. Thanks to all again for connecting with me- already I'm feeling a bit better!  |
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Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2007 : 10:55:07 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Chard
I was on vacation for a few days and have been away from this site for a while and its so good to be back! More and more as time goes on, I realize how very important it is for me to stay closely connected with this AYP community. Most days recently have been fine and I've felt that I could be the only one on earth living as I do and doing these practices not even feeling like I need to share with anyone my innermost thoughts and never feel lonely and still feel so connected to others. But then there are those other days like I've felt these past couple of days when I just feel so lonely. My ego is far from dissolving! Some days it feels like my ego has taken over when I feel lonely or afraid and then there are those wonderful days when the higher self is shining and everything is great. Either way, I know these feelings will pass so I'm not worried, but I just wanted to poke my head back in the forum and share these thoughts and hear your feedback and hear if anyone else shares the same feelings. Thanks to all again for connecting with me- already I'm feeling a bit better!
Hi Chard,
The forum is definitely a great place to share with like-minded people and I don't know where the energy would have gone for me had I not had the opportunity to express it here sometimes! We certainly all have our ups and downs along the way and as you go along and manage your practices well and self-pace effectively, you will find that your "lows" don't last as long nor are as intense, and your highs become balanced out and become longer lasting and steady.
I always find it useful to acknowledge and accept feelings like loneliness or sadness etc. I become aware of these feelings and allow them to be within, without resisting them. As I do this they lose their momentum, eventually dissipate and move along.
Big swings from highs to low can sometimes be an indicator of over-doing it in practices, you may want to ask yourself if this is the case? If you chase the highs and do more to "get" them, the lows will certainly follow.
Best of luck
A
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 04:11:02 AM
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Thank you for sharing those thoughts, both Chard and Anthem!
I have just begun to recognize this pattern that Anthem describes - that the lows don't last as long nor are as intense! This means it is way much easier to just "stay in the pain", to live through them and accept them. I gather more and more experiences of "getting over things easily", which then is more and more accessable in my memory, so when I find myself in a low, I quickly remember that there is no big deal, sort of: "Ah, this is familiar! Here comes those ego thoughts again trying to trick me into believing the world is horrible in some way." As soon as I remember that I am filled with compassion for myself and my very well-known thoughts, and I instead watch with interest. And when I begin to watch... I begin to find joy in it... and I feel better... and I laugh at myself... and *poof* the low's gone! This process is going faster and faster.
One thing that has made a huge difference for me, was when I came across Osho's description of feeling lonely. Feeling lonely is a state of separation and has negative associations. On the other hand, being by yourself is another thing. If I have knowledge of The One, I can never be alone, I can only be by myself, and being only with myself is being with The One. So mentally, when in an ego-state feeling lonely, I switch into thinking "I am not alone, I'm only by myself", and it gives relaxation and relief. It is not resisting loneliness - it's bypassing loneliness! =)
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2007 : 09:57:40 AM
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Anthem and EMC, thank you so much for your feedback. Even though we know the truth about these things, it is still comforting to hear.
I have noticed lately that my highs have been longer lasting and the lows more brief. I think what you shared about sitting with the feelings and letting them move through you is so important and such a great reminder. What a power and freedom we discover when we find we can just sit with any feeling that comes up, without resistance. I've come to realize that my loneliness has little to do with external circumstances and is about me feeling lonely for my higher self/God/Divine. Those feelings have pretty much passed now and I'm enjoying being back at work. Thank you for all your support. It really helped me alot to connect with you all these past couple days. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Feb 28 2007 : 03:21:56 AM
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 Great to hear, Chard!
I wonder, when Katrine wrote about the importance to "Stay home", wasn't she really talking about staying connected to the AYP forum and all of us? 
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Chard
250 Posts |
Posted - Feb 28 2007 : 10:07:02 AM
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| emc, your statement nearly brought me to tears.... Home....well said |
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