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Niels Jacob
France
52 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 20 2023 : 5:18:36 PM
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Hello there,
Today after having a talk with my wife, I became aware that my actions were mostly done by a made up persona, which isn't the real me.
It's particurarly visible in a social context: Everytime I talk to someone, it's like i'm doing it through a talking puppet which utters fake-sounding words.
For the 1st time today I witnessed it. (when I was at the grocery store and talking to the cashier). But I (my real me) still feel unable to speak in place of that puppet.
Has anyone gone through this ? Would need some advice here! Love Niels,
(if it does not seem clear to you, you can freely ask for clarifications ! ) |
Edited by - Niels Jacob on Aug 20 2023 5:49:18 PM |
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interpaul
USA
556 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2023 : 7:29:14 PM
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| Niels, We all show up with different faces in different circumstances. The face you show your spouse, coworker, child, barista may vary. When someone asks you How are you? In the US people often say "fine" even if they are not, as it is less socially acceptable to tell people how you really are except amongst your closest friends who are genuinely interested. My experience of this Yogic process of awakening is of gaining new clarity on things we've taken for granted or done mostly unconsciously. Are you speaking with "fake-sounding words" or is it just you are now more aware of the persona that is not your deeper self(the witness)? My only advice here is to be kind to yourself. I find these self critical voices aren't helpful and can do harm. As with a gentle return to the mantra after realizing one's mind has drifted, I favor acknowledging new awareness I may experience of my persona and choose to either show up in a more authentic way or accept myself as good enough in the present circumstance. The beauty is we really exist moment to moment so we are always able to self correct and become more and more our genuine self. |
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Wil
Sweden
160 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2023 : 11:44:13 PM
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Hi Niels,
"The witness/inner silence is like a room which may be full of furniture. The furniture is the mind, or sometimes 'fake sounding words' or emotions. The room is still there no matter what which is the witness, the inner silence." ~paraphrasing
I like this saying regarding the witness, I think Christi or Yogani mentioned something along these lines in the forum somewhere.
Also, another saying that may be relevant. The first step of behaviour change is noticing, which you clearly are doing :)
I have moments where I feel I am not the talker or the body. It feels awesome when it happens. Like being free of a burden. And I admit I have felt it feeling weird at first.
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kannada
Australia
29 Posts |
Posted - Sep 02 2023 : 2:21:20 PM
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Hi Niels, I hope you don't mind if I contribute a snippet of something here, hopefully relevant to your point. It is something I wrote many years ago...
"Q. The adharmin (seeker) does not feel himself to be a fiction of mind. Why does the Dharmin say so?
A. It is without doubt that the claimed self of the adharmin is imaginary. The adharmin is in fact a collection of at least two imaginary selves in a single body thinking or communicating with each-other. This is why the adharmin refers to himself as “myself” – a self belonging to a self.
The thinking process is a conversation between these imaginary selves. The internalized conversations from one imaginary self to the other is an encouraged form of sanity amongst the adharmins. The adharmin believes that if s/he converses with him/her self then intelligent problem solving conclusions may be arrived at.
Worse still the adharmin’s use this form of self communication for recreational purposes, seeking self-opinions on virtually every aspect of the adharmin’s life. This mode of conduct is claimed to be a sane and acceptable part of an adharmin’s life. The adharmin teaches these processes to their offspring as soon as the infant is capable of forming word-concepts. How could the adharmin possibly become one with the universe if s/he is not even one with themselves?
The Dharmin does not suffer from the adharmin’s notion of sanity, does not need to become one with ‘oneself’ and does not cherish the notion of ‘the universe’." |
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Blanche
USA
874 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2023 : 2:20:06 PM
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Hi Niels,
Witnessing yourself engaged in daily life is exactly that: The Witness. As this state clarifies itself, we realize that we are the blank screen behind all the changing experiences, the screen on which the world movie is projected. The movie changes without affecting the screen. Your realization is a mark of inner silence deepening and stabilizing. It may be difficult to convey to someone else who does not have the experience, so be open minded when you talk with others. Even with a good explanation, it is hard to convey what a life changing experience is to live from the witness.
The witness may feel dissociative at the beginning, as the state goes in and out of focus. Just relax and observe. This is not the end of the journey. You may feel that the real you is more the observer, detached from the world. In time, you will find that the world, the movie, is also you. There is only One here. You will find that everything you do flows from the inner silence - moving stillness, stillness in action.
The guru is in you.  |
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Niels Jacob
France
52 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2023 : 5:27:23 PM
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Thanks a lot for your answers,
The notion adharmin/dharmin were for now totally unknown for me. I assume they are closely related to the « advaitin » which is referring yogani. Bless all of you. Love, Niels |
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Blanche
USA
874 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2023 : 1:45:56 PM
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"Dharmin" sounds like the Inner Guru - the realized self - the Divine.
It is better to leave the attachments with its good and bad judgements and continue on the spiritual path. Spiritual transformation is a process and making judgements about its stages is not helpful. When one lives from the inner silence or inner guru or dharmin, the view of the adharmin or witness will change. |
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