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lmaher22

USA
217 Posts

Posted - Dec 15 2014 :  12:48:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
I've cut my meditations way down. The chest and stomach uncomfortably remain. Funny thing is it starts exactly when I begin to meditate and then goes away when I stop? I thought the balloon stomach was bad enough a way back? Perhaps I rushed too fast in the beginning a few years ago when I started. I think I was trying to get somewhere fast. Muddled through all kinds of boredom and fig gits and jarring thoughts.
This last year though has been hell. Not because of meditating but mainly due to so many things and belief systems coming to an end. I suppose all the things I pretended were all right now need attention and in some cases, words to be said.
I'm afraid I threatened, scared, cursed out and swore at a few family and extended family members to a great excess? There's a ton of cheating, lying and skulduggery going on. Money brings out the real person.
Still, it almost seems like I'm boxing myself into a lonely alley by saying things I can never take back? But I cannot let myself be taken advantage of anymore either?
I've always been some kind of sentimental fool also. It's like I tried so hard to get it all right and make sure I did my best for all the people I cared for and now it's nothing but sawdust in my mouth.
I just feel so abnormal. I doubt I can blame any of this on meditation? But did it help or make it worse with awareness?
Silly thoughts. Silly mood swings?
Larry

kumar ul islam

United Kingdom
791 Posts

Posted - Dec 15 2014 :  5:58:16 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
peace and love brother
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Anima

484 Posts

Posted - Dec 15 2014 :  10:18:51 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Dear Larry,

It sounds super tough, and reminds me of my family. In my case, the best remedy has been to disengage almost completely, but I think of my nephews. Please know you are loved!
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BlueRaincoat

United Kingdom
1734 Posts

Posted - Dec 16 2014 :  09:12:33 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Dear Larry
I'm very sorry to hear you've been going through a rough patch.

The “balloon stomach” is a stage of the process. Many people practising yoga report this symptom. It shows that you are making progress. You may want to review Lesson 51, Yogani's answer to a question on this issue.
Is the chest issue the same as you described in an earlier posts - heart pounding during meditation?

Sounds like you are dealing with some very difficult relationships. I'm guessing the difficulties have been building over the years. I know this is easier said than done, but try to find a way of being kind to yourself and to others when solving disagreements. It may not always be possible, but it's worth keeping in mind.

I hope the awareness brought about by meditation will be a help to you.
Best wishes
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Bodhi Tree

2972 Posts

Posted - Dec 16 2014 :  09:54:14 AM  Show Profile  Visit Bodhi Tree's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Wishing you the best and hoping things smooth out for you. Sounds like you would benefit from some grounding activities and perhaps reaching beyond your normal circle. Diversity is the spice of life.
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joseph

117 Posts

Posted - Dec 16 2014 :  6:51:37 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I've had success in treating the balloon stomach thing with the Alexander Technique (but also alongside the AYP practices - they compliment each other). Check it out.
This is about the best introduction to it I've found online:

http://www.clarity-of-being.org/alextech.htm

Best
Joseph
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lmaher22

USA
217 Posts

Posted - Dec 25 2014 :  10:11:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you all very much. Waking up in life seems to be very very unpleasant. Also, one can't be sure if you're really awakening or just switching to another dream or delusion?
I'd like to say I give up but I know that's a dumb thing to even imagine as, how can one give up and still be holding on to something?
What a ridiculous person I seem to be at times?
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kensbikes100

USA
192 Posts

Posted - Dec 31 2014 :  9:22:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
lmaher22,

Meditation (both DM and TM) has helped me remain calm and even-tempered, as have more intensive asana, exercise, vitamins, and a few practical tricks. Plus aging!

Among the most effective practical tricks: remember you don't have to answer all questions, or share your opinion when you do give an answer. Sometimes we "pump up" difficulties by offering everything we feel, when the person on the other end does not need all that information.

Remembering this has helped me remain a little more in control of myself when difficult discussions come up.

Another one is not to give my opinion as if it is fact. it's actually a bit of yogic humility, not to think that all that I think is worthy of others' consideration.

But as one who also has an argumentative family, perhaps these words will help you.

-- Ken
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