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Kyman
530 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 16 2006 : 11:02:06 AM
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I feel like in my heart there is a womb, and what I am doing through meditation is centering myself there. When my mind connects to this center, it causes my body to behave in certain ways. Their is calm, tranquility, creativity, love, and a timeless sense of joy. My body then manipulates my environment, extending this birth of order or harmony into my world. This is how I heal myself and what I use to inspire myself and others.
It is extremely difficult for me to manage in this world here. Mainly, I grew up in an extremely chaotic household. Not much guidance and attention. Not only was I never really prepared enough for our capitolistic system, I am not at all pre disposed to excelling in it. My natural perspective seems to not want to participate in a good bit of it, making it difficult for me to relate to others.
I fantasize often about living apart from this artificial community, where I can live in the womb and heal, learning to truly be an independent soul. Only then, after I find myself, and nest myself in love, could I be the servant I aspire so strongly to be.
Everyday I want to be with god, when alone, with others, or with art. Through relationships, food, drugs, pain, I am trying to be with god. Through humor and contemplation, I am trying to be with god. In talking with all of you, that is always my intention.
Has anyone ever lived in a community that was itself the womb of life? I don't care about recognition in this world, or social rank, or wealth. I only want health, which includes objects needed for survival, friendship, romance, and work. I want nothing more than to be my self, as deeply as my heart will open itself up to.
I would really love to start exploring the world more and living in different places, taking in different people, different aspects of god. Has anyone done this in their life or have any advice on the subject to offer me? I have no money and very few belongings, so I am searching for the womb out there that those before me have cultivated and continue to do so for the same reason I would.
Thanks everyone for listening, I most certainly appriciate it. |
Edited by - Kyman on Sep 16 2006 11:06:32 AM |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2006 : 6:17:09 PM
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Kyman,
You're a very interesting person...cool to read about your deepest thoughts. Thank you for sharing them. I think that travelling and seeing new things is a great idea. Money isn't that big of a deal...there's work to do everywhere. Plus people give money to people that beg on the streets in bigger cities. I'm sure it could work in a smaller city too.
Hitchhiking...or just hiking, is a good way to get places. When you sleep at night, don't sleep right on the ground cuz it sucks your heat up and you can become hypothermic. That's why homeless people use cardboard...in case you didn't hear of that before.
Another option is getting a seasonal job then travelling when you're off season. A lot of people like to hire during the holidays...there are a bunch coming up so now would be a good time to apply at different places. That also gives you some time to think of the places you'll want to go.
If getting airline tickets, check all of the different days. Tuesdays sell a lot cheaper...you could be saving hundreds of dollars. Don't travel during holidays of course. Instead of going to a website like travelocity go to the airline's website...that could also save you hundreds of dollars. Last time I checked on Delta airlines, it was 100 less for the same flight than on travelocity.
In some countries there are shelters that you can stay at overnight. Look up information on hiking across Europe...I haven't done much looking into it but I've heard of people going over there for a long time for very cheap.
I enjoyed reading your insights, Kyman. Good luck with whatever you do.
-Scott |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2006 : 8:38:22 PM
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Thank you for your suggestions.
Travelling is a fantastic idea. I've been studying french and look forward to practicing it in canada. I'm going to go on a trip with my dad. Also, it is appealing to me because of its nature draw.
My main goals are to pry myself loose from my metaphorical ball and chain. My lifestyle isn't so bad, I'm just too stationary. It's just how we grew up in my family. I want to experience the freedom of the universe wherever I go. There was a time where whereever I went it felt like home. I would like to revisit that state of mind very much. |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2006 : 10:06:45 AM
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| I'm too stationary too. Maybe I'll see you out there on the trails we forge, Kyman. Let us know what you will do. |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2006 : 10:26:17 AM
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It's like stationary equals attachment, in my experience. I don't know about anyone else here.
Because of the lack of guidance and stimulation as a child, routine became a hallmark for me. It helped to get through the day. Now, I find that being stationary or being on a single track is fertile ground for attachment.
After a while it feels like you are attached to rail and are just going through the day. Repetition is the death of curiousity, which we all know is a cornerstone of joy.
Thankfully I have the presence enough not to turn away from my situation, but try to tough it out and learn from it. I think, if I was able to tune into the world more and become one with the undercurrent of joy in the world, I could root myself into it.
Rooting yourself into a current doesn't sound too stationary for me, especially if it is a joyful one. :)
Likewise, keep me informed of any insights you have or personal breakthrough which you think my serve my own intentions in some way.
Thanks for the replies. |
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Living in the womb of life
