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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 09 2016 : 12:13:38 AM
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I am a new member, looking for some guidance.
Extremely sorry about this long post.
Recently I attended a vipassana course and quit the course on the sixth day. I am trying to process what happened and find a way forward.
I attended the course at a point in my life when there is a lot of general disatisfication regarding work, life style and the guilt of living far away from my aging parents. I thought vipassana will provide 'me' some clarity and direction for my future , this was just based on countless YouTube reviews. Frankly speaking I got into the whole spirituality/enlightenment years ago just to find a way to avoid suffering, not because I was interested in the truth. I just wanted to be ok no matter what happens in my life.
Several years back, when I was trying to get married, I was associating my self worth to marriage. At that time I had an extremely active mind , as I was constantly worrying about my future. This was tiring , so I went after meditation. Started with vedhathiri maharishi's Kundalini yoga , practiced it for just a few months. During that time I had some very minor restless sleep issues, not sure if it was caused by this yoga practice. When discussing it with a friend , I was told that kundalini can be potentially dangerous if body and mind is not ready for it and that if I am not feeling good with the practice, it is better to drop it. So drop I did, but I did start reading a lot about enlightenment/awakening. Read Ramana Maharishi, did not understand the 'who am I enquiry', watched YouTube videos of adyashanti, kept hearing the word 'awareness' and had not a clue what it meant , other than knowing the general meaning.
One day I was watching an adyashanti video on a rainy day while sipping tea and looking out of the window i.e. in a pretty relaxed state . In that video Adya said awareness cannot be grasped, it is just there. I immediately could observe myself observing the whole scene. I then knew the meaning of the words awareness and consciousness. I think this is the witness state, please correct me if I am wrong. Could this be the grace that Adya talks about. I attended just a couple adyashanti satsangs and his teachings resonated with me, but since I was interested in spirituality only to reduce my suffering , but not for the actual truth, my interest has been on and off all these years, the witness state (?) was boring to be frank. I was not into any form of everyday meditation, just would watch many YouTube videos of eckhart tolle, adyashanti whenever I felt like it, it gave me comfort and I would just remind myself every now and then to be present in some work situations and when meeting family. I can be totally lost for weeks, i.e. self absorbed without even thinking about awareness for weeks but always was pulled back into wanting to be aware.
I have what I believe is anxiety related shortness of breath issue, which is not a constant, but which hits me hard when I am unaware, i.e. when I have an over active mind. The problem has been acute only twice in the last couple years. I believe I have high pain resistance , but I terribly fear breathing related issues or any severe physical pain for anyone I know.This is my biggest fear in life.
Things were fine the first and second day of the vipassana course. There were aches and pains, but nothing unmanageable. On the third night of the 10 day vipassana course, I was reminded of something I read in the Internet about someone's vipassana experience, the person ended up being depressed and Mr. goenka in that third day's dharma talk was talking about dying before death, so I was a bit scared and that same night I also found myself being highly critical of myself for not knowing how to dress appropriately for cold weather (it was too cold) or mediation , while everyone around me seemed very put together. I hated my hair and thought I looked a mess with my unsuitable clothes and was giving too much thought to what I was going to wear for the remaining days etc. and not liking the fact that I was focused on these irrelevant things during a meditation course. So basically there was a lot of conflict. i.e. I was vain and judged myself for being vain during a meditation retreat. This I believe caused the anxiety and I couldn't sleep or breathe well the entire night.
The next day when vipassana was first introduced ( first three days only anapana is practiced ), I had trouble breathing, for I couldn't relax, as i thought it was highly important to follow the instructions to the dot and Mr. Goenka was very serious about the whole thing. So I was concentrating with effort, instead of a relaxed yet focused awareness and was not breathing through the whole meditation and had an other night of no sleep and proper breathing. The dharma talk that day was about how enlightenment is critical to avoid an other painful rebirth and this got me worrying about my aging parents who have no interest in any meditation whatsoever.
The fifth day , just walking into the meditation hall caused me to tighten up. Mr. Goenka's voice saying you have to start working, work hard, etc. made me take the whole thing too seriously again, also I knew I was stuck in my position in the hall for the duration of the meditation regardless of whether I can breathe or not. With some awareness I noticed that when trying to identify the sensation in a particular body part, the concentration was causing me to hold my breathe, as I was not relaxed. I was intervening with the natural breath and I couldn't get the breathing and mediation going at the same time and I was asked not to leave the hall during the mandatory group sessions and dharma talk. This added to my distress along with the dharma talk where Mr. Goenka says you cannot leave the meditation course midway, likening vipassana to an surgical operation of the mind. I was worried if my mental health will be disturbed if I quit. The assistant teacher said a lot of stuff must have come up and that is the reason for my distress and that I am holding on to something and I should just let go and relax. I couldn't relax. I managed to sleep for a few hours that night and tried vipassana on the 6th day, I started off by breathing normally, but I couldn't observe any sensation and when I tried harder, I was again holding my breath. I quit that day and was really jealous of the other meditators who did not seem to have much of a problem with continuing the course. I am pretty sure it was hard for many people, but they all could still hang in there.
On the morning of day 5, I could clearly see that though I was in severe discomfort due to lack of proper breathing, my mind was adding a huge layer of suffering on top of the pain, and 'abide in the awareness' was the words that filled my head and this I believe kept me slightly sane through this whole ordeal. My mind went back to Adyashanti saying that it is simply enough to abide in the awareness, he calls it effortless effort. Not sure if this resonated with me because I think I have the witness perspective or if it is my ego finding this much easier to do and avoiding the hard work. I was pretty unhappy to quit vipassana, as I looking forward to this course a lot and quitting meant coming back again to the old life I had, with nary a change in mindset.
Since getting back , I have been reading on self enquiry and I have been able to just abide in the awareness, I can see that when I look there is no separate self to be found. I have been able to rest in the awareness, though now I am in the comfort of my sibling's place and not having to deal with the ordeals of my daily work life. Hope I can keep this going even after I get into the hum dum of daily life.
Here are are my questions and I am hoping you guys can help me out.
Are meditations like vipassana practiced to give rise to the witness or is it important to continue doing such meditations to get rid of your Sankara.
What caused my anxiety during the vipassana course, is it lack of awareness to deal with the stuff that came up. i.e. was my ego scared and made me quit the course.
Do I have the witness state , if I do , should I practice some meditation to enhance it or just go ahead with self enquiry , For now I can kind of see that there is no separate self and I can observe my thoughts.
Which books of Yogani can I buy to figure out the meditation practice I should follow from now on.
Your guidance will be much appreciated. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2016 : 02:09:07 AM
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We cultivate ecstatic bliss here. Freedom from suffering is a byproduct. The real prize is an outpouring of divine love, which is a palpable presence, and not just the absence of something. Beauty becomes ever present, even in the shadows.
Samyama is perhaps the most radical and rewarding practice, because it moves stillness outward. First, settle into Deep Meditation, then leverage inner silence by releasing desires and intentions into bliss consciousness.
Adyashanti, and others of his fold, take a more passive approach. If that style of standalone self-inquiry works better for you, AYP may not be to your liking. We are very active, systematic, and rely on daily routines to generate results. Yogani's Enlightenment Series covers all the major bases, and with a subscription to AYP Plus, you get access to all the books, plus a bunch more. It's a hell of a bargain, and a really sweet deal.
Whatever your path is, I wish you the best.  |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2016 : 02:25:31 AM
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P.S. I've never done a 10-day vipassana retreat, but I have a few friends who have done it, with mixed results. Personally, I think it's a recipe for imbalance, because the prolonged periods of no-talking and witness meditation are a bit drastic, to say the least.
AYP retreats are more balanced and leave room for communication and bonding amongst attendees in between the practice sessions. The AYP approach is gradual and incremental, weaving in spiritual practices with the normalcy of daily responsibilities and socialization. It's a much smoother ride that way. 
We don't push away from. We move towards.  |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2016 : 05:34:02 AM
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quote:
Here are are my questions and I am hoping you guys can help me out.
Are meditations like vipassana practiced to give rise to the witness or is it important to continue doing such meditations to get rid of your Sankara.
What caused my anxiety during the vipassana course, is it lack of awareness to deal with the stuff that came up. i.e. was my ego scared and made me quit the course.
Do I have the witness state , if I do , should I practice some meditation to enhance it or just go ahead with self enquiry , For now I can kind of see that there is no separate self and I can observe my thoughts.
Which books of Yogani can I buy to figure out the meditation practice I should follow from now on.
Your guidance will be much appreciated.
Hi Anonymous05,
Bodhi has given you good advice already.
Just to add to what Bodhi said, a 10 day Burmese style vipassana course is a pretty intensive ordeal. You should not feel at all upset that you did not last the full 10 days. 100 hours of meditation in 10 days in silence is something that many people would not be able to do.
The truth is, that such an intensive practice is not necessary at all. Awakening can happen in a much more gentle way and be much easier.
In answer to your question about vipassana meditation, all forms of meditation will both develop the witness and help to get rid of samskaras. This is because abiding in/as the witness will in itself dissolve deeply rooted tendencies within the mind.
Your anxiety that arose during the course would have been caused by being too caught up in thoughts/ memories/ fantasies etc. The solution to that is to learn to bring the mind to stillness and silence through meditation. This in turn will bring about freedom from suffering. So it is a win-win. 
You will know when you are abiding in the witness state because the mind will be silent. Thoughts can still be present, but they are arising out of silence and passing away into silence. This is abiding inner silence, or the witness. To reach this state, it is important to practice meditation. Self inquiry practices are only really useful once inner silence/ the witness, has been cultivated. Until then, there is a danger that it can just become mind games. The mind playing games with itself.
In terms of books, I would recommend: Advanced Yoga Practices, Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living, by Yogani. It will basically walk you through the whole process of awakening from start to finish. As Bodhi says, subscribing to AYP Plus will also give you access to all the books online, including the Easy Lessons books (volumes one and two).
Hope that helps,
Christi |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2016 : 06:14:57 AM
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Welcome Anonymous05 to these AYP forums,
You received already good advice just wishing you a smoother journey,
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Edited by - Charliedog on Mar 09 2016 06:35:40 AM |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2016 : 07:37:41 AM
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| Welcome to the forum. Others have given you splendid advice. Begin by gentle deep meditation. Self inquiry can wait for later in the spiritual journey. Adding pranayama after a month of Deep meditation will also help improve your shortness of breath issues. |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2016 : 1:06:11 PM
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Also, A05, along with a dedicated meditation practice, start by simply being easy and forgiving of yourself. When the mind begins to chatter or judge, witness that "oh there it is again" and tell it to shush for now. The moments that follow are always quieter, and that is a nice place to be.  |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Mar 11 2016 : 11:00:29 PM
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Iquote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
We cultivate ecstatic bliss here. Freedom from suffering is a byproduct. The real prize is an outpouring of divine love, which is a palpable presence, and not just the absence of something. Beauty becomes ever present, even in the shadows.
Samyama is perhaps the most radical and rewarding practice, because it moves stillness outward. First, settle into Deep Meditation, then leverage inner silence by releasing desires and intentions into bliss consciousness.
Adyashanti, and others of his fold, take a more passive approach. If that style of standalone self-inquiry works better for you, AYP may not be to your liking. We are very active, systematic, and rely on daily routines to generate results. Yogani's Enlightenment Series covers all the major bases, and with a subscription to AYP Plus, you get access to all the books, plus a bunch more. It's a hell of a bargain, and a really sweet deal.
Whatever your path is, I wish you the best.
Thanks, Bodhi Tree for your response. I don't get the different between the active and the passive approach. May be I need to read yogani' books to understand. If it wouldn't take too much of your time, please do explain, else I will try to read what AYP is all about and figure it out myself. |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2016 : 12:45:12 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
quote:
Here are are my questions and I am hoping you guys can help me out.
Are meditations like vipassana practiced to give rise to the witness or is it important to continue doing such meditations to get rid of your Sankara.
What caused my anxiety during the vipassana course, is it lack of awareness to deal with the stuff that came up. i.e. was my ego scared and made me quit the course.
Do I have the witness state , if I do , should I practice some meditation to enhance it or just go ahead with self enquiry , For now I can kind of see that there is no separate self and I can observe my thoughts.
Which books of Yogani can I buy to figure out the meditation practice I should follow from now on.
Your guidance will be much appreciated.
Hi Anonymous05,
Bodhi has given you good advice already.
Just to add to what Bodhi said, a 10 day Burmese style vipassana course is a pretty intensive ordeal. You should not feel at all upset that you did not last the full 10 days. 100 hours of meditation in 10 days in silence is something that many people would not be able to do.
The truth is, that such an intensive practice is not necessary at all. Awakening can happen in a much more gentle way and be much easier.
In answer to your question about vipassana meditation, all forms of meditation will both develop the witness and help to get rid of samskaras. This is because abiding in/as the witness will in itself dissolve deeply rooted tendencies within the mind.
Your anxiety that arose during the course would have been caused by being too caught up in thoughts/ memories/ fantasies etc. The solution to that is to learn to bring the mind to stillness and silence through meditation. This in turn will bring about freedom from suffering. So it is a win-win.
You will know when you are abiding in the witness state because the mind will be silent. Thoughts can still be present, but they are arising out of silence and passing away into silence. This is abiding inner silence, or the witness. To reach this state, it is important to practice meditation. Self inquiry practices are only really useful once inner silence/ the witness, has been cultivated. Until then, there is a danger that it can just become mind games. The mind playing games with itself.
In terms of books, I would recommend: Advanced Yoga Practices, Easy Lessons for Ecstatic Living, by Yogani. It will basically walk you through the whole process of awakening from start to finish. As Bodhi says, subscribing to AYP Plus will also give you access to all the books online, including the Easy Lessons books (volumes one and two).
Hope that helps,
Christi
Hi Christi, thanks for your response, I take it that I only need the advanced yoga practices books vol 1 and 2, I do not need to buy deep meditation, as whatever is in there is covered in the AYP books. Please correct me if I am wrong. |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2016 : 12:46:26 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
Welcome Anonymous05 to these AYP forums,
You received already good advice just wishing you a smoother journey,
Thanks, Charliedog. I have been reading this forum for a week now. You guys are great and very helpful. |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2016 : 12:48:53 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by jusmail
Welcome to the forum. Others have given you splendid advice. Begin by gentle deep meditation. Self inquiry can wait for later in the spiritual journey. Adding pranayama after a month of Deep meditation will also help improve your shortness of breath issues.
Thanks, jusmail. Will do. |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2016 : 12:57:16 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy
Also, A05, along with a dedicated meditation practice, start by simply being easy and forgiving of yourself. When the mind begins to chatter or judge, witness that "oh there it is again" and tell it to shush for now. The moments that follow are always quieter, and that is a nice place to be.
Just being aware of the thoughts results in the tapering of thoughts. Will just abide in the awareness and take it easy. Thanks, Dogboy. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2016 : 01:27:41 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by anonymous05
I don't get the different between the active and the passive approach.
Well, Adyashanti offers something called "True Meditation", which is essentially abiding in a witness state of awareness without trying to alter anything whatsoever. With Deep Meditation, we are making a subtle effort to introduce the mantra into our thought-streams, which is obviously more active than doing nothing ("True Meditation"). The mantra is like a broom that sweeps the room. With Adyashanti's method, there is no broom, no sweeping, no tool for cleaning.
Incidentally, the passive style of witness meditation is recommended as one option for over-sensitive meditators who might be experiencing overload from Deep Meditation, so I'm not saying that "True Meditation" is useless. It's just not as powerful as Deep Meditation.
Paradoxically, a little effort leads to effortlessness. So, with an active practice like Deep Meditation in place over the long-term, there is more flow in stillness (stillness in action).
And yes, you are absolutely correct that you will be able to rely on your firsthand experience by diving in and starting a routine. That's the best way, for sure. |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Mar 12 2016 : 5:39:01 PM
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quote:
Hi Christi, thanks for your response, I take it that I only need the advanced yoga practices books vol 1 and 2, I do not need to buy deep meditation, as whatever is in there is covered in the AYP books. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Hi Anonymous,
With the Easy Lessons books you will have a great deal of material to be working with, and a lot of Deep Meditation instruction. There is actually more material in the Deep Meditation book and the other smaller enlightenment series books than there is in the Easy Lessons books, but the Easy Lessons books are certainly enough to start with. The Easy Lessons books cover all of the AYP practices.
I would advise buying Vol 1 before Vol 2, as there is a huge amount of material in Vol 1.
The Easy Lessons books are a series of lessons which are presented in the order that the AYP practices are best taken on. So one lesson leads to the next. On the AYP Plus site there are now 234 lesson additions which expand on the basic lessons and go into further detail on how the practices are done.
Christi |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Mar 14 2016 : 11:51:32 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
quote:
Originally posted by anonymous05
I don't get the different between the active and the passive approach.
Well, Adyashanti offers something called "True Meditation", which is essentially abiding in a witness state of awareness without trying to alter anything whatsoever. With Deep Meditation, we are making a subtle effort to introduce the mantra into our thought-streams, which is obviously more active than doing nothing ("True Meditation"). The mantra is like a broom that sweeps the room. With Adyashanti's method, there is no broom, no sweeping, no tool for cleaning.
Incidentally, the passive style of witness meditation is recommended as one option for over-sensitive meditators who might be experiencing overload from Deep Meditation, so I'm not saying that "True Meditation" is useless. It's just not as powerful as Deep Meditation.
Paradoxically, a little effort leads to effortlessness. So, with an active practice like Deep Meditation in place over the long-term, there is more flow in stillness (stillness in action).
And yes, you are absolutely correct that you will be able to rely on your firsthand experience by diving in and starting a routine. That's the best way, for sure.
Thanks, Bodhi Tree. This helps. |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Mar 14 2016 : 11:52:47 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Christi
quote:
Hi Christi, thanks for your response, I take it that I only need the advanced yoga practices books vol 1 and 2, I do not need to buy deep meditation, as whatever is in there is covered in the AYP books. Please correct me if I am wrong.
Hi Anonymous,
With the Easy Lessons books you will have a great deal of material to be working with, and a lot of Deep Meditation instruction. There is actually more material in the Deep Meditation book and the other smaller enlightenment series books than there is in the Easy Lessons books, but the Easy Lessons books are certainly enough to start with. The Easy Lessons books cover all of the AYP practices.
I would advise buying Vol 1 before Vol 2, as there is a huge amount of material in Vol 1.
The Easy Lessons books are a series of lessons which are presented in the order that the AYP practices are best taken on. So one lesson leads to the next. On the AYP Plus site there are now 234 lesson additions which expand on the basic lessons and go into further detail on how the practices are done.
Christi
Thanks, Christi. |
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swamilite
USA
6 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2016 : 12:19:23 PM
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Hi Anonymous,
I quit a 10-day vipasanna group after 3 days, and never regretted it. Ironically, years later I discovered a meditation that's basically vipassanna, that actually works. It's a simple watching meditation, except instead of watching thoughts, or breath, one watches a series of very uncomfortable sensations in the chest and abdomen. For instance, you spoke of intense anxiety, that would be a sensation in the stomach produced by the dark veil of fear. Once your awareness is caught in the veil, it is instantly directed to the mind where you go over the endless fear scenarios searching for the elusive answers that will make it go away. Course none of them work. They've never worked. They'll never work because they are simply distractions from the reality of what is happening: a very uncomfortable sensation in the belly. Get out of your head and into reality. Find what you are actually feeling, and it's not a label (fear), or an intellectual masturbation, it's a physical sensation. It has no meaning, and it sure as hell isn't protecting you from danger. Find the sensation, separate, and watch it, neither for nor against. Do this every time the sensation appears and you will be withholding the energy that sustains it. Without the energy to sustain it, the veil dissolves along with all the fearful thoughts it had been generating. This is one of the veils supporting the ego nightmare, and as such the ego does not want you to do this meditation, and will do everything in it's power to distract you. That's the work. The other ego veils of darkness are the pain veil surrounding the heart, and the anger veil in the forehead (third eye).
To find a description of this awakening process go to rebelliousspirit.com, and find "Awakening" in the webzine section, or order the book from Amazon. Learn this one simple meditation and it will dissolve all barriers you encounter on the path.
In any event, good luck to you, and remember, if the path doesn't make the ego nervous, it's unlikely to work. |
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hemanthks
Canada
59 Posts |
Posted - Apr 06 2016 : 04:29:49 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by swamilite
Hi Anonymous,
To find a description of this awakening process go to rebelliousspirit.com, and find "Awakening" in the webzine section, or order the book from Amazon. Learn this one simple meditation and it will dissolve all barriers you encounter on the path.
In any event, good luck to you, and remember, if the path doesn't make the ego nervous, it's unlikely to work.
Namaste swamilite
Is it possible to share the link for the book ? Thank You |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2016 : 02:06:54 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by swamilite
Hi Anonymous,
I quit a 10-day vipasanna group after 3 days, and never regretted it. Ironically, years later I discovered a meditation that's basically vipassanna, that actually works. It's a simple watching meditation, except instead of watching thoughts, or breath, one watches a series of very uncomfortable sensations in the chest and abdomen. For instance, you spoke of intense anxiety, that would be a sensation in the stomach produced by the dark veil of fear. Once your awareness is caught in the veil, it is instantly directed to the mind where you go over the endless fear scenarios searching for the elusive answers that will make it go away. Course none of them work. They've never worked. They'll never work because they are simply distractions from the reality of what is happening: a very uncomfortable sensation in the belly. Get out of your head and into reality. Find what you are actually feeling, and it's not a label (fear), or an intellectual masturbation, it's a physical sensation. It has no meaning, and it sure as hell isn't protecting you from danger. Find the sensation, separate, and watch it, neither for nor against. Do this every time the sensation appears and you will be withholding the energy that sustains it. Without the energy to sustain it, the veil dissolves along with all the fearful thoughts it had been generating. This is one of the veils supporting the ego nightmare, and as such the ego does not want you to do this meditation, and will do everything in it's power to distract you. That's the work. The other ego veils of darkness are the pain veil surrounding the heart, and the anger veil in the forehead (third eye).
To find a description of this awakening process go to rebelliousspirit.com, and find "Awakening" in the webzine section, or order the book from Amazon. Learn this one simple meditation and it will dissolve all barriers you encounter on the path.
In any event, good luck to you, and remember, if the path doesn't make the ego nervous, it's unlikely to work.
Thanks for your response swamilite. For now I am sticking to true meditation , which is more of a surrender and letting go, due to my recent bad experience with the active meditation. If this doesn't work, then I will check out the book you've recommended. |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Jun 14 2016 : 6:38:58 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by swamilite
Hi Anonymous,
I quit a 10-day vipasanna group after 3 days, and never regretted it. Ironically, years later I discovered a meditation that's basically vipassanna, that actually works. It's a simple watching meditation, except instead of watching thoughts, or breath, one watches a series of very uncomfortable sensations in the chest and abdomen. For instance, you spoke of intense anxiety, that would be a sensation in the stomach produced by the dark veil of fear. Once your awareness is caught in the veil, it is instantly directed to the mind where you go over the endless fear scenarios searching for the elusive answers that will make it go away. Course none of them work. They've never worked. They'll never work because they are simply distractions from the reality of what is happening: a very uncomfortable sensation in the belly. Get out of your head and into reality. Find what you are actually feeling, and it's not a label (fear), or an intellectual masturbation, it's a physical sensation. It has no meaning, and it sure as hell isn't protecting you from danger. Find the sensation, separate, and watch it, neither for nor against. Do this every time the sensation appears and you will be withholding the energy that sustains it. Without the energy to sustain it, the veil dissolves along with all the fearful thoughts it had been generating. This is one of the veils supporting the ego nightmare, and as such the ego does not want you to do this meditation, and will do everything in it's power to distract you. That's the work. The other ego veils of darkness are the pain veil surrounding the heart, and the anger veil in the forehead (third eye).
To find a description of this awakening process go to rebelliousspirit.com, and find "Awakening" in the webzine section, or order the book from Amazon. Learn this one simple meditation and it will dissolve all barriers you encounter on the path.
In any event, good luck to you, and remember, if the path doesn't make the ego nervous, it's unlikely to work.
The first time I read this message, it didn't make much sense as it was just like vipassana which I failed.
But after having an other intense anxiety episode where I was caught up in my mind, I now understand what you were trying to say.
Currently anxiety creates some pressure in the head, so you are saying just notice that and remain with that instead of engaging my mind.
Correct me I am wrong, if not, thanks a lot, will sure try to remain in the body rather than in the mind. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jun 15 2016 : 07:12:10 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by anonymous05
Currently anxiety creates some pressure in the head, so you are saying just notice that and remain with that instead of engaging my mind.
I do this with unpleasant emotional states and I find it useful.
One bit of input in answer to your 'which form of meditation' question:
The way I see it - there are two ways to burn impurities/samskaras. You can do it through awareness or in that state of consciousness created by mantra meditation. The latter is the easier way. The vibration of the mantra dissolves the 'dross' accumulated in the system. But if you are over-sensitive to mantra meditation, you are left with no choice but to burn impurities in awareness. This is the hardest, less comfortable way.
If you are able to do mantra meditation, I would recommend it as the smartest and most powerful method. It will have the effect of increasing awareness in daily life as it makes the mind quieter. If you find you are sensitive to mantra meditation, then breath focused meditation is a good alternative, or passive awareness meditation, for those who already have a good level of inner silence.
Best wishes |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Jun 15 2016 07:16:43 AM |
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anonymous05
USA
59 Posts |
Posted - Jun 16 2016 : 6:47:09 PM
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Iquote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
quote:
Originally posted by anonymous05
Currently anxiety creates some pressure in the head, so you are saying just notice that and remain with that instead of engaging my mind.
I do this with unpleasant emotional states and I find it useful.
One bit of input in answer to your 'which form of meditation' question:
The way I see it - there are two ways to burn impurities/samskaras. You can do it through awareness or in that state of consciousness created by mantra meditation. The latter is the easier way. The vibration of the mantra dissolves the 'dross' accumulated in the system. But if you are over-sensitive to mantra meditation, you are left with no choice but to burn impurities in awareness. This is the hardest, less comfortable way.
If you are able to do mantra meditation, I would recommend it as the smartest and most powerful method. It will have the effect of increasing awareness in daily life as it makes the mind quieter. If you find you are sensitive to mantra meditation, then breath focused meditation is a good alternative, or passive awareness meditation, for those who already have a good level of inner silence.
Best wishes
Thanks, BlueRainCoat. This helps. I have a follow up question, will post it in the aypplus forum. |
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Vipassana experience and self enquiry
