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 Kundalini Issues Not Related to the AYP System
 My Spontaneous Awakening
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spontaneous K

Canada
2 Posts

Posted - Sep 07 2023 :  11:42:39 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Hey all, just thought I would take the time to share a bit about my spontaneous Kundalini awakening. If this is not allowed, please delete.

Going on close to 5 years ago, I was in my late 20's and living a relatively normal life with a job, friends, family, all that. After having come out of a toxic relationship,I was at a relatively low point in my life until one day a friend of mine introduced me to semen retention. I was sceptical at first about trying it but eventually I decided to give it a go. Immediately I noticed a huge difference in myself with more confidence, focus and my brain fog had went away. So I decided to keep going with it. I also started noticing a funny sensation right in the middle of my eyebrow, but it wasn't alarming in anyway (I know now that it was the start of Kundalini emergence). I continued this semen retention practice for close to a year (was really difficult) and then all of a sudden one day, I felt a huge amount of energy at the base of my spine release and what happened after that was insane.

I had entered into psychosis, and the details of which I wont share. I will say that it was dangerous, and I ended up on some really strong meds for a while. I eventually stopped the meds because it was unbearable (depression, lack of emotion and motivation, lack of sexual desire) and since coming off the meds, the energy that blew up is still there.

It took a while for my system to come back to somewhat normal after the meds, and I started feeling that same sensation in the middle part of my eyebrow. Deep inside I knew something otherworldly had happened to me and it wasn't just a mental break or mental illness. I entered into deep meditation practice for about a year, and it has since turned into daily spontaneous yoga for multiple hours a day (not all at once).

This energy is really nothing to F around with. I am unable to work or do anything else other than dedicate my whole life to the Kundalini energy doing as it wants. It has been a little over a year since this spontaneous yoga has been taking place, and it gets so intense sometimes I feel like I'm being squeezed from the inside out and it gets painful, especially when K reaches my head. There has been a lot of energy working in the heart chakra area as well.

I'm not here looking for help or advice. I have learned that surrender is the only thing that works. This all happened totally out of my control. Maybe the extreme semen retention did it, maybe it was fate. All I know is that most of everything I have researched about Kundalini and guidelines on what to do and not to do are utterly useless. This energy does what it wants. Everywhere I have looked into this says that abstinence from anything sexual is required. However in my surrender I have learned that those practices aren't necessary (unless it is spontaneous). I don't practice semen retention anymore, not since surrendering to the energy. I have gone vegan since all this started emerging again as well.

If anyone reads this, please be careful with any sort of practice you are doing in hopes of awakening this energy. This has been a full time job and not out of my choosing. I will say that another thing that potentially sparked this was childhood trauma and dealing with that as I got into my adulthood. You could say there was a soup being boiled and it eventually boiled over and I had this spontaneous life altering experience.

I really don't know why I have decided to post this. Maybe someone here can relate. Maybe you can take something away from it.

Please take your spiritual practices seriously, and proceed with caution.

Dogboy

USA
2165 Posts

Posted - Sep 08 2023 :  05:33:37 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Welcome spontaneous K

It was unfortunate for you to engage in semen retention without knowing at the time you were playing with a loaded gun. The ideal situation would have been an established meditation practice first, so inner obstructions would have had a chance to open before the awakening of kundalini. I was lucky to find this site first, to learn about inner processes and meditation, and finding inner silence and Witness before my body became conducive. I feel a lot of the daily sensations you are describing, but in a much stabler and cooperative way.

I know you are not looking for advice, but there are things you can do to find relief. There are many ways to ground yourself in the physical world on a daily basis. Here is an AYP lesson on the subject: https://www.aypsite.org/69.html.

I have read elsewhere that those with raging kundalini not just surrender to it but also find ways to converse with it, to ask it to be gentle at any given moment, to allow a reprieve here and there. This energy is not a foreign invader, this energy is life force, our life force. It was awakened before your body was ready, opening you whether you are ready or not. I would refrain from any spiritual practices until you are able to find some stability. Push back against to idea you have no control. Ask this energy for guidance and ways you can find relief. Good luck!
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sunyata

USA
1500 Posts

Posted - Sep 08 2023 :  4:52:50 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi spontaneous K,

Welcome to the forums! Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I went through spontaneous awakening almost 13 years ago and that's how I found AYP. Great pointers from Dogboy already.

I know you are not here looking for advice. I just felt the pull to share this: Once we are grounded in Stillness, Kundalini energy adds Beauty and Bliss to Life. We learn to dance with Her instead of fearing her. Of course, not overnight but through dedicated spiritual practices daily.

As you have already mentioned, Surrender is what Kundalini energy (The Goddess) teaches us. Feel free to go over lesson 69 https://www.aypsite.org/69.html. Continue surrendering and grounding.

Hang in there! Things will get better.

Much Love,
Sunyata
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spontaneous K

Canada
2 Posts

Posted - Sep 08 2023 :  6:21:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata

Hi spontaneous K,

Welcome to the forums! Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I went through spontaneous awakening almost 13 years ago and that's how I found AYP. Great pointers from Dogboy already.

I know you are not here looking for advice. I just felt the pull to share this: Once we are grounded in Stillness, Kundalini energy adds Beauty and Bliss to Life. We learn to dance with Her instead of fearing her. Of course, not overnight but through dedicated spiritual practices daily.

As you have already mentioned, Surrender is what Kundalini energy (The Goddess) teaches us. Feel free to go over lesson 69 https://www.aypsite.org/69.html. Continue surrendering and grounding.

Hang in there! Things will get better.

Much Love,
Sunyata





Thanks for the reply, both of you. Yeah it's been a wild ride to say the least. As for not knowing about the potential dangers of semen retention, it's sorta too late to try and learn about that now. The symptoms vary from day to day. Some days it's more intense than others (the spontaneous yoga, pranayama and vocalisations). Some days I sleep a lot, other days I am having to get on the floor and let the energy move me in whatever way it wants. I don't necessarily agree that you can talk to it and tell it to calm down, one can suppress it temporarily but if you go too long, it will take over. I have been in the car with my mom (passenger of course, I am not driving) and I will start folding into yoga poses in the car. I have to be very careful about spending too much time away from home.

Of course there are positives that I have been noticing. For one, music is becoming easier to play (I play bass and guitar) and I seem to have an innate ability to sing, which K has brought forth. The journey is ongoing, and as I have stated, surrender works as the only coping tool for this energy.
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sunyata

USA
1500 Posts

Posted - Sep 08 2023 :  8:17:56 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
quote:
Originally posted by spontaneous K

quote:
Originally posted by sunyata

Hi spontaneous K,

Welcome to the forums! Sorry to hear about your difficulties. I went through spontaneous awakening almost 13 years ago and that's how I found AYP. Great pointers from Dogboy already.

I know you are not here looking for advice. I just felt the pull to share this: Once we are grounded in Stillness, Kundalini energy adds Beauty and Bliss to Life. We learn to dance with Her instead of fearing her. Of course, not overnight but through dedicated spiritual practices daily.

As you have already mentioned, Surrender is what Kundalini energy (The Goddess) teaches us. Feel free to go over lesson 69 https://www.aypsite.org/69.html. Continue surrendering and grounding.

Hang in there! Things will get better.

Much Love,
Sunyata





Thanks for the reply, both of you. Yeah it's been a wild ride to say the least. As for not knowing about the potential dangers of semen retention, it's sorta too late to try and learn about that now. The symptoms vary from day to day. Some days it's more intense than others (the spontaneous yoga, pranayama and vocalisations). Some days I sleep a lot, other days I am having to get on the floor and let the energy move me in whatever way it wants. I don't necessarily agree that you can talk to it and tell it to calm down, one can suppress it temporarily but if you go too long, it will take over. I have been in the car with my mom (passenger of course, I am not driving) and I will start folding into yoga poses in the car. I have to be very careful about spending too much time away from home.

Of course there are positives that I have been noticing. For one, music is becoming easier to play (I play bass and guitar) and I seem to have an innate ability to sing, which K has brought forth. The journey is ongoing, and as I have stated, surrender works as the only coping tool for this energy.



Those Kriyas(spontaneous yoga movements) and everything else are energy moving through your blockages. How about looking at that energy through the eyes of devotion? Surrendering and praying for relief. Like you would talk to your mother or someone you love when going through difficult times.

The music and singing part sounds magical!

Keep grounding. As the saying goes there are no accidents in the Universe.

Sunyata
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DreamWeaver

USA
34 Posts

Posted - Oct 04 2023 :  3:54:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi, spontaneous K.

Thank you for sharing! I needed to read this. I recently posted in the adjacent subforum asking what makes a K awakening difficult. https://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic...PIC_ID=19518

In my self-perceived "dead" state, I find myself longing for the "other" energy to take me over. The way you and others sometimes describe things on the other side makes it seem so harrowing, but it's impossible for me to imagine how difficult it must be. Yet, I believe you! I also suffer lingering effects from childhood trauma, and sometimes I wonder if I'm being spared a full awakening until some of the more gross blockages are cleaned up, at least enough so that the darker karmic impressions (and I have a hefty dose) don't translate into outright danger for others. I am glad your psychosis was able to be managed enough for you to avert danger. The closest analogue I can find in my own experiences that might be similar to how a K awakening is difficult is a psychedelic experience. Sure, bliss and oneness are possible during those experiences, but I am also prone to a sense of being overwhelmed by the intensity and wishing the whole thing would just stop, then feeling powerless that there really isn't an off switch. I try to tell myself that I'm potentially playing with fire with K, but deep down I still wish for it. Reports like yours are illuminating.

Anyways, I appreciate you sharing this. Wishing you the best on your journey.
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