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maku
USA
3 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 19 2016 : 2:10:36 PM
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I have been meditating daily (although often very briefly) for about 15 years and have always been spiritually motivated. I have learned various techniques, including pranayama, but for the last few years it's just been meditation. Meanwhile, I have also been experimenting with "vajroli" (although I didn't know what it was called) over the same time period. I figured out how to allow an orgasm without ejaculation right at the beginning, about 15 years ago, and in retrospect, some energetic changes may have already begun back then. Quite recently, I developed the ability to ejaculate without releasing sperm -- the ejaculation would just include prostate fluid, cowper's fluid, etc. Then, starting about 10 days ago, something happened:
First, I had a dream where a huge cobra-like serpent emerged from a tunnel and tried to attack me. It didn't occur to me at the time to connect the dream with anything like kundalini.
Then, I had my most advanced vajroli-like experience yet, where there was a full orgasm and ejaculation (without releasing sperm), with the accompanying electrical spasms, and as I tried to visualize the energy moving toward my spine, I felt a slight tingle. (Maybe I'll start a thread about that in the Tantra forum, although I don't feel the need to keep practicing it. I think it was just a trigger.)
Over the next couple days, I felt filled with new energy, and felt the urge to extend my meditations, which also became much more powerful. At the same time, I noticed that my sexual energy had shifted and it was difficult to get aroused.
After about five days, bloating of the abdomen started, with constant burping all day long. By this point, I had started to realize that maybe what I was experiencing had something to do with kundalini. My internet searches lead me to this forum, and I was relieved to discover that the bloating is both expected and has a purpose.
For about four days, the bloating was extremely uncomfortable and made it difficult to get a full breath. I spent much of my time finding positions in which I could stretch enough to really fill my upper lungs, since my lower lungs were limited by the bloating. But at the same time, I noticed the positive sensation at some points of some energetic rumbling in my lower back (nothing very intense) along with wonderfully deep meditations.
Yesterday, I apparently had my first soma experience. First, I started to experience this cool sweetness arising from my abdomen. And then soon after I got my first waves of sweet, joyful energy.
Although I already have my own approach to meditation, I am now starting to incorporate some AYP methods to help me work with this new energy. I'm grateful for all the information shared here, as it helped me make sense of what was happening to me. As luck would have it, all this unfolded in the midst of some intensely stressful work situations, so the added stress of four days of intense bloating and difficulty breathing would probably have been too much for me to handle if I hadn't had the good fortune to discover the helpful information provided here.
Anyway, that's my story so far. Thanks again to yogani and everyone else. |
Edited by - maku on Feb 19 2016 3:45:21 PM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2016 : 3:39:21 PM
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Hi maku, welcome to AYP!
Make sure you read the lessons on self-pacing too.
All the best on your path 
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2016 : 03:56:00 AM
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| Welcome to the AYP forums maku. Thank you for sharing your story. |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2016 : 08:03:58 AM
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Hi Maku,
Welcome to the AYP! Thank you for sharing. I would like to add something about your dream. Dreams are a way for the non-verbal part of the psyche to comunicate with the awareness. Snakes are a symbol of strength, regeneration, and transformation. Seeing one in a dream suggests that changes are happening to get to higher levels of consciousness. The fact that the snake "attacked" you might be a suggestion that there are some worries about the upcoming changes. Jung interprets the snake as an archetype of the upcoming or ongoing spiritual changes. It is a very positive sign.
Best wishes for your practice! |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Feb 20 2016 : 12:29:27 PM
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Welcome Maku!
quote:
Although I already have my own approach to meditation, I am now starting to incorporate some AYP methods to help me work with this new energy. I'm grateful for all the information shared here, as it helped me make sense of what was happening to me. As luck would have it, all this unfolded in the midst of some intensely stressful work situations, so the added stress of four days of intense bloating and difficulty breathing would probably have been too much for me to handle if I hadn't had the good fortune to discover the helpful information provided here.
The structure of AYP (gentle asanas, siddhasana, SBP, deep meditation, then rest) is a good one to structure your practice, and as Blue points out, be ready to reduce practice when discomfort arises in your everyday. As aroused prana becomes more commonplace, make the intention to balance this energy with the inner silence you cultivate via meditation to stabilize the purification process.
Nice things are happening, easy as it goes! |
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maku
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2016 : 02:10:02 AM
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Thanks, all, for your encouraging comments.
@BlueRaincoat: Thanks for the advice on reading the self-pacing lessons.
@Blanche: Good point about the anxiety about changes. What I didn't mention is that really there has always been a part of me secretly wanting to awaken kundalini, but consciously I had subscribed to various viewpoints that questioned whether the kundalini path would be the right one for me. So there was (and perhaps still is) some inner conflict that may also have influenced aspects of the dream.
@Dogboy: Thanks for the helpful advice on how to keep balanced.
By the way, what's the rule of thumb around here on sharing experiences? My impression is that such sharing is encouraged here, but today I came across some warnings (not on this site, but elsewhere) about the disadvantages of sharing one's spiritual experiences. I saw something from Aurobindo suggesting that such sharing could cause the apparent progress to evaporate. And, and it happened, my own energy was significantly lower today, so I entertained the seemingly irrational thought: could it be that sharing my experience here contributed to some diminishing of the experience? My guess is that the two aren't really connected, but I mention it in case anyone has some insight on the matter.
Thanks again and best wishes to all |
Edited by - maku on Feb 21 2016 03:21:17 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2016 : 04:10:45 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maku
what's the rule of thumb around here on sharing experiences?
There is nothing wrong with sharing experiences. There would be a danger if you got attached to experiences. That could slow down your progress. Experiences are like the scenery you see passing by during a journey. Enjoy them, but if you're getting mesmerised by them to the extent that you forget about the driving, then you can be slowed down.
It's the daily practice that leads to progress. Experiences come and go. Let them come and let them go.
quote:
Originally posted by maku
my own energy was significantly lower today
Peaks of energy can leave you a little burnt out. If you sizzle intensely for a while, you will feel flat afterwards. You don't want to make these peaks and valleys too steep - that is self-pacing. As you slowly and gradually increase your stamina, you will be able to sustain more and more energy without burning out. But it has to be slowly and gradually, there is no other way.
Practise wisely and enjoy |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Feb 21 2016 04:13:05 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2016 : 05:09:25 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by maku
By the way, what's the rule of thumb around here on sharing experiences?
Finding AYP answered many questions. And this is because Yogani was open, he shared experiences in the lessons.The lessons are in clear language, made for people with a life, work, family, friends.
Sharing and reading others experiences on these forums helped me, and I am very grateful for this.There was never noticed any delay in progress or practice because of sharing. Experiences and energy level will be never exactly the same. It is also important to know that everyone has his own experiences, and that we are all unique, with our own karmic patterns.
Best wishes to you |
Edited by - Charliedog on Feb 22 2016 07:56:50 AM |
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maku
USA
3 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2016 : 4:49:22 PM
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Thanks for these helpful clarifications:
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
There is nothing wrong with sharing experiences. There would be a danger if you got attached to experiences. That could slow down your progress. Experiences are like the scenery you see passing by during a journey. Enjoy them, but if you're getting mesmerised by them to the extent that you forget about the driving, then you can be slowed down.
It's the daily practice that leads to progress. Experiences come and go. Let them come and let them go.
That sounds just right.
quote:
Originally posted by BlueRaincoat
Peaks of energy can leave you a little burnt out. If you sizzle intensely for a while, you will feel flat afterwards. You don't want to make these peaks and valleys too steep - that is self-pacing. As you slowly and gradually increase your stamina, you will be able to sustain more and more energy without burning out. But it has to be slowly and gradually, there is no other way.
That's a good point, and a good further incentive for proper pacing. One has to be ready not only for the ups but also for the downs.
quote:
Originally posted by Charliedog
Sharing and reading others experiences on these forums helped me, and I am very grateful for this.There was never noticed any delay in progress or practice because of sharing. Experiences and energy level will be never exactly the same. It is also important to know that everyone has his own experiences, and that we are all unique, with our own karmic patterns.
That rings true for me.
I'm also noticing that there seems to be some intelligence behind the way the process unfolds. During the period that the bloating made me have to stretch my upper lungs to get a full breath, I had the thought that I was also being taught to use my upper lungs more fully. Now that the bloating has settled down a bit, I have developed considerable pain at the inner edge of my left shoulder blade, which causes the reverse: now it's difficult to fill my upper lungs due to the pain. So it feels that, among other things, I'm now being taught to use more of my lower lung capacity by doing really full belly breaths. Bit by bit, I'm being pushed to adapt and transform, and although it feels difficult, the difficulties are only arising at an intensity that I know is within my capacity to integrate.
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2016 : 08:01:14 AM
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quote:
I'm also noticing that there seems to be some intelligence behind the way the process unfolds.
As Yogani says, The Guru is in You |
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unexpected but welcome kundalini activation (?)
