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Donkey
Norway
8 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 25 2021 : 12:26:16 PM
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Hello everyone. Seeking some guidance and understanding.
Autumn 2013 I recieved a Shaktipat from a Master.
Some months later i woked up at the night beeing contaced by some spirit. I pinched my arm to be sure i wasnt dreamin.
Silky smooth waves of bliss was circulating in my body. From deepest down in my toe til the top of my head. It was delightful and fantastic.
The energetic waves lasted for about 30 min i guess, then it settled down. It was also a blue like light in the room.
The next months I was floating on skies. No thaughts, just pure beeing, fully aware, only love was present.
The next 3 years was a mix of bliss and intense purification of the system, there was seemingly a lot of blockages that needed to be cleared, this involved much intense crying, anger, ups and downs.
In 2016 I stumbled into Kriya Yoga and started this practice with great love and devotion.
Then a year after initiation into Kriya i "hit the wall" with my work situation and so on. My system was toally exhausted.
I ended up in bed for 3 months, i couldnt even work in my own garden.
After this breakdown, the 2 next years was very blissful, and there were few days without bliss, but the cleansing kept going and still some days very all about crying and despair.
Today the situation is not so good againg, much heavy cleansing in periods. Seems like one time per month.
It starts usually with severe pressure around heart area, til it reach a point were its totally unbearable, then i feel exhausted and usually cries for a couple of days, and in the end I usually get some beautiful realization.
So whats the problem...well I cant keep my jobs, because the pain get so big in periods.
I have kids and a familiy and its not very pleasant for them to see med angry, sad, overwhelmed by feelings. Many periods I feel like I am on my way to mental hospital..
Anyone can give me some advices im thankful.
I think 7 years begins to be enough with this beautiful but still crazy happening.
When it comes to meditaton practice I only do 10 minutes with balancing each morning. From 2016 - 2021 I did one hour of kriya yoga each day. Lately i`ve been extremely sensitive so I had to do less.
I dont expect a kundalini awakening to be heaven, but I wonder when the worse cleansing is finished..If it ever gets.?
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Jan 26 2021 : 10:30:42 AM
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Hi Donkey,
Sorry to hear about the difficulties you have been having.
Can you answer the questions in this post, as it will put us in a better position to be able to advise you:
https://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic...=11628#11628
You can copy and paste the questions into here.
Christi |
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Donkey
Norway
8 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2021 : 03:46:49 AM
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1. The symptoms have been there for some years.
Frequent urinating, bloated stomach, high variety in body temp, sweating at night, variety of energy levels ( reaching from exhausted to feeling like a champ that could run up and down mount everest 10 times), sudden aggression/sadness/cry burst/feeling confused, feeling alone in this world.
2.The symptoms are intermittent, they come and go, maybe once per 14 days, and often ends with crying and often some realization follow and bliss. Its almost like saving up energy, until it explodes, and then it gets calm again.
Its almost everytime combined with bad sleep for some nights. To much energy in body i guess..?, wake up many times during night. Very light sleep this nights.
3.It was awakened after a shaktipat/deeksha. It was very blissful at first with kriya yoga, but after some years it was more of a duty/and battle each time/tounge wanted not to be in kechari and so on, but i kept it there anyways because it was so blissful earlier.
Maybe i didnt take the signals that time, but just kept pushing myself..?
4.Kriya yoga from 2016 - 2021. ca 1 hour a day.
2012 - 2016, different guided meditations 2 times pr week. Not any breathing exercises then and no kechari mudra and so on.
This Crying episodes and feeling exhausted started pretty early after my awakening by the way.
5.Yes i am a sensitive person, I feel I can sense and see how everyone else has it, their feelings - their spiritual advancement - their inner thoughts and so on. I also feel like Im cleansing some people that i meet, often i feel like a swamp thats sucking all the bad karma out of people. ( maybe this got something to do with kechari mudra, i dont know ). Often i feel like its someones else pain/karma I have to cry out and therefore getting exhausted and angry an so on.
6.Never tried any form of drugs. Drank some alcohol when I was a teenager.
7.This is hard to say. I dont think i have more baggage than others, o course there has been loss of family members, that to say, I have always been a very closed person before my awakening, in my family we didnt speak of unpleasant things. But here have not been any abuse or similiar. I think my childhood was good.
8.I like sex with my wife, and will newer quit doing it;)
Sex is as natural as breathing:)
9.I have a normal norwegian diet. Bread, milk, cheese, different types of meat, fruits and vegetables, water, juice. I eat very little junk food and not much candy. But i eat much, because i excercise regulary.
10.I exercise regulary, last month i have done moderate excercise, walks, cycling, skiing.
But for 10 years before that i have trained hard, pushing my self to the limit each time i trained..Maybe this can have done the kundalini more aggressive..?
11. I am a devotional person, bu the devotion have become smaller the last 2 years. All my books are burned, one of my realizations was that i had to learn by myself, not by books.
I try not to engange myself in to much spiritual thoughts and readings on the internett, but some times when im feeling depressed, it is a kind of solace to hear about others experiences and thoughts.
12.I have a family, 2 kids and wife i am happy with. But not job for the moment, i had to quit my last job, because i was exhausted. I have been out and in of different jobs some years, i havent figuered out whats meant for me workwise yet.
I visit family members regular. I have not much friends outside family.
13.I was exhausted and burned out in 2016, laying on bed 3 months. Talked to my doctor and we agreed that i needed to rest. And i did so and was feeling good for a long time.
14. Can it be that kundalini tells mee to trust her completely, and everytime i dont, she gives me proper hell inside. Regarding my many situations quitting and starting in jobs, maybe i need to work with something i love, not only do for the income each month..?
15. I am a man, 39 years old. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2021 : 05:42:18 AM
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Hi Donkey,
It does sound as if you have pushed things too hard and have burned out. So taking it easy for a while could be a good idea. Intense exercise can make kundalini symptoms worse, so it would be good to avoid that. You should also go to the person who gave you shaktipat to ask what advice they would give, and to the people who initiated you into Kriya Yoga. It is important that people are not just giving out energy, or teachings, but also providing ongoing support to practitioners.
Grounding activities will certainly help you (gentle exercise such as walking in nature). See lesson 69 on this. See also lesson 367 on things that can help if you are very sensitive to spiritual energy. Over the long term you may do well to take up a more balanced yoga practice.
Christi |
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Donkey
Norway
8 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2021 : 09:04:42 AM
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Regarding taking up a more balanced yoga practice..
Are your opinion that kriya yoga aint well balanced? In case yes, why?
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2021 : 11:41:59 AM
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Hi Donkey,
I have never practiced Kriya Yoga, so I am not in a position to comment on it. But judging from your symptoms, it sounds as if what you have been doing has not been well balanced. A well balanced spiritual practice would generally not lead to the kinds of extreme experiences that you have reported above.
Christi |
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zamolxes
Romania
93 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2021 : 2:11:27 PM
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Hello Donkey,
From my little experience I would say that the symptoms are caused by an unstable practice. Before starting ayp. I did my meditations spontaneously, sometimes a practice duration was around an hour sometimes I would skip for days. And this irregularity caused many imbalances. Taking into consideration the amount of time between the outbursts it s very possible that in between them there's an irregular process of purification that finds the point of release when you are not prepared.
I don't know how kriya yoga practices are, but perhaps doing less of them would be wise, around 20 minutes would be good. I also encourage you to read the lessons of ayp to better manage your self-pacing and learn about your condition from the forum. Creating a practice of your own that suits you well. |
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Recieved Shaktipat, Need Support.
