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jh36m
USA
44 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 05 2018 : 12:04:27 AM
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Edited by - jh36m on Feb 07 2018 01:49:11 AM |
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Dogboy
USA
2242 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2018 : 3:58:46 PM
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| I'm sorry, I need more. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1731 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2018 : 5:38:31 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by jh36m
the more I learn the more i DONT KNOW.
Then the more we try to teach you, the less you will know 
How is your practice going? |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Feb 06 2018 06:46:37 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1731 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2018 : 06:46:10 AM
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How about grounding? It sounds like that might suit you better right now. Long daily walks, spending time with friends and family etc
All the best |
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jh36m
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2018 : 01:50:18 AM
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| maybe this is not the best thing for me to be here now |
Edited by - jh36m on Feb 07 2018 02:47:15 AM |
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jh36m
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2018 : 11:45:38 AM
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The only thing is I get all excited when something happens and want to share it ALOT, but some dont want that, or I am Way excited or something. I donno. Not going too well. It would be much better if I use something to sooth instead. This sight is probably alot more LiBerAL, maybe, from what I've seen..
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Edited by - jh36m on Feb 08 2018 12:03:53 PM |
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Dogboy
USA
2242 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2018 : 5:16:24 PM
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quote:
The only thing is I get all excited when something happens and want to share it ALOT, but some dont want that, or I am Way excited or something. I donno. Not going too well. It would be much better if I use something to sooth instead. This sight is probably alot more LiBerAL, maybe, from what I've seen..
My only problem is I don't know what you're talking about! What is it you want to share that I'm just not getting? |
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jh36m
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Feb 08 2018 : 9:00:27 PM
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Thats the thing. I can tell you generally, but I get hyped. one time 7 yrs ago i told someone in a mental hospital, more general stuff than now, and i was so hyped i had to have a shot to calm down.. thats just me. Ok, generally, resonance. REAL, then euphoric, ethereal, warm, and hot hot, tears, and have you heard of light language? well have you thought to translate?, my church SAYS YOU NEED TOO TRANSLATE.. my church even talks about your light language but with a different name and seriousness. do it to bless yourself. then Demons, angels, not seen of course, light drawings, symbols, words ENGLISH in dictionary that you read and gets deeper the further you read.. who put those things in the dictionary?, answers to life, at least mine, opened memories that resonate THESE feelings at time of my childhood i forgot, i got hyped, was forever banned from my church forum, happened three different places, am i divulging too much tell me??? voice-- i looked up name on search it told me, well i wont say what happened. i wont get into the things ive understood, hell and heaven, where im going, hell one day heaven another, at least understood,not seen,, i dont remember seeing anyway,, feared, or happy..Heaven, Hell, no in between, i divulge, then delete, i upset people, they tell me its SENSATIONALISM, they tell me i'm making my own life rules? what the ..?? i only have an IQ of 101, and i like to stay out of the spotlight for years now.. Take this with A GRAIN OF SAND. Maybe? i dont, but i cant really represent THIS STUFF.Like I should be doing.. There it is.. theres more I dont need to tell, and I made it as general as I could. Tell me "I'm ok", and NOT EXPOSING THINGS.. oh one last thing.. not sure i care if i go to hell anymore.. been faced with it day in and day out, but the heaven, not seen of course.. but see brilliant moving colors.. call me what you want.. there it is.. and what i want has been the love.. plain and simple. thats all i ever wanted..THATS IT. Please tell me i'm Ok or even crazy, but NOT SERIOUSLY"!!Wrong "" I HOPE NOT..    !! Ok I think this one is getting out there finally??i will../ I'm right between darkness and light.. scared to death, it got old, not scared anymore, Then LIFE!!
I mean REAL living life..Its GOOD. if I dont go to Hell that is..
 What you have to UNDERSTAND is this is what it is for ME, the way its happening, just an example, I cant say do this or do that, this is My experience and I like to read of YOURS.. |
Edited by - jh36m on Feb 09 2018 02:25:39 AM |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1553 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2018 : 03:23:27 AM
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Dear jh36m,
It is very hard to follow your writings - it sounds like you living a kundalini awakening and on this website, this is very common. So need to fear expressing yourself fully. We need to understand your situation clearly to offer advice, if this is what you are looking for - or to give feedback on your story. I understand that even talking about it hypes up this energy, resulting in either blissful heaven or fear and paranoia of hell. Take your time, be gentle with yourself and let it out. Blueraincoat is already nudging you towards grounding. Do you know good grounding techniques? Loads of information on this forum, if you are able to read without getting too excited.
Wishing you well
Sey 
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jh36m
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2018 : 05:02:12 AM
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its actually a relief you cant seem to follow, does it seem like i'm presenting it abstractly? i think abstractly, always have. or maybe riddles for safety? all i can say is ask a question, i'll tell you My experience there (and You can offer advice.) you'd also be surprised how grounded i CAN GET. that can be one of my joys to, not just coming down. i feel new emotions, strange THEY also help in things i do.i find out who i am. and yes i'm a student NOT a teacher. all i can do is put some of this out there and hope for lucid answers. and thank you.. I also feel i need to disclaim certain aspects, i'm not a teacher. thats one. i DO really need to be a learner right now. TRUE.. and i'm beside myself sometimes, this seems to be an interesting boost or something. dont think i know what its really about but i feel joy, alot in just experiencing. and i'd be hesitant like i said for someone to take any of this as advise or anything, i actually feel safe being real SMALL next to these things if you get my meaning... And as far as SPECIFICS of my experience; maybe I could say more, but the reality of it all is just, It is what it is. just maybe a bigger life.Oh, one thing.. MAYBE a tug of war between Heaven and Hell, I'm being pulled here and there.. I donno. you decide. |
Edited by - jh36m on Feb 09 2018 09:36:42 AM |
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jh36m
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2018 : 8:15:38 PM
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I do have one thing. I may be a bad influence. I need "guidelines" even AFTER grounding. like good ETHICS... (type stuff), not maybe some of my Grandiose stuff Some have heard me say. Thats my need right now. grounding isnt the main problem. Staying in the light GOOD side, in grounding AND in experiencing; is what I need seriously NOW. I dont even realise till AFTER.. |
Edited by - jh36m on Feb 11 2018 02:34:30 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1731 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2018 : 05:13:11 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by jh36m
grounding isnt the main problem. Staying in the light GOOD side, in grounding AND in experiencing;
Grounding is about experiencing, experiencing life at its most tangible level. Being outdoors, having people around, getting involved in mundane tasks like running your house, shopping, gardening, all these everyday jobs.
From what you're writing, it seems to me that this is what you need right now. And your instinct is probably right - spend less time on forums like this or reading spiritual stuff for now.
What do you do with yourself these days? What does your typical day look like? |
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jh36m
USA
44 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2018 : 06:51:17 AM
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Thank you all. First I understand virtues, but thanks for laying it out in more details for furthering understanding. One thing of peacefulness and virtues I didnt understand but now do, is when I go to sites and forums, and I "compliment people", I (over endulge) and Grandious the
compliment, endulging the senses way to much, but instincts have warned and I go back to the messages and TRIM them down in size and detail. sensations a lot. NON violent, I've been told, NON aggressive, and I wondered what was aggressive but understand now. also, on grounding and what my day looks like? Well, night is when I connect a lot pray, and IN the prayer, I kind of instinctly go into these kind of stillnesses of quietness, and then communicate more after. my sleep pattern is strange. after I pray, then sleep the first time I wake real blissfull, then gradually come out and reflect, happens about on que every night. then go listen to different musics on internet and look at art and that type stuff, go to bed, wake and do more, then morning, I wake feel normal, enjoy quiet while family sleeps in. Take daughter to school, and laugh and joke, then shop, then home and relax, bath, computers, different ones, music, winamp, wife wakes, we go downtown take care of business and pay bills or stuff, go to someones house, do chores, home and evening with family, late music on family, hard to get to want to relax and go to pray and bliss as I said earlier. but love the flow. WOW. Its weird, almost on que and after a day of normal, the second my head touches the pillow and i cover w/blankets, my body immediately goes into this deeply sensual type relaxation, softness. THEN i pray.. Thats all of the usual day, we dont have jobs because of dissabilities, but we do well, except I've been getting grumpier, and fixated on any engrossing internet, music, art etc, too much. and here I am now 438AM.. oh, one thing of curiousity, I am extremely sensitive to certain sounds, its very difficult even upsetting to hear- like, someone handling a bag of chips and it almost seems like the person, sometimes random, is TRYING to hurt me. I would rather someone punch me. its hard. but end on a good note, i love my family and thankfull to you also.. and the positivities.. |
Edited by - jh36m on Feb 11 2018 07:54:57 AM |
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