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Kevin
United Kingdom
4 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 20 2021 : 8:55:41 PM
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Morning everyone,
2 years ago I had this violent Kundalini awakening which has been ripping through my spine, chest and finally started occurring in the head (crown and third eye). I stopped meditation the moment this Kundalini thing started 2 years ago because I immediately connected the dots and realized that I was doing too much (especially after reading the main lessons over here which, btw, I wish I had come across before starting meditation), but whatever I do there seems to be no stopping the Kundalini energy climbing up the body and reaching the head (the physical symptoms of this rising energy are too many to name and not I'm here anyway). This is the case no matter how much grounding I do, so eventually I decided to just let it be and hope for the best.
However recently and after the energy became more noticeable in my head and third eye, I've experienced a dramatic resurgence of old fears and phobias so strong it's even worse than when I went through the them years ago before Kundalini.
Let me explain what I mean. 5 years ago (that's 3 years before my venture into meditation and subsequent Kundalini awakening) I was diagnosed with OCD (horrible intrusive sexual and harm thoughts) for which I took medication (SSRI or antidepressants). The meds worked nicely and the thoughts/anxiety became more or less a background noise thing and I could go about my life normally. I was happy OCD wise because it no longer bothered me. I even went off the meds 3 years ago (before Kundalini awakening started) and OCD was still a dormant thing for the next 2 years and all was well, until 2 months ago when the Kundalini energy became more forceful in the head!
This is not the first time this has happened, though. Last year when I had major energy rush in the head, my OCD came back for a short period of time but then receded back into the background of my mind. This time, however, it's much more forceful and enduring, and the physical sensations that come with OCD are 100 times more noticeable, even more than they were 5 years ago. All in all there seems to be a correlation between more energy in the head and more anxiety/OCD symptoms.
But I didn't come here to cry and complain. The reason I'm writing this thread is because I want to know if CBT therapy is even advisable at this point (I'm not going back to meds unless I really have to) because if this resurgence is basically bad karma being dissolved, then it's always better to just let it be instead of trying to micromanage the symptoms, right? I mean I'm doing ERP at the moment (exposure response prevention, which is said to be the best treatment for OCD), but GOOD GOD it makes my body hurt because the anxiety causes energy to rush all across the body and meet with all kinds of blockages (funny how Kundalini in my body has come to be synced with my overall psychological state, btw).
I've also realized that psychological/karma vulnerability and energy stuck in the chest/head are two things that go hand in hand.
What's going on? Again is therapy advisable at this point? I don't want to exacerbate a problem which will otherwise sort itself (if painfully). |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2021 : 04:55:07 AM
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Hello Kevin
Usually when kundalini and spiritual progress happen, the ego feels threatened so all our old patterns come back with a vengeance.That is good as a cleaning process but it can very difficult to navigate.That is why yoga can not replace medicine or therapies until one is full established in knowing one self as not the thoughts emotions sensations. So keep medicine hand in hand with your spiritual practices. |
Edited by - maheswari on Mar 21 2021 04:56:40 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2021 : 05:42:06 AM
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Hi Kevin
Welcome to the AYP forum. Sorry to hear about your recent troubles.
quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
whatever I do there seems to be no stopping the Kundalini energy climbing up the body and reaching the head (the physical symptoms of this rising energy are too many to name and not I'm here anyway). This is the case no matter how much grounding I do, so eventually I decided to just let it be and hope for the best.
Not fighting kundalini is a good idea, but I wouldn't give up on grounding. Are you able to take a long walk every day?
quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
I want to know if CBT therapy is even advisable at this point (I'm not going back to meds unless I really have to) because if this resurgence is basically bad karma being dissolved, then it's always better to just let it be instead of trying to micromanage the symptoms, right? I mean I'm doing ERP at the moment (exposure response prevention, which is said to be the best treatment for OCD), but GOOD GOD it makes my body hurt because the anxiety causes energy to rush all across the body and meet with all kinds of blockages (funny how Kundalini in my body has come to be synced with my overall psychological state, btw).
Yes, I can see the problem with Exposure & Response Prevention when you have an overactive kundalini. Strong emotions do hike kundalini. It's not ideal that your therapist probably does not appreciate its effects on your energetic symptoms. Unless he/she is familiar with kundalini issues, talking about self-pacing the therapy is unlikely to make much sense to him/her. I'll share a couple of thoughts, but bear in mind that my knowledge of psychological counselling may be very out of date (I trained as a psychologist, then chickened out of therapy and switched to a career in business many years ago). So check if any of the following is practical:
- It might be worth asking your psychotherapist if there is any form of CBT other than ERP that he/she would recommend. It's possible this might not be an option, with the NHS being so stretched - they will want to go with the most effective approach there is, won't they, so they might well stick to ERP. In which case,
- Consider combining the ERP sessions with medication. I know you said you're reluctant to take the pills, but if you don't make them a habit, it shouldn't be too bad. The medication is meant to take the edge off the emotional reaction to the stressor during the therapy session,. So there is logic in combining the two. Having said that, you might find the pills less effective now that you have an active kundalini, but they could be worth a try.
I wish you good luck and all the best. Things will settle down in time, but there is no knowing when, so try to stay comfortable and be kind to yourself through this rough time.
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Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Mar 21 2021 09:34:32 AM |
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Kevin
United Kingdom
4 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2021 : 1:34:23 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
Hello Kevin
Usually when kundalini and spiritual progress happen, the ego feels threatened so all our old patterns come back with a vengeance.That is good as a cleaning process but it can very difficult to navigate.That is why yoga can not replace medicine or therapies until one is full established in knowing one self as not the thoughts emotions sensations. So keep medicine hand in hand with your spiritual practices.
Question is does this "cleaning process" mean recovery from specific symptoms (aka bad karmas) is a given and a matter of time regardless of whether therapy is administered or not? |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2021 : 4:49:00 PM
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Hello Kevin
Good and bad karma are not really what I like to use.It is a neurobiological process.
And nothing is given, we don't know what the next moment will bring so how to speculate about spiritual unfolding.The concern is about your present discomfort, so why bypass it with some assumptions that might or might not happen?
Therapies have improved a lot over the decades, so it is a blessing to have them.They might help us sail more smoothly.
BRC has given very good technical advices
Also this lesson has an analogy that might resonate with you
https://www.aypsite.org/231.html
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Kevin
United Kingdom
4 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2021 : 8:10:03 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
Hi Kevin
Welcome to the AYP forum. Sorry to hear about your recent troubles.
quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
whatever I do there seems to be no stopping the Kundalini energy climbing up the body and reaching the head (the physical symptoms of this rising energy are too many to name and not I'm here anyway). This is the case no matter how much grounding I do, so eventually I decided to just let it be and hope for the best.
Not fighting kundalini is a good idea, but I wouldn't give up on grounding. Are you able to take a long walk every day?
quote:
Originally posted by Kevin
I want to know if CBT therapy is even advisable at this point (I'm not going back to meds unless I really have to) because if this resurgence is basically bad karma being dissolved, then it's always better to just let it be instead of trying to micromanage the symptoms, right? I mean I'm doing ERP at the moment (exposure response prevention, which is said to be the best treatment for OCD), but GOOD GOD it makes my body hurt because the anxiety causes energy to rush all across the body and meet with all kinds of blockages (funny how Kundalini in my body has come to be synced with my overall psychological state, btw).
Yes, I can see the problem with Exposure & Response Prevention when you have an overactive kundalini. Strong emotions do hike kundalini. It's not ideal that your therapist probably does not appreciate its effects on your energetic symptoms. Unless he/she is familiar with kundalini issues, talking about self-pacing the therapy is unlikely to make much sense to him/her. I'll share a couple of thoughts, but bear in mind that my knowledge of psychological counselling may be very out of date (I trained as a psychologist, then chickened out of therapy and switched to a career in business many years ago). So check if any of the following is practical:
- It might be worth asking your psychotherapist if there is any form of CBT other than ERP that he/she would recommend. It's possible this might not be an option, with the NHS being so stretched - they will want to go with the most effective approach there is, won't they, so they might well stick to ERP. In which case,
- Consider combining the ERP sessions with medication. I know you said you're reluctant to take the pills, but if you don't make them a habit, it shouldn't be too bad. The medication is meant to take the edge off the emotional reaction to the stressor during the therapy session,. So there is logic in combining the two. Having said that, you might find the pills less effective now that you have an active kundalini, but they could be worth a try.
I wish you good luck and all the best. Things will settle down in time, but there is no knowing when, so try to stay comfortable and be kind to yourself through this rough time.
Interesting points you make.
Yes, I've been taking long walks (1 hour minimum) everyday since my Kundalini started 2 years ago. I don't skip them at all because if I do it means I'm unlikely to be able to sleep at night, so long walks have become a part of my daily life since Kundalini and I can distinctly feel the energy becoming more "integrated" and less tense during long walks.
No I don't think any therapist will take Kundalini into account. To them, Kundalini will probably register as another cultural bound syndrome. My problem with ERP is that it (apparently) only works when the the exposure has been administered long enough for the anxiety to go up and then down during the same session. If you stop early, you're just reinforcing the OCD cycle, but if I go on for too long, I can feel the asymmetrical energy buildup in parts of my body that take days to diffuse.
I think ERP is a must for OCD. Funny thing is, though, I've heard about a specific Kundalini protocol for dealing with OCD which many people say "cured" their OCD symptoms. As someone already lost in the hikes and spikes of Kundalini, I was wondering if I could not use it to my advantage, and if the community here had anything to say about Kundalini protocols for OCD.
Also I was very surprised when I first learned that the biological center in the brain responsible for OCD, an overactive orbitofrontal cortex, is the same spot yogis refer to as the third eye. Many in the community actually claim OCD and anxiety disorders are caused by a blocked Ajna, and there are days when my ajna would be vibrating for hours!
Not playing the role of a scientist here but there has to be a connection, right? |
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Kevin
United Kingdom
4 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2021 : 10:20:58 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
Hello Kevin
Good and bad karma are not really what I like to use.It is a neurobiological process.
And nothing is given, we don't know what the next moment will bring so how to speculate about spiritual unfolding.The concern is about your present discomfort, so why bypass it with some assumptions that might or might not happen?
Therapies have improved a lot over the decades, so it is a blessing to have them.They might help us sail more smoothly.
BRC has given very good technical advices
Also this lesson has an analogy that might resonate with you
https://www.aypsite.org/231.html
Noted. Thanks. |
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Old fears coming back with force!
