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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 19 2014 : 11:19:15 PM
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I am so glad that Kami shared her beautiful experience with tantra. She has presented the philosophy from a holistic spiritual perspective, especially with regard to the Divine Feminine. I have felt for a while that this perspective has been largely missing from this thread. The discussion has been mostly dominated by men asking other men technical questions about how to withhold ejaculation, maintaining an erection, nocturnal emissions, what to do about obsessions with masturbation or porn, etc. And there’s nothing wrong with that – we are certainly not prudes here. However, it’s not “tantric yoga,” which is what this topic was supposed to be about! So, encouraged by Kami’s thoughtful contribution, I would also like to share from my own experience with tantra.
For many, many years I was involved with Self-Realization Fellowship, a decidedly NON-tantric school which upholds the gnostic dualism which has affected (or infected!) the spiritual traditions of East and West, namely, “Spirit is good, flesh is bad.” The SRF Lessons often warned against sexual thoughts/feelings, and even stated specifically that the ONLY purpose of sex is to make babies; even married couples were advised to abstain from sex unless they were trying to conceive, and while doing so, to “avoid sensual pleasure and think only of the child!” I thought this was quite odd, having always had the intuitive feeling that sex was sacred. I don’t mean to disparage SRF; it is a very good school, and its view on sexuality is shared by most mainstream yoga traditions. I found this also with the Hare Krishnas and all other groups that I studied with until I discovered Heart of Yoga and AYP both a few years ago.
Meanwhile, the older graduate student from whom I learned tantric yoga in college had studied in Tibet; I do not know the name of the tradition or of his teacher. In addition to sexual techniques, he taught me mantra and yantra meditation, using sound and color in the yoga practice. We also studied the Book of the Dead, and we did some meditations on corpses and such, a left-hand practice which I always took as allegorical, although I’m told there are groups who literally do rituals in graveyards. The idea was to become aware of the ephemeral nature of the flesh; we were to cherish the body/ senses in service to the spirit, but not to be attached to it. I fell in love; he said “relationships are bad because of attachment.” He broke my heart but it was a great education. Anyway -
The basic premise of the non-tantric traditions is that God is the only Reality and that the material world is an illusion, a trap from which we must escape by means of austerities, in order to “become spiritual” or “get to God.” Therefore the body/sexuality is despised, or at best, something to be used in order to transcend the world. IMO this gnostic duality is unhealthy and can lead to physical, psychosocial and spiritual dysfunction. But, to each their own.
What I love about the tantric approach of the rare schools like HOY and AYP is that they weave together our entire human experience into the tapestry of yoga. As my teacher explains it, yes, God is the only Reality – but the creation is God’s manifestation, and therefore not to be despised! Every breath is an offering to God – Who is, as Krishna tells us, both the only Enjoyer, and That which is enjoyed. The taste of food, of wine, the sound of music and chanting, the colors of the sunset, a flower, or a beautiful painting by Shanti, the kiss of the sun on our skin, the caress of the breeze in our hair, the joy of our body doing asana, swimming in the ocean, dancing, all our sensual experiences become an offering and part of our yoga practice. Yes, including sex!
Not just with a partner, but also in tantric celibacy, which I practiced for 14 years, and it was ecstatic. Note, this is not the kind of celibacy where you try to stamp out your sexuality, but rather offer it up in sitting yoga practices, like AYP teaches. Shiva and Shakti, Krishna and Radha, are within each of us, and their union is the soul’s union with God. Ordinary sex pales in comparison. If we are fortunate enough to have a partner, our spouse is literally God’s Love for us in the flesh, which I now share with my husband. What a wonderful blessing that is! So sexuality in the tantric yoga tradition is treated with gratitude, joy and reverence, and best within a committed relationship or at the very least, a good friendship with mutual respect, because a high level of trust is necessary to get the most benefit from the practice. That’s my perspective, FWIW.
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2014 : 10:00:37 AM
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Thats a great post Rad, particularly for the people new to tantra.
I'll mention this again, I think we should change the name of this forum. It perpetuates stereotypes and conflates tantra and sex. |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2014 : 11:24:30 AM
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Thank you for the beautiful post Radharani.  
TTN: the name has been changed already to "Tantra - A Holistic View of Spiritual Development" 
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yogani
USA
5201 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2014 : 11:47:55 AM
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Hi Radharani:
Wonderful post. Thank you.
Hi TNN:
Actually, the name of this forum section was changed recently from "Tantra - Sex and Spiritual Development" to "Tantra - A Holistic View of Spiritual Development."
Also, the tantra forum introduction was edited to better reflect the balanced approach to tantra that AYP has always recommended.
The issue has been that the tantra forum has often been used for addressing sexual challenges not directly related to yoga. Many such inquiries have come in the form of requests for help, and we have tried to accommodate, sometimes at the expense of a more balanced discussion on tantra. So, as has often been the case, tantra has been regarded by many here to be only about sex, which is not true. We who moderate the forum have helped perpetuate this false view by placing all sexually related inquiries in the tantra forum, and have been open in accepting inquiries on sex that in many cases have little if anything to do with yoga.
Another shortcoming in the tantra forum category has been the fact that there have few who have posted on the full scope of tantra, further creating the impression that tantra is only about sex, which is clearly not the case.
So we have broadened the title of the forum, edited its introduction, and a few have recently offered excellent posts on the full scope of tantra. Thank you to all who have offered a broader view.
We need more of that if we want to move toward a more balanced discussion on tantra. Those who moderate the forums are going to be more careful about approving posts on sexuality that are not related to spiritual development.
It is a start. If we all work together, we can make the tantra forum more representative of what tantra really is, and a better resource for all.
Thanks!
The guru is in you.
PS: Kami, we crossed posts. Your recently revived topic on tantra is beautiful.
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Mar 20 2014 : 3:05:22 PM
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Thank you Kami and Yogani.. I'm oblivious a lot of the time, but getting better.
I think the name change is a wonderful idea. Moving forward, newcomers will have the opportunity to experience the fullness of tantra. We as the community can make a big difference here by contributing to the new forum.
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Sexuality in Yoga
