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Kyman
530 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 15 2006 : 11:18:42 PM
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I imagine in this forum I am keeping company with some very soulful individuals. Maybe more of the introverted type, maybe not. I suppose that depends on what phase you are in, on your particular path.
I seem to suffer with bouts of low energy, where I don't leave my home to do much. Nothing leaving causes great lonliness. Then the lonliness fuels the low energy.
Spirit is not lonely, but I know my soul needs oneness with the world. "My brothers are my salvation", but how can I nudge the universe in that direction.
It gets really hard at times.
And a pre-emptive thanks, for any replies. |
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Katrine
Norway
1813 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 06:10:42 AM
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Hi Kyman
quote:
I seem to suffer with bouts of low energy, where I don't leave my home to do much. Nothing leaving causes great lonliness. Then the lonliness fuels the low energy.
Has it crossed your mind that the low energy might be triggered by resisting the loneliness? That you spend energy saying "no" to feeling lonely?
Also - during the process of purification that we are all experiencing, "difficult moods" may be a sign to self-pace when it comes to your spiritual practise.
quote:
Spirit is not lonely, but I know my soul needs oneness with the world. "My brothers are my salvation", but how can I nudge the universe in that direction.
Kyman - your soul is oneness. It is not your brothers that are your salvation. You are that. This is what "the universe" is nudging your mind towards. To be still - so that you can know this oneness that you are.
quote:
It gets really hard at times.
It is hard because Life doesn't concur with our ideas of how it should be. When you experience loneliness - you have an idea that this is not as it should be. But the loneliness - once accepted and dived into (without thought) - will reveal itself to you as just a door into a deeper layer in you. Nothing "out there" can give you the truth of how deep you really are. If loneliness is what it takes to bring you in contact with your true self - then this is not "a mistake".
I do not mean to indulge in loneliness. Simply - when it is there - accept it. Don't fight it. Don't tell a story about it. Be still, and let it run its turn. If you can do that (which is basically to not do anything  ) - then you will see that you are not this feeling. Loneliness arises in you. It dies down in you. |
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Alvin Chan
Hong Kong
407 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 11:03:38 AM
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quote:
I seem to suffer with bouts of low energy, where I don't leave my home to do much. Nothing leaving causes great lonliness. Then the lonliness fuels the low energy.
I am experiencing something similar, on and off.
I tried to feel the loneliness. It shrinks. So, Katrine, I am more capable of stopping that uttering in my mind that once broke my heart again and again. But the low energy remains. It's not a physical weakness, as I am rather good at my hatha yoga or any physical sports when I do it. It's more a voidness in my life. I lost my drive for life.
Throughout my life, I always rely on some plans, some dreams that drove me forward. And when I realize the dreams aren't what I really want but only an illusion that I (and those around me) created for myself; when I realize that I have lost the precious life that could have been invested in something more meaningful, I lost my hope. I lost my vision for a better life. I still have some plans, but I no longer feel excited about them.
I do not have a goal, a mission, a meaning for my life....until the past 2 years or so, I always had some to drive me forward. I might not be very happy then, but I was looking for one. And the believe that there would be a better life had made life easier. Now, no more such believe.
I learnt more, but the truth was first a bitter one, now a neutral one, with the lingering bitter taste. I find that life is at most neutral, not sweet like I once believed it to be; and I once tasted for a while.
My god, life will be neutral. My life is filled with voidness, covered by this and that duties that I have to do, not I want to do. It's the short-term goal, like feeding myself, that drive me; not the great plans (or illusions??). Life is paralyzing, not entertaining.
Can anyone shade some light on the "meaning of life", other than the "surrender to God" things which encompass everything but don't really say anything constructive?
Alvin |
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Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 11:28:39 AM
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| Feelings arise. Don't hold onto them, thinking you are at a certain stage. They are only feelings and they go away. I don't suggest that if you feel something, you FEEL it as a practice of trying to get rid of it. Just know that it isn't who you are. Not that doing that will make it go away. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 12:05:33 PM
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Hi Kymam and Alvin,
I have been going through this phase too. Loneliness, longing, emptiness.. all of this is a part of this path.... Yogani has put it very well here in this thread... go down to the 4th or 5th post on the 2nd page.
One thing I have seen... generally an intense feeling of loneliness and emptiness is followed by an opening... a very beautiful opening... generally it is some karma or blockage trying to get out... give it a little time... you will see the change.. Like Scott said, it is a phase.. it will go away.. it is not who you are... just hang in there...
Willing to experience aloneness
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yogani
USA
5201 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 12:23:52 PM
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Hi Alvin and all:
After a long, arduous and not always happy journey, the meaning of life as I have come to understand it is to help others as best we can, without expecting a particular outcome or payback.
That comes in a thousand forms and degrees. We will know we are heading into the right form for us if we feel good about what we are doing. It is a process of optimizing cause and effect. It is also called coming into our dharma.
For each of us it is about identifying what we are really good at (everyone is good at something) and finding ways to bring benefit to others with our gift, whatever it may be. If we do that with all our heart, the rest will take care of itself.
Spiritual practices will naturally take us in the direction of our dharma. It may not be what we were expecting or planning on, so there can be plenty of grinding of the gears along the way -- it can feel like loneliness as our illusions about life are dissolving. Becoming empty can be unnerving, for sure. But somewhere along the line the impulse to move will come from within, and we can choose to go with it.
In the end, surrendering to what is within us will yield lasting happiness. That is because the flow of life comes first from within. As we learn to let it animate our actions in a creative expression of helping others, loneliness and troubles will gradually give way to an inherent joy. It can happen in the same surroundings we have always been in.
Inner stillness is the foundation of the entire process.
The guru is in you.
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snake
United Kingdom
277 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 2:13:29 PM
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Kyman
I had a time ,not too long when I lost direction so to speak and it culminated one night when I was meditating with the most intense feeling of sorrow and hopelessness imaginable,I felt I was feeling the whole worlds sorrow and hurt and I just sobbed and sobbed and prayed to God and it's funny because now it seems such a dim memory but the next morning I felt wonderfull and the feeling of wellbeing has remained.
I wonder if going as deep as you can into the root of the feeling maybe will initiate a similar response in yourself.
I Pray that it resolves itself for you. |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 2:55:28 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Katrine
Hi Kyman
quote:
I seem to suffer with bouts of low energy, where I don't leave my home to do much. Nothing leaving causes great lonliness. Then the lonliness fuels the low energy.
Has it crossed your mind that the low energy might be triggered by resisting the loneliness? That you spend energy saying "no" to feeling lonely?
Also - during the process of purification that we are all experiencing, "difficult moods" may be a sign to self-pace when it comes to your spiritual practise.
quote:
Spirit is not lonely, but I know my soul needs oneness with the world. "My brothers are my salvation", but how can I nudge the universe in that direction.
Kyman - your soul is oneness. It is not your brothers that are your salvation. You are that. This is what "the universe" is nudging your mind towards. To be still - so that you can know this oneness that you are.
quote:
It gets really hard at times.
It is hard because Life doesn't concur with our ideas of how it should be. When you experience loneliness - you have an idea that this is not as it should be. But the loneliness - once accepted and dived into (without thought) - will reveal itself to you as just a door into a deeper layer in you. Nothing "out there" can give you the truth of how deep you really are. If loneliness is what it takes to bring you in contact with your true self - then this is not "a mistake".
I do not mean to indulge in loneliness. Simply - when it is there - accept it. Don't fight it. Don't tell a story about it. Be still, and let it run its turn. If you can do that (which is basically to not do anything ) - then you will see that you are not this feeling. Loneliness arises in you. It dies down in you.
What an elequent reply, thank you.
I think I do well in that regard, so well in fact that most of the time people aren't aware of my inner struggle. I've learned, or unlearned about oneness long ago, so I try to to make my issues someone else's issue. But I just can't inflict this isolation on myself.
I'm a very positive individual who always trys to move with the greater will, but I resign to solitude.
I am oneness, but my soul's function is further from the extreme here. I've been introverted most of my life, and found sanctuary in my aloneness. But the aloneness takes its toll. My soul moving outward, and I am having trouble breaking my life long pattern.
Do you have any advice on how to break the pattern? I am with you in regards to oneness, lonliness, perspective, and I would like to take our mutual understanding into the world. |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 2:58:33 PM
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I agree yogani.
So often lately I have thoughts of how much easier life would be if I had no life, no things, nothing staking me into an identity. To be free of being an owner, so that I may bask in the joy of being the giver.
I can see how the saints did it. Most of us see it as really hard, but they know the secret. They know how much easier it is to be a servant. There is no winning and losing in that state of unconditional love. |
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Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 4:16:34 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kyman
I can see how the saints did it. Most of us see it as really hard, but they know the secret. They know how much easier it is to be a servant. There is no winning and losing in that state of unconditional love.
Well put, Zack. Priests and nuns and monks must secretly laugh and nudge each other when we feel sorry for them. I think loneliness is the gateway to emptiness.  |
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ranger
USA
45 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 5:44:15 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Alvin Chan
Throughout my life, I always rely on some plans, some dreams that drove me forward. And when I realize the dreams aren't what I really want but only an illusion that I (and those around me) created for myself; when I realize that I have lost the precious life that could have been invested in something more meaningful, I lost my hope. I lost my vision for a better life. I still have some plans, but I no longer feel excited about them.
I do not have a goal, a mission, a meaning for my life....until the past 2 years or so, I always had some to drive me forward. I might not be very happy then, but I was looking for one. And the believe that there would be a better life had made life easier. Now, no more such believe.
A long time ago I completed an MA in psychology and put in about 1000 hours as an intern, counseling children and familes at a school district counseling center.
One of the most tempting and yet most useless things to do was to try to fix people. To offer advice, personal history, suggestions. Didn't really do anyone any good. Strangely enough, often the most helpful thing I could do was simply listen.
What you're describing parallels some of my own recent experience, and mostly all the "spiritual wisdom," I've collected over the years seems pretty threadbare.
Most useful thing I can to is paraphrase the old psychology cliche as "I hear you bro!" and offer the wisdom of a great old Hoyt Axton song (Bony Fingers), namely "Maybe things'll get a little better in the morning, maybe things'll get a little better." |
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Hairkhan
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 6:09:33 PM
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Kyman,
Many feel the way that you do -- just look at the responses.
Many great souls have said that solitude is the price of greatness. Indeed, Yoganandaji said "seclusion is the price of greatness." This solitude/seclusion need not imply lack of physical proximity to others.
When we set our sights on lofty goals, there can seem a dearth of like-minded seekers.
I sometimes wonder if aspirants are aware of the tremendous courage they possess. Most in the world are very busy in seeking after sense-pleasures. On the surface, they seem to be the happy ones. But all indeed suffer in silence as these pursuits, having a beginning and and ending, are empty, fleeting and thus pain disguised as pleasure/happiness. But those who are wise keep in mind that death is keeping a close watch over the lives of all beings, and thus make haste to practice well and escape the reincarnational round. To have the courage (and wisdom) to seek the higher path places you in rare but precious company.
Please be careful and seek good company. And although difficult, solitude is preferable to bad company -- let spiritual books and your own good samskaras be your company at such times.
Are there spiritual groups in your community that you can join with like-minded spiritual seekers? Yogani's comment about the purpose of life being to help others is important...perhaps you could volunteer in your community in the spirit of karma yoga. This can be very fulfilling and rewarding (Just don't seek the reward!) : )
God bless you and please understand that although you may not always feel it, you are being guided. |
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Kyman
530 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 9:40:16 PM
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Thank you meg and hairkhan, I appriciate your words.
Yes, I am involved with study groups of various sorts, some affiliated with the Edgcar Cayce ARE.
My problem is habit, routine, repitition. I'm trying to learn how to break out of that. Joining groups seems to be the best route, but my mind so easily resigns to aloneness.
In letters to a young poet, rilke talks about aloneness, how it is a gift. I wouldn't change anything, because I embrace who I am. But I do feel that venturing out into the world is a part of what my soul is here to do.
Having everyone's opinion here is very much appriciated. Thanks. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2006 : 10:25:05 PM
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Everyone has offered the best suggestions. To get rid of loniliness you can give your attention to people who are lonely. Maybe old folks in a home, or orphan kids. . .
Remember God is with you by talking to him/her during your daily activities. Talk to him as if he is a friend on an equal level with you.
God gives you signs of what your purpose is in life. He presents you with work that you are capable of doing. People don't want to do that work because their ego thinks something else will make them happy.
But then they become despondent because the things their ego wants doesn't make them happy.
Sometimes I like to step aside from my ego, and tell it "obviously you don't know how to make me happy. I've given you hundreds of chances whenever I've had free time. So I'm going to try something else."
Then I purposely do something different than what I think I like with my free time. Doesn't matter much what it is; something God has presented to you, or just something you wouldn't think you would like.
You will come to the conclusion that your ego doesn't have a clue about what's really going on! |
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LittleDragon
29 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2006 : 12:40:16 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kyman
But I do feel that venturing out into the world is a part of what my soul is here to do.
That makes me see the following quote in a new light (emphasis added)
"Be IN the world, but not of it."
Traditional spiritualality is mainly bent on transending the world, even denying it any form of reality. All energy is turned inward and upward, away from the world. Maybe that's what some desire but it does make it hard to continue to function in the world, and like Kyman, I, and perhaps many of you, think we should also do something more. That we should somehow be a channel for the Immanent, downward and outward movement of Spirit.
But how? How do you transend the world and still be IN the world? What are the actual practices?
Samyama would be one. Some others have been mentioned here. But wouldn't it be nice if we had a wide and varied list of useful practices, AYP style, for engaging the world from a Spiritual perspective?
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weaver
832 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2006 : 01:17:08 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by LittleDragon
But how? How do you transend the world and still be IN the world? What are the actual practices?
Hi LittleDragon,
This is a very important question in life. From my perspective AYP deep meditation is all one needs to become this. Of course all other yoga practices will also work. I find it happens automatically that, as inner silence becomes more prevalent, that it becomes more enjoyable to interact with others (being IN the world), but with less attachment and participation in the actual energies (being OF the world) where many interactions happen, of greed, anxiety, trying to appear sophisticated etc. This less attachment makes one see more genuinity in human (and other) interactions, and they can be more relaxed and deeper when there is less tie up of oneself in the energies. At least this is my experience, it would be interesting to hear more comments on this. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2006 : 12:46:38 AM
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Yes it has to do with attachment. If you perform to the best of your ability the tasks that are presented to you, but don't get very much involved with the emotional roller coaster of their outcome, then you are not of the world.
In simpler words, continue your meditation practices and feed the fire of your bhakti. When things go really well in your life, react about the same as you do when they go very poorly. That way you invest yourself in your practices, not the world. |
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Lonliness
