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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 07 2015 : 2:34:43 PM
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Hi Friends,
It's been four years of unknowingly receiving shaktipat and two and half years of AYP. I’ve come to a point where I can no longer engage in formal meditation. Even three minutes of breath meditation is too much. I attend Asana class once in a while. I’ve come to a point where I’ve started residing in my body more- facing every emotion that comes up. It’s easier with the witness.
However, I miss the inner silence that I used to have with daily meditation. It was always there, now it is in the background and have to find it. But, life has become a spiritual practice. I’m well aware of not chasing anything especially bliss . No more transcendence, just facing whatever comes up.
I’ve been grounding a lot. I listen to spiritual teachers online and read a lot (hard to let go). I know this is adding to the problem, I’m working on it . Hoping I can go back to my daily sittings soon. Any advice?
 Sunyata |
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jusmail
India
491 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2015 : 4:58:37 PM
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| Maybe you could add samyama and later cosmic samyama for more balance in your life off and on the mat. |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Jan 07 2015 : 11:27:46 PM
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Dear Sunyata,
Sounds like you are already doing the best thing. Living life fully within Awareness is what it all boils down to after removing the bells and whistles of experiences, kundalini and bliss.
Sey |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2015 : 01:41:07 AM
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Keep self-pacing at the forefront, honor the inner guru, and believe that you can participate fully in the miracle of living, and you will. A little at a time.  |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2015 : 12:13:59 PM
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Love to you, one parent to another
I am almost a year and a half in AYP with a Kundalini that activates with very little attention. It makes sense for a beginner to stay on course, two sittings twice a day, to 'fertilize the soil', to build the foundation for your temple. I am at the stage where I fall deeply into active stillness with little effort. Yoga (meditation, asana, pranayama, Bhakti, inquiry) has a foothold in my day; it can happen anywhere and everywhere, and has become especially playful.
As a result I have put complete trust in my guru. I no longer schedule my sits, I sit when I want to sit. Often it just presents itself as "now would be a great time for some silence and samyama". While my daughter stalls at bedtime I do asanas in the hallway. While stuck in traffic I might trace my spinal nerve a few rounds. Practicing this way overlays the transparencies to create a fulfilling whole.
I am blessed to have had the foreknowledge from all the AYPers of their issues of overload and self pacing. This has given me perspective on keeping it simple and sustaining for the long haul. I am sorry you need to dial back so drastically, that you feel a sense if loss, but your guru knows, and should be respected. Your yoga is still there and will always be. It just might manifest in another way.  |
Edited by - Dogboy on Jan 08 2015 12:17:20 PM |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2015 : 12:38:00 PM
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Dear Sunyata
I really shouldn't be worried about taking a break.
Yes, ideally we should keep it steady, but I find that bhakti does add an element of unpredictability to it - a big one. A few days or weeks to cool off could bring the answer.
Yes, it's hard to let go. Perhaps that is the lesson before you now?
All the best and keep us posted. |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2015 : 2:24:11 PM
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jusmail- Thanks for the input. Samyama is happening in daily living. However, I’m afraid adding formal samyama may only add to the issue.
SeySorciere- I agree. I’m glad some of those bells and whistles are over. Loved the good part but glad the scary ones are over.
Bodhi Tree- Well said
CarsonZi- Thanks, Carson for the thread. It could have been written by me word for word.
Dogboy- to you as well.Glad you are doing well. I’ve never had the chance to schedule my sits. I started AYP after my first baby was born and now with two, there is no way. I’ve always been an overly caution practitioner. Only practiced max 5 min SB, 15 DM and samyama and mulabandha for few weeks – this is the most I’ve done in the two and half years. Most days just DM and samyama
Now I’m positive that coming in with a lot of energy might have added to the oversentivity. I was not aware that I had energy overload until now. I was looking for extreme energy overload like after the shaktipat. Well-lesson learnt! Even though, I don’t post frequently on the forums-I’m always here reading everyone’s post. I really enjoy your sense of humor. I want to participate frequently but can’t with the responsibilities at the present moment.
BlueRaincoat- Yes that is probably the lesson.
Personally, just being in witness feels very dry. Witness with the sweetness of inner silence is heavenly-Life is making me let that go as well. I guess I’m exactly where the divine wants me to be- In the body experiencing every emotion both positive and negative-Embracing the duality of life when resting in awareness. Now only if my resistance to some things fell off quickly.
to you My Friends
Sunyata
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Edited by - sunyata on Jan 08 2015 2:26:16 PM |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2015 : 09:47:56 AM
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Hello Friends,
An update- I'm able to do 5 minutes of breath meditation without overloading. Asana classes have totally changed - what used to feel strenuous postures have become bliss full. 75 minutes class goes away in the blink of an eye.
Also, a realization - The phase that I went through few years ago where I wanted to get “enlightened” yesterday. It’s really the mind that’s trying to get enlightened, trying to have experiences. It’s the only the here now in the daily living where the fun is!
The highs and lows have settled down. In the past when bliss came, I would be soaring so high in it –felt like I was flying in the sky, merged with the creation. And, when the lows hit it was down in the dumps-longing for the bliss phase. Now it’s easier not to get caught up in both the phases.
The joy is when my inner state reflects in my day to day life. This is when I’m one with the creation.
Sunyata
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Christi
United Kingdom
4514 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2015 : 09:56:20 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
Hello Friends,
An update- I'm able to do 5 minutes of breath meditation without overloading. Asana classes have totally changed - what used to feel strenuous postures have become bliss full. 75 minutes class goes away in the blink of an eye.
Also, a realization - The phase that I went through few years ago where I wanted to get “enlightened” yesterday. It’s really the mind that’s trying to get enlightened, trying to have experiences. It’s the only the here now in the daily living where the fun is!
The highs and lows have settled down. In the past when bliss came, I would be soaring so high in it –felt like I was flying in the sky, merged with the creation. And, when the lows hit it was down in the dumps-longing for the bliss phase. Now it’s easier not to get caught up in both the phases.
The joy is when my inner state reflects in my day to day life. This is when I’m one with the creation.
Sunyata
Hi Sunyata,
All sounds well.
Remember to stay grounded by actively engaging in grounding practices every day. There is a saying that when we are rooted well into the earth, we can rise to the heavens.
All the best
Christi |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2015 : 4:29:34 PM
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| Head in the clouds, feet on the ground. |
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Dogboy
USA
2294 Posts |
Posted - Feb 12 2015 : 5:20:36 PM
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quote:
Hello Friends,
An update- I'm able to do 5 minutes of breath meditation without overloading. Asana classes have totally changed - what used to feel strenuous postures have become bliss full. 75 minutes class goes away in the blink of an eye.
Bliss energy has affected my asana practice in exactly the same way. I attend a yin class in which poses are held for an extended time; bliss always gives an assist!
See, I told you yoga would manifest somehow! So happy for your clear skies and calm seas. |
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BlueRaincoat
United Kingdom
1734 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2015 : 05:35:30 AM
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Hello Sunyata
quote:
Originally posted by sunyata
The joy is when my inner state reflects in my day to day life. This is when I’m one with the creation.
So wonderful and so exciting! Isn't this the most worthwile journey a human being can possibly take?
All the best on your journey |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2015 : 09:15:15 AM
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Thank you for the reminder, Christi Trying to do lots of grounding. Just incase I think I'm too ahead-My two little ones keeps my "ego" and my "spiritual ego" in check. Two gurus running around the house
Bodhi- That's going to be my new mantra
Dogboy- Yes! Yes! you were right
BlueRaincoat- Indeed! Feels like my questions (What's the purpose of this life?, Why was everything created? Who created it?) ever since I was born/can remember has been answered. It's very sweet-I can almost taste it!
Sunyata |
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2015 : 5:18:30 PM
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Hello Sunyata
I was going through the Carson's link and it is so true for me as well. So now a days i don't do any formal practice just sit and let things happen. As he said mind is trying to fix something whereas there is nothing to fix and meditation goes on throughout the day. I think for the over sensitive meditators that is a good practice as it has benifitted me as well.
All the best
PKJ |
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sunyata
USA
1513 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2015 : 9:27:13 PM
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Hi PKJ,
Yes, for sensitive meditators breath meditation or just sitting seems to work the best. I have to work on purifying this body first through asanas, following yamas/niyamas , service and being friends with my ego before I can progress further. I went through transcendence for months, then came spiritual bypassing.
I have to train my mind and face every emotion that arises. This is what the recent overload revealed needs to be done for a smoother journey.
I have started letting the emotion rise- this makes me go into bliss just communicating with people. I think this is obstructions dissolving. Somedays the body feels like a vacuum and all the emotions pass through it. 5 minutes of breath meditation is just enough time for me to dip into that ocean of stillness and work with my ego. I'm sure I'll be able to do more in the future but right now I'm savoring every moment. Each moment is filled with delight. Good Luck to you as well. I'm sure you know where your obstructions are as the energy usually tells you. Do you know what may be causing the overload or making you sensitive? I would love to hear.
Sunyata
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Edited by - sunyata on Feb 14 2015 9:34:27 PM |
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2 and Half Years of AYP
