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NoDogma
USA
123 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 15 2015 : 11:07:03 PM
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clarification-1 : I am referring to a relationship involving sexual intercourse and one with LTR as aim if not actual marriage. It can be hetero, homo, bi, poly.
if one considers the basic nature, then the basis of a relationship is sexual [edit sentence]. Everything else seems to be a human way to sustain it including : emotional part, the feeling of togetherness, the romance, the dreams woven together and lives lived to fulfill the dreams and promises etc.
In the end, the two remain two individuals. At least in my experience , there was no unity, but several emotions enjoyed together including ecstacy, joy, pain, pleasure, anger, sadness, aggression/suppression, energy transfer [edit : added] ..
So, since this forum is about yoga (unity) and relationships, my question is how much unity is really achieved in man-woman relationship (you can change man-woman to combinations of XX and XY).
thanks, |
Edited by - NoDogma on Mar 15 2015 11:48:51 PM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2015 : 08:11:17 AM
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Hi NoDogma,
In my opinion there is not one answer possible for this question, because it depends on the level of consciousness.
As long as you feel yourself as a person, the unity will be on the personal level, but if you can reach behind that, then also the relationships will change.
Love is of two kinds: natural love is one which expects something in return. Divine Love expresses itself in loving service without expectation of any return.
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Edited by - Charliedog on Mar 16 2015 08:35:18 AM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2015 : 09:39:31 AM
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| It does indeed depend on the level of consciousness. Charliedog's answer is spot on. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2015 : 10:04:36 AM
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NoDogma
USA
123 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2015 : 11:33:33 PM
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Well, I am trying to be wiser about relationship this time around. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because I once told her that I feel the same love for everyone whether it is her, or the next door dog who barks all the time, or the homeless guy at the corner whom the cops were trying to displace.
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 12:02:46 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by NoDogma
My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because I once told her that I feel the same love for everyone whether it is her, or the next door dog who barks all the time, or the homeless guy at the corner whom the cops were trying to displace.
Love it. Classic.  |
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technoyogi
Canada
158 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 01:12:08 AM
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Screen you next potential mate with the same question, how they would love you in comparison to everyone else. When their answer matches yours, you wont have that problem again  |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 08:11:17 AM
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quote:
Well, I am trying to be wiser about relationship this time around. My ex-girlfriend broke up with me because I once told her that I feel the same love for everyone whether it is her, or the next door dog who barks all the time, or the homeless guy at the corner whom the cops were trying to displace.
Ouch! No wonder she is an "ex". A mate needs to feel a special bond and together your relationship becomes a unit. Shiva and Shakti unite, and still remain separate entities. Love doesn't have one level of intensity, and it most likely was hurtful to her to be loved as much as a barking dog! Some things are best left unexpressed.
The oneness you seek is built on how much you invest in each other over time, and is never static, it changes and fluctuates. It is fine to have an ideal regarding unity, but if you build too many walls around this ideal, it becomes a box with no way in or out. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 08:12:13 AM
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Ah, I see the question of matching the consciousness level in a relationship arising. Tricky one.
You can certainly hold out for a match at the beginning of a relationship, but what happens if people change at a differed pace or even go in different directions spiritually a few years into their relationship? |
Edited by - BlueRaincoat on Mar 17 2015 08:12:57 AM |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 09:44:00 AM
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| Yes, you love everything. The world was created by love, is maintained by love, and dissolves in love. Do you really love everything with the same intensity? Or is it just an aspiration? And if you do, have you told your loved one that you love her without limits, without beginning and ending, that you see the Divine in her, the great, unborn, immortal, golden luminous Divine, the Divine that permeates and sustains and is in fact everything in this world? |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 4:31:38 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Blanche
... the great, unborn, immortal, golden luminous Divine, the Divine that permeates and sustains and is in fact everything in this world?
Mmmm...Ahhhh...Ohhhh... |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 4:43:57 PM
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| Bodhi, your tongue is sticking out... |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 5:37:24 PM
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| Hey, if one's love includes equally the girlfriend, the dog, and the homeless, don't you think that the elephant in the room should be mentioned? And no, it is not a metaphor, it is a direct experience on the yoga path. |
Edited by - Blanche on Mar 17 2015 5:45:32 PM |
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NoDogma
USA
123 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 7:57:48 PM
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** smiles **
I should've mentioned in the post that I was joking when I said we separated because of that sentence. We had some interesting discussion(s) about it but it wasn't the cause :-) ..
although I can very well see a sentence like that causing a split. :-)
I probably love everyone equally but it doesn't mean I show it equally nor does it mean I should be 'nice' all the time. Those things are governed by the non-real (maya) world :-)
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 8:34:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Dogboy
Bodhi, your tongue is sticking out...
Must be the dog in me. I think I was one in a past life. That would also explain why I like getting petted (by divine hands).  |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 9:42:27 PM
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| Bodhi, you are chasing It. You are well on your way to That. And I think you know it. |
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NoDogma
USA
123 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 10:09:11 PM
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Bodhi, I wish you lifelong petting by the divine hands
In Bhutan, I had come across people who don't hit/curse dogs because they believe dogs next life is human. I don't know if the belief is related to Budhhist (or some branch of it).
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2015 : 10:14:57 PM
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| [insert emoticon for wagging tail] |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2015 : 01:43:38 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Blanche
Yes, you love everything. The world was created by love, is maintained by love, and dissolves in love. Do you really love everything with the same intensity? Or is it just an aspiration? And if you do, have you told your loved one that you love her without limits, without beginning and ending, that you see the Divine in her, the great, unborn, immortal, golden luminous Divine, the Divine that permeates and sustains and is in fact everything in this world?
Dear Blanche - this is exactly what I wanted to tell NoDogma yesterday after reading his foolish words to the girlfriend. Good thing I did not have time to do so - you've said it way better than I ever could have.
Sey
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2015 : 07:05:08 AM
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quote:
In Bhutan, I had come across people who don't hit/curse dogs because they believe dogs next life is human. I don't know if the belief is related to Budhhist (or some branch of it).
In this respect we are all dog boys and dog girls! |
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Blanche
USA
873 Posts |
Posted - Mar 18 2015 : 07:41:22 AM
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| Dear Sey - thank you, and greetings to the Divinity in you, my friend. |
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NoDogma
USA
123 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2015 : 12:25:21 AM
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| Sey, sometimes you have to dig deeper to understand what was implied. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2015 : 01:30:19 AM
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My apologies. No offense meant. I do understand where you were coming from.
Sey |
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Topic |
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what is most achieble in a relationship ?
