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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 27 2015 : 1:34:12 PM
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Hey there! I am new to this forum and grateful to have found it.
Before I list my symptoms, here is a little background on me.
1. Depressed and angry before kundalini.
2. Tried religion in my twenties. Found it flawed and incomplete.
3. 56 year old woman
4. Became more spiritual in my late 40's.
5. Read Tolle's "The Power of Now" and loved it.
6. Tried to live more in the present moment and limit my ego.
7. Started having symptoms shortly after that.
Symptoms: Began several years ago with an experience of oneness. I had a "knowing" that we are all one and that we are a part of God and not separate as I was taught. Soon after that, I was taking a nap and was awakened by very strong vibrations in my chest during a lucid dream. It felt like a vibrating cell phone X 10. A year later, I was napping again and had vibrations again. Same thing the next day, but I just rode them out and had an OBE for the first time in my life. The next day (yes, I was taking ALOT of naps because I was so sleepy all the time) I felt a thickness like a snake go up my core and circle my heart twice and then stop there. The next day, I was asleep and felt a tickling on top of my head followed by what felt like electricity swirling around in my head and then traveling down into my body. I was then sexually stimulated twice and arched my back twice. This was bliss and ecstasy like I have NEVER felt in my life.
Anyway, a few days later, the kriyas started. My back would twist and turn. My eyes would move on their own. My head would nod and shake hard from side to side, then the mudras began. My hands would go up or into prayer position, make graceful movements. My hands would touch me in very loving and sexual ways. There was not anywhere on my torso that was not attended to. Arthritis in my shoulder was found and given attention. My face was poked and prodded and massaged. Sometimes my hands would form a fist and pound the top of my head and forehead.
I still have symptoms today. A lot of kriyas, head shaking. THe stretching gets more complex everyday. I don't know much about yoga but I seem to be doing spontaneously at night.
I have tried to remain calm through this, but at times it is hard. I feel very loved and taken care of...even protected through it all. I do not know what to expect next but I choose to trust kundalini.
Thanks for listening. I feel like I could use some guidance and advice if anyone has any to offer.
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Edited by - margaret1958 on Jan 31 2015 10:11:42 AM |
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Charliedog
1625 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2015 : 2:55:03 PM
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Hi Margaret,
Welcome to this forum! You did find the right place to be with all your questions. There is so many to read in the beautiful lessons of Yogani.
My kundalini awakening was also before I did any yoga practice, but after that I was triggert
by the word yoga.
I found a real good teacher (I know now) and after some time Yoga became my life. It was not always easy........At this moment, 10 years after, I see the world in a whole new perspective.
Kundalini, changed my life and I see it as my guide, my Beloved.
Yoga became my life, as I work now as a yoga teacher myself, and love every minute of it.
Here on this forum we can share experiences and help each other.
So welcome!
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2015 : 5:01:27 PM
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Hi Charliedog,
Thank you so much for the nice welcome.
I think I will be doing yoga for a very long time. I love that you teach it now.
I do have a question that I hope someone can answer. I do not think that kundalini has reached my crown by going UP. It felt like mine came down from an outside force. What does this mean? |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2015 : 6:52:09 PM
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Spinal breathing...great way to regulate the flow between the root and the third eye:
http://www.aypsite.org/41.html
Spinal breathing can also be targeted to specific areas like the crown to release obstructions, but since it sounds like you're pretty sensitive, you should use self-pacing and make sure you focus on the main channel (sushumna) before putting too much attention on the crown. On this note, I've found great benefit in the solar centering enhancement:
http://www.aypsite.org/368.html
Of course, inner silence is the prerequisite for playing with energy, so Deep Meditation accomplishes that very effectively: http://www.aypsite.org/13.html
Also, grounding is very, very important: long walks (even barefoot), exercise, playing music, dancing, singing, talking to friends, balancing the profound with the mundane, etc. "Head in the clouds, feet on the ground." 
Godspeed. 
P.S. Not to rain on your parade, but teachers like Eckhart Tolle can be heavy into self-inquiry and detachment, and therefore sometimes portray (directly or indirectly) the ego and/or mind as enemies. Here in AYP, the ego and mind are viewed as the vehicles of enlightenment, and therefore considered friendly allies. Perhaps the most powerful utilization of the mind is samyama (http://www.aypsite.org/150.html), which is moving stillness via subtle thoughts released systematically and rhythmically into the field of unbounded awareness. |
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 07:43:26 AM
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Thank you so much for your response Bodhi Tree. I will check out your links. I need all the help I can get!
You didn't 'rain on my parade at all. Although I believe that some of the spiritual work I was doing because of Tolle's book is what woke me up, I also think he knows about awakened kundalini and he has never addressed it. At least, not to my knowledge. And I am glad to know that my ego is not the enemy.
Thank you for your help. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 08:17:27 AM
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Hello Margaret, welcome!
Boddhi Tree has given you some good links. I would like to add one more.
AYP includes two types of meditation: mantra meditation (Lesson 13, which you already have the link to) and breath focused meditation, which you can find in Lesson 367
Having quite an unruly kundalini myself, I think you might find it prudent to build up from a very low level of practice and see how your K is affected by it. Considering my own experince, I'd say it's worth experimenting with 10 minutes meditation sessions before you go up to 20. Meditating on the breath instead of mantra is a more gentle practice. Should you need it, you know where to find it.
If you could put in the time, I would suggest reading the AYP lessons from the beginning. They will give you a good understanding of where you are on your spiritual journey and why developing inner silence (through meditation) is so crucially important.
quote:
Originally posted by margaret1958
I do not think that kundalini has reached my crown by going UP. It felt like mine came down from an outside force. What does this mean?
Everybody is different in their K awakening. Why it happens exactly the way it happens is hard to tell. You were right in feeling yourself protected, with your K working its way through the lower levels first. This gives you time to prepare before K reaches the crown, so hopefully you will have an easy and pleasant experience of it.
I hope you enjoy the AYP lessons. See you around the forum. |
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Ecdyonurus
Switzerland
479 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 08:56:22 AM
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| Welcome Margaret! Can't offer any suggestion because I don't have similar experience, just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience! Wish you all the best. |
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 10:14:33 AM
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Thank you BlueRaincoat! Excellent advice. I plan to read the AYP lessons. I will make time. I know I am on the most important journey of my life and I plan to take advantage of it.
I will try to do some experimenting like you said. I am just so new to this and there are so many directions to take it, it is hard to know which is right. Up to this point I have only done relaxed meditation and tried to let kundalini do her thing, but maybe I need to put in some more effort.
Have a great day! |
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 10:15:18 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ecdyonurus
Welcome Margaret! Can't offer any suggestion because I don't have similar experience, just wanted to thank you for sharing your experience! Wish you all the best.
Thanks!! I am looking forward to getting to know everyone here. |
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 1:54:51 PM
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Margaret
Welcome to the group. I have gone through similar experience as well. As you stated below. It is better to go with your inner voice, intuition during meditation as that is the right path. Sometime we are overlly thinking about which path to take. But always listen to your inner voice that is the right one.
" I have only done relaxed meditation and tried to let kundalini do her thing, but maybe I need to put in some more effort."
i am also using the breath meditation as i am sensitive as well. So in my opinion if it is working for you then keep on doing it.
All the best
PKJ |
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2015 : 6:20:47 PM
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pkj,
Thank you! I will look into the breath meditation.
I guess I am just confused. I DON'T want to do the wrong thing. I have read so many horror stories.
I also only lay down to meditate. I cannot sit cross legged because I have a bad knee. Although at times I can feel a lot of energy around it. Maybe it is being worked on. 
I have read about 5 books and scoured the internet reading about kundalini. And I still don't understand it completely. So mysterious!!
I would be interested to hear more about your experiences since you said they are similar to mine.
Thanks again! Margaret
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 11:04:52 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by margaret1958
I cannot sit cross legged because I have a bad knee. Although at times I can feel a lot of energy around it. Maybe it is being worked on.
I too feel that kundalini is finding my weak spots. I think it does stimulate healing.
You should not force your knee. We always work within our limits. If it can be bent comfortably to any extent, do that. If not, try to find a stable sitting position in which you are comfortable for the length of your meditation.
No need to rush into anything. Just begin with a bit of reading and let your curiosity take you further. When you feel ready, experiment for a couple of minutes at a time with whatever meditation technique appeals to you. You will know what to do.
All the best |
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 12:38:36 PM
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Thanks BlueRaincoat. I appreciate that!!
I have started spinal breathing and it feels very good and the right thing to do. What I am wondering about though, is why kundalini would need any effort on my part. It is obviously a very intelligent energy so I would think it could do it's thing without any interference or pushing on my part.
Also, is it really necessary that I sit in an upright position at all? Is laying down to meditate a bad thing? Does it inhibit the movement of kundalini if I lay down...hasn't seem to so far.
Thank you so much for your advice. Margaret |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 2:12:34 PM
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You are moving pretty fast - already started experimenting with an AYP technique!
Be sure to look into meditation as soon as practically possible.
There are two lines you need to be moving along:
1. Inner silence, which is developed with meditation
2. Energy/Kundalini - which we work on by doing spinal breathing and all the mudras and bandhas described in the AYP lessons
Inner silence comes first (it makes a sound foundation for the energy work), so you must make a start with meditation. Not to mention the fact that you have already made a head start on the energy side.
quote:
Originally posted by margaret1958
Also, is it really necessary that I sit in an upright position at all? Is laying down to meditate a bad thing? Does it inhibit the movement of kundalini if I lay down...hasn't seem to so far.
Yes, sitting is the best position for meditation. If you are not comfortable sitting, then you can meditate laying down, but work towards a sitting position using cushions or whatever it takes.
quote:
Originally posted by margaret1958
why kundalini would need any effort on my part. It is obviously a very intelligent energy so I would think it could do it's thing without any interference or pushing on my part.
That is an interesting question and I could speculate on how the breath may be helping the energy move around and clearing up blockages. But the reality is I don't really know the anatomic basis of the process. Yogis have just tried it – as I'm sure they've tried a great many things - and spinal breathing is one that works really well. It smooths out the energy flow and amplifies it with practice. Maybe other people will want to give you their explanation here. |
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kumar ul islam
United Kingdom
791 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 3:43:47 PM
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| Hi my only advice would be to listen to the ayp series on audio you can buy it on iTunes to listen is fantastic and you can listen while doing mundane tasks also available is the an audio called sacred verses healing sounds a wonderful interpretation of the Bhagavad Gita |
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 4:20:38 PM
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Ok Blueraincoat. I am going to figure out a way to sit up to meditate.
As far as inner silence goes, I would say that I have been working on that for years. The voice inside my head used to NEVER shut up. It drove me crazy. I learned how to shut it up, for the most part, a long time ago and finally found a little peace. |
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 4:21:17 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by kumar ul islam
Hi my only advice would be to listen to the ayp series on audio you can buy it on iTunes to listen is fantastic and you can listen while doing mundane tasks also available is the an audio called sacred verses healing sounds a wonderful interpretation of the Bhagavad Gita
Thank you! I will check it out! |
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 5:18:57 PM
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Hi margaret1958
Here is my post for the oversenistive meditators.
It has helped me greatly.
Once Kundilini is active lot of fears and the past karma starts coming out. so we need to find some place to let it out. For me any breathing overloads but this practice definitely helps.
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....14490#122967
All the best
PKJ
Moderator note: Non-functioning link repaired.
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2015 : 5:34:47 PM
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pkj,
I was REALLY looking forward to reading that but the link didn't work for me. :( |
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2015 : 10:26:54 AM
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Margaret
here is the summary:
i was thinking off starting on this topic today to share some experiences as I am over sensitive meditator as well. Now if you go through the Yogini's lesson below it is very well written and i have
http://www.aypsite.org/367.html
personnel experiences to validate some of the things said over there. In my case over sensitivity came with the Kundilini awakening as i am doing Yoga, meditation long time (10 years) but only one and half year ago when K started moving (Crown opening) it is totally different. So my oversensitivity is to do with K awakening. Now i tried mantra meditation and SBP both does overloads me as well. Even alternate breathing can overload. Now going by Yogini's lesson I can tell from personnel experience mindful meditation works for me. I have tried it but sometimes oversensitive meditators are generally sensitive as well. so sometimes it is difficult to say if it is overloading or not as there is slight fear factor as well.
Now but I found out myself if i sometime open my eyes and just be mindful when i am starting the meditation and after sometimes when I am ready I will close my eyes it is very helpful. It will delay the transcending because sometime even with the mindful med. just by closing eyes it automatically goes to 3rd eye and then overloads. So idea is to delay the transcending and too much purification. So I wanted to share this if you open your eyes and be just mindful and then close it when u r ready it will not overloads. i think in Yoga it is called Chit mudra. i find this to be very useful in addition to the Yogini's lesson. True verfication will be during the day if you feel better then it is working. I have tried many things but this really helps.
Now to answer your question if it is meditation or Samayama. I think yogini mentioned oversensitive meditators can do three things. Mindful breath meditation, Samyama and service. Now in my opinion there is shuttle diffeence between Samyama and meditation for the over sensitive meditators but they keep on going back and forth between two. so at the end of the day if it is working without overloading then i will continue. As for the oversensitive meditators it is important to establish the silence then rest of the things will follow.
All the best
PKJ |
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margaret1958
USA
27 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2015 : 10:15:45 AM
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Thanks PKJ! I appreciate that!
I realize that I have been doing mindful meditation all along and did not even know it. The spinal breathing also feels really awesome.
I tried focusing my attention on an object. That seemed to relax me and quiet my mind.
I am just experimenting at this point until I can find just the right combination. |
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my kundalini journey
