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Alvin Chan
Hong Kong
407 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 02 2007 : 11:16:51 AM
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Hi all,
I've stopped my regular practise for a while (approximate 20 days) and then struggled back to the strict 2 times a day practice. During those days, I was rather frustrated and tired. (though this is partly the CAUSE of my giving up of my practice, not necessarily the effect) Brahmacharya was nearly impossible to maintain during those days, even for 1 week.
But I'm surprised to discover how quick I am able to resume my normal practice, and how good it still is, once I give it my dedication. Brahmacharya is then spontaneous. And I soon find the nice ecstatic feeling increases gradually.
Everything seems to go smoothly. I no longer feel that loneliness I used to feel. I still wonder what my life is for. But the feeling of hopelessness disappeared. Is that a change from within me? Probably. But the environment changed for the better too. Only that the silent quality is not as strong as I've had right after a deep sorrow. (I wouldn't opt for the silence in this painful way, though)
Thanks for everyone that helped me in different ways, especially David, Katrine, Shweta, Yogani,........and many others whom I'm not sure whether I should say I know....it's strange to talk through this media where I can never see you guys personally, and yet touching upon topics that are so personal and deep inside each of us.
More questions and discussions to come, when I have the luxuary to type leisurely.
Alvin |
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weaver
832 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2007 : 11:30:22 AM
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Hi Alvin, it's good to hear that you are back into practices and that you found it easy to resume practices again! Best wishes for a good continuation...  |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Feb 02 2007 : 11:15:01 PM
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| Good to have you back Alvin! |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2007 : 03:37:40 AM
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quote:
Thanks for everyone that helped me in different ways, especially David, Katrine, Shweta, Yogani,........and many others whom I'm not sure whether I should say I know....it's strange to talk through this media where I can never see you guys personally, and yet touching upon topics that are so personal and deep inside each of us.
Hi Alvin, great to see you in forum again. I agree to what you write here and was touched by it. Feeling such gratitude for this forum possibility to share ups and downs.
Wish you all the best on your path! |
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Richard
United Kingdom
857 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2007 : 08:57:43 AM
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Great to have you back Alvin  I think we are all grateful for the forum and all the people on it...its good to share
Richard |
Edited by - Richard on Feb 03 2007 09:16:43 AM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2007 : 4:12:15 PM
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Welcome back Alvin.
Actually if you think about it.. you never really did leave now.. did you? Just self pacing.. even the 20 day break you took.. was necessary at that point.. you need that at times.. with everything.. not just your practice.
So dont beat yourself up over anything.. just ease back into your practice... don't forget to selfpace.
Glad to have you back.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2007 : 4:43:19 PM
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Welcome back from travelling, Disney resort, flying aircraft! Sounds like fun. I'd love to go to the Disney Resort in Hong Kong someday.
Does it have lots of rides like Disney World here?
"I no longer feel that loneliness I used to feel. I still wonder what my life is for. But the feeling of hopelessness disappeared."
I'm beginning to think that these feelings are from the "friction" caused by cleaning the nervous system. I've gotten angry, for days for no apparent reason, but when I just accepted it, and didn't resist, it just went away. I've heard of other people with the whole gamut of other emotions wondering what they mean. I don't think they mean anything at all, other than that's what you were clearing out. They can be treated just like any other scenery along the path; just look, and continue with your practice. We're just throwing out stuff we saved that we no longer need.
BTW- when you are travelling or forced to be with somebody for a while who doesn't meditate, what you can do is tell them you're going to take a long bath, and lock yourself in the bathroom for a half hour.
PS make sure your mantra is silent! ha ha
About wondering what your life is for: What were your dreams when you were a child? Usually those conscious yearnings of when you were little can be used to find what your life is for. Of course, you may have to remove the innocence factor. A child may want to "heal everyone in the world", which might translate to becoming a doctor. |
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