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tamasaburo
USA
136 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 19 2014 : 6:44:40 PM
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Hi, I guess this might go in "restraints and observances," though it's not just about fasting, so I'm posting it here for now.
Over the past several months I've had a lot of severe ups and downs. I had a big problem with anxiety due to an herb I took several months ago, then had what seemed like a big improvement, along with a big surge in kundalini-type pleasure as a result of a vitamin I took a few months ago, but that ended up causing circulatory problems like high blood pressure, palpitations and eye problems, so I got off all supplements.
Lately I'd been trying fasting as a way to sort of "reset" my system and hopefully heal some old injuries, etc. I did two five-day fasts on water only in the past month and seemed to have some really good results--besides weight loss, I felt a lot more clarity, and especially a lot more of what seemed like "inner silence"--a greater ability to "observe" myself and when and how I was getting tense and upset, maybe even a bit more "witnessing" consciousness. I also noticed an improvement in my sleep, which is a perennial problem for me.
So--so far so good, right? But the weird thing is, lately, I've noticed a drop in the pleasure I feel both in meditation/pranayama, and also during worldly activities like eating and sex. One thing I'd noticed--and enjoyed, I won't deny--was that prior to the fasting, despite all my problems, I had been going through a period (gradually building over a few years of practice) of experiencing intense pleasure during sex, eating, and other sensory experiences. These experiences, and sex/tantric masturbation in particular had almost reached a fever pitch (though contributed less to my general "enlightenment" and well-being than I would have liked or hoped in daily life) a month or so before I began the fasting.
Now, I feel exactly the opposite. I feel detached and better able to observe my pain and tension, but I also feel detached from my pleasure. It's like there is still pleasure, but I'm just watching it happen on the sidelines, not fully experiencing it. Is this a type of anhedonia or depression I've developed, or is it a normal part of the development of "witnessing" consciousness?
As we develop the ability to treat our thoughts and feelings as "objects," must we also become less wrapped up in our pleasures? I mean, I'm happy with the idea of being less addicted to worldly pleasures--I'm happy that I CAN go without food or sex if I want to, but I'm not happy that it seems the pleasure I take in these has strangely diminished, like I'm not really experiencing the pleasure at all.
I feel in a big quandary, because I'd like to try more fasting, maybe even for longer periods, as I experienced a lot of benefits, but I don't want to make myself numb to the pleasures of life at the same time as I build up my resistance to hunger. |
Edited by - tamasaburo on Mar 22 2014 10:42:22 AM |
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tamasaburo
USA
136 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2014 : 10:44:54 AM
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Has anyone noticed anything like this? It totally runs counter to my initial expectations about fasting, in that shorter fasts always increased ecstatic conductivity.
The fasts seemed to improve everything: lowered blood pressure, getting better sleep, some old injuries felt better, fewer mood swings (which I'm prone to)...
EXCEPT it's like my kundalini/ecstatic conductivity has dropped to ZERO. Doing kechari mudra and sambhavi, which normally feel quasi-orgasmic and intense, feel like nothing but sticking my tongue in my nose and crossing my eyes. Sex feels completely uninteresting, as does eating. What on earth is this? Do I have a vitamin deficiency? Fasting-induced depression? Part of the healing process from too long overdoing pranayama? I've been eating again now for 10+ days and no change. I'm pretty worried. |
Edited by - tamasaburo on Mar 22 2014 10:57:52 AM |
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adishivayogi
USA
197 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2014 : 11:42:16 AM
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| no need to worry, continue with practices. it is a process, with many stages along the way. i worried about stupid things at one point. the more focus you give it the more you're hurting your practises and their efficiency. just make sure you're performing the techniques right. if you do ayp spinal breathing id be damn sure the energy is not coming out of your mouth and traveling up your face as i fear it does with many aypers(beginners may not feel it, big reason i dont favor ayp spinal breathing). its important to not expect results. union is the constraining of thought streams(according to patanjli) so be in union. you thinking about all this is pulling you away from that |
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Dogboy
USA
2242 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2014 : 1:26:31 PM
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Adishivayogi's advice seems like a good plan for the present, relax, observe and continue. I have only fasted thus far for medical procedures, but understand it is one of the best vehicles for purification. Perhaps hold off future fasts for now. Arousal is certainly important to my current practice, both as a benefit and technique, and I strongly empathize with your dillema. As you are not being harmed, just frustrated, keep on plugging and remain open. Good luck and report back!
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inquirer
13 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2014 : 3:03:35 PM
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@adishivayogi What do you mean by energy coming out through mouth? Why do you feel it's improper/dangerous?
During practices I my mouth twists in different directions frequently, the tongue is sticked out to all sides (probably as a natural excercise to improve kechari) and sometimes I feel the enrgy going from root to ajna externally, not internally.
Do you see any problems here? Thanks. |
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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
Posted - May 05 2014 : 10:04:46 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by adishivayogi
no need to worry, continue with practices. it is a process, with many stages along the way. i worried about stupid things at one point. the more focus you give it the more you're hurting your practises and their efficiency. just make sure you're performing the techniques right. if you do ayp spinal breathing id be damn sure the energy is not coming out of your mouth and traveling up your face as i fear it does with many aypers(beginners may not feel it, big reason i dont favor ayp spinal breathing). its important to not expect results. union is the constraining of thought streams(according to patanjli) so be in union. you thinking about all this is pulling you away from that
Agree 100%. Thinking about your practices is a sure way of creating problems for yourself, often made up. Just make sure you are doing everything correct mechanically and let go of the rest. |
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Fasting Killed my Kundalini?
