|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
seek123
India
12 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 15 2014 : 7:27:36 PM
|
Inputs from other yogis on this forum are also requested.
Before I started any practice/s - This is crazy  I decided against hardcore Gyan path because I felt I will end up stone faced, joyless, exhausted, chartered analyst, who may or may not register any progress in the lifetime left. Karma, good or bad, either way, will bring one back. Hath is a big risk without a teacher . . . you see, besides aching joints, just the thought of nadis getting tangled because of wrong pranayam is so frightening. So I chose a combination that was joyful throughout, largely the path of growing love (you don’t have to do anything, just keep nagging God for good. That suits our Indian attitude so well, how nice!), throw in a pinch of other paths too for flavour.
Story so far: I started with name repetition with continuous but conscious remembrance of God in October 2012. I meditated everyday whenever I felt like, no SBP, no DM, no Samayam, and nothing else, not very regular nor disciplined. By April, 2013, I was buzzing inside with electricity, till on June 23rd, I had a brief (and say), aborted Kundalini experience. All buzzing stopped that day. In my story, you must remember that I always had that child(ish?) kind of eager, obsessive impatience for kundalini awakening but it has only recently ceased to be so anymore.
On July 7th, 2013, when I was waking up from sleep in the morning (or may be this experience woke me up), I was still lying down on my left side when 4 columns of roaring sound arose from base of spine to the head. Since I was lying down, the perspective would be horizontal if seen from outside the body. It grew louder and louder, my ears nearly clogged, and I felt a lot of strong pleasing pressure of currents rise in my spine together within 4 columns along the sides of my spine.
A thought occurred - I am lying down here, head not in line with spine. If my kundalini rises now, it may not be be right and may lead to trouble, and that I should sit down first. With these thoughts, the sound subsided, pressure eased leaving a little buzz within. I was happy and confident, thanking God as it all now seemed within grasp. But alas, when I later attempted meditation sitting down, nothing happened. Two days later, I was kicking myself for being analytical but left it all to God.
Once again on January 10th, 2014, a similar experience happened on waking up in the morning but it was milder this time. There were many thin columns in and around spine in which pran was rising, with sound. This time I carefully attempted to just align my body, with minimum effort, ensuring that I do not disturb the holy wave but with that effort, the sound and the pressure subsided again. However, the bottom-line remained, Kundalini status = Not awakened.
I was unhappy with God. This was sort of disappointing. I had to stand up for myself I thought. I asked God seriously, I mean really seriously - Is something wrong with me or with You ! I promptly got the reply – you. So, I got to know that I was the one on the wrong foot, now on backfoot too. OK big man, I prayed for another chance. Mild rocking began that day, off and on, throughout the day and has continued thereafter. Also, some pain in left hinge of my jaw started which I never bothered about.
On January 17th, morning hours, the uprising began again, and guess what, I was lying down on my side this time too. This instance, I did not budge an inch and just focused my mind to allow things to happen. This was even milder than a week back but despite my focus, the rising pranic current eased down. I checked my kundalini and found it still asleep. It was like back to square one.
I complained again that this time there was no anxiety, no analysis, no fickleness, no body movement, no reference to experience but still nothing. It was now getting difficult to accept. I heard an inner voice “Just enjoy”. That was a stunning moment – What was there to enjoy in that! I mean just look at Him, things keep slipping out of my hand, the status remains status quo, and the gentleman wants me to Enjoy that ! (The rocking continued as before, only that it became a little pronounced, jaw pain continued as before).
Then on March 10th, yet again I was woken up (lying on my right side) by strong rising column of pranic currents, straight up along spine to my head. I felt that the entire column was transparentish, flat cluster of strings, about 4 inches wide, spine included in its middle, of several threads or channels stretched from bottom of the spine upto my neck but the currents continued unabated till top of my head. This experience was bigger than previous two.
This time, the sound and the buzz were both very intense. I focused all my attention on Krishna and held it without much wavering. The experience continued a little and then I felt this time it will happen, and the whole thing slowly faded . . . . Kundalini? As usual, no brainer, still not awakened.
I felt like a soccer player in a match - with not even a single player in the opposition team, not even the goal keeper - and I score a self goal for a 4th time ! This time, I quizzed God upfront – Something goes wrong, and I am the one responsible. Everytime. Why? In fact, why does it have to go wrong at all? Aren’t You competent enough? (sounds quite like spouse arguing spouse) but I conveyed that I meant business and it is He who had to deliver, not me. He could play His games after we are through with the main stuff. Pain in my jaw vanished and a thought hit me inside – is something really going wrong ? you are getting ready, isn’t that right?
After a long gap, I now reached for the AYP forum. The post I opened read about a lady who described her experience doubting whether it was Kundalini or otherwise. Reading the post, I felt it was not Kundalini but the AYP yogi in the next comment confirmed it to be Kundalini. I strongly felt otherwise. The next yogi in subsequent comments too declared it as Kundalini but I was unconvinced. Reading further, I found a post saying that it was not Kundalini. That resonated. As I went further, I read about a new phenomenon – Pranotthan (Pran-Utthan = the upward rising of pran). I had never known of this concept before but now, I could relate to it. Afterall, those were some of the best experiences I had so far, and not one but 4 times.
I had following thoughts and questions which I request Yogani Sir to answer –
1) I do not find any mention of Pranotthan in the AYP text (apologies if I missed it, please help me locate that). I also was surprised how AYP yogis interpreted the above experience wrongly (just my personal opinion, and I do not mean in any disrespectful way to AYP yogis but actually in a complementing way). I reasoned to myself, could it be because of SBP that AYP yogis do not experience this step, may be established SBP makes Pranotthan redundant and it is perhaps by-passed. Could this be the reason why there are no such experiences reported among AYP practitioners (apologies again if I missed them). Extending this logic, I experienced Pranotthan because I have not done SBP. The lady from the other forum too did not practice anything like it, as I gather.
2) Can you help me understand what might be happening under the hood wrt Pranotthan (together with Question 5)? It definitely means a certain degree of purity and some stage of readiness but more elaborately what? Any description/analysis for clearer/deeper understanding, given the variables involved (e.g. as in Question 5) ?
3) Is posture of any importance (in my case, so far, always early morning, lying down)? Why/How?
4) The rocking inside the body over the period since January has been happening randomly, unpredictably and variably (from say 10-15 times per day to more than 45-50 times a day, sometimes in succession) but has reduced with pacing. Sometimes the rock used to be so hard that I went blank and froze for a second. It definitely was overload, but can there also be a contributory/supplementary effect apart from overload (however small) related to Pranotthan but not in the nature of overload ?
5) Also, in July, 2013, I experienced 4 columns of sound (not on a flat plane but in 3D, like 4 minarets of a mosque around the spine). Recently, I felt several parallel strings/channels forming a flat column 4 inches broad, along the spine. It was varying kinds and types of columns during other experiences but never more than 4 inches wide. How can these variations be understood ?
6) Is there a way to know if (at all) each subsequent experience was progressively better than the previous one, not in intensity etc manner, but quality of impact and growth wise ?
I will be grateful for shared ideas and technical inputs. |
|
|
yogani
USA
5242 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2014 : 10:00:34 AM
|
Hi Seek123:
See Lesson 120 on "Getting Enlightenment": http://aypsite.org/120.html
This also applies to "Getting Kundalini."
I would add that symptoms of kundalini are not ends in themselves. They are symptoms of purification and opening leading to a merging of inner silence and ecstasy, which manifests as a unifying divine flow in daily living. So the suggestion is to be consistent in daily practice and go out and live your life fully. The results will be there. Your engagement in the world is the true field of integration, and measure of your spiritual progress.
Kundalini is not a trophy we can hang on our wall, not a negotiation we can have with God. It is the dynamic aspect of the rise of "stillness in action" in daily living, which we experience as increasing peace, energy and creativity, and the rise of service to others. That is what kundalini is. The same is true of all energetic experiences along the way, whether they be called "pranotthan," or anything else. The names are not important. Moving on is.
So the suggestion is to enjoy the scenery, but not get too caught up in it. There are far greater things to come. It is consistent daily practice that will take us there, not clinging to experiences we may see along the way.
All the best!
The guru is in you.
|
 |
|
|
Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Mar 16 2014 : 12:20:34 PM
|
Welcome Seek123,
I am nobody important, but I just want to add my thoughts:
You may have read the main lessons in the link at the top of this page, or Yogani's books at the side of the page.
Meditation helps to calm the mind that tries to analyze everything, which is not possible.
It doesn't help to try and understand exactly what is going on with your experiences.
Each answer will come from God when you are ready, without trying.
Your experiences will not happen in a progression, getting better all the time. We just have to have faith that God knows what is best for us, and continue meditating, forgetting about trying to understand.
The reason is, the mind "understands" by matching new things to memories, and what is happening in meditation doesn't match up to memories, so the mind gets confused, and keeps trying to make it match. |
|
|
|
seek123
India
12 Posts |
Posted - Mar 17 2014 : 2:21:33 PM
|
Thanks for taking time out to respond Yogani Sir and Etherfish.
Chapter 120 was very relevant.
Yogani sir,
quote:
I would add that symptoms of kundalini are not ends in themselves. They are symptoms of purification and opening leading to a merging of inner silence and ecstasy, which manifests as a unifying divine flow in daily living. So the suggestion is to be consistent in daily practice and go out and live your life fully. The results will be there. Your engagement in the world is the true field of integration, and measure of your spiritual progress. quote:
Completely agree. Your suggestion to “be consistent in daily practice” is so practically applicable to me. I have admitted in my post that my practice has been very indisciplined so far. I have to move from being consistently inconsistent to consistently consistent. Hope I will avoid being inconsistently consistent.
quote:
Kundalini is not a trophy we can hang on our wall, not a negotiation we can have with God. quote:
LOL. Have more fun at my cost .
quote:
It is the dynamic aspect of the rise of "stillness in action" in daily living, which we experience as increasing peace, energy and creativity, and the rise of service to others. That is what kundalini is. The same is true of all energetic experiences along the way, whether they be called "pranotthan," or anything else. The names are not important. Moving on is. quote:
Completely agree with the dynamic aspect.
quote:
So the suggestion is to enjoy the scenery, but not get too caught up in it. There are far greater things to come. It is consistent daily practice that will take us there, not clinging to experiences we may see along the way. quote:
Completely agree here too. You have emphasized consistency again and I know what you mean for me.
Just to clarify the perspective, here is the mind with which I published the original post. I meant : Understanding a phenomenon has its own merit. There is no harm in acquiring clarity and understanding of any idea/topic/subject, as long as this understanding does not lead to attachment and/or ego, which will slow one down. E.g. you have given elaborate “technical” understanding wrt Sahasrar meditation and there is great benefit of that understanding. Many who may have been unknowingly experiencing its undesired effects would have corrected themselves. Similarly, pranic currents rising with force and sound too is a phenomenon (whatever terminology suits its description, that’s a non-issue) deserves some fair degree of discussion for clarity. The issue is not “getting kundalini”. That will happen naturally along the way. My point was the technology of various types/kinds of energetic currents as I experienced that I was curious to decode better (could benefit visitors to this site too). E.g I thought after the first experience that 4 columns might have came from the 4 junctions at mooladhar but could not pursue this line of thought to any logical end. Similarly, Is pranotthan bypassed with SBP, etc and so on . . . These are valid and harmless areas that deserve some insight. You have rightly highlighted the dynamic aspect. Apparently you have your own reasons to avoid getting into its technicalities and I respect that. I am grateful to you for 3 very special points you have made to me and these I consider to be of critical importance to me. Thank you again for taking time out for me, referring a relevant chapter and helping me course correct in specific areas.
Etherfish, firstly you are as important as anyone, afterall there is but just one. Feels so good to read your comments and there is so much concern in your words. God bless you  .
My earlier obsession with Kundalini awakening was not for control reasons but because it is a measurable, tangible milestone. One is sure of it after having crossed it. That’s all. E.g. If Kundalini jumps only mooladhar but does not breach swadhisthan, and later sexual sanskars arise strongly, one could cope better if one knows/understands the role of swadhisthan. One who does not know will remain confused and ultimately suffer more and slow down, may be resort to regressive remedies. There is more to this example but basic idea may be clear. So knowledge and understanding does help. In Bhagwad Gita Arjuna asked 16 questions to Krishna. After satisfactory answers he said "Karishya vachanam Tava" (I will do exactly as you say).
You are right that God resolves automatically. That's how I reached the lady's post immediately then and got to know what was happening. Also, in my experience, Curiosity, like an emotion rises naturally and spontaneously and cannot be wished away or talked down. I consciously see it arise in my mind space but it is different from me. It catches my attention sometimes but does not bother me anymore (it used to earlier, but not anymore). If I had got my technical answer, it would have been great, if it never comes by ever, that’s equally great. To me, curiosity (by itself) is not binding at all. Attachment to curiosity is definitely binding; like Yogani sir said enjoy the scenery but do not get too caught up (the word “too” is just a consolation, he actually meant don’t get caught up AT ALL). Acquiring knowledge/understanding is not getting caught up. Getting attached to it means so.
So you are right, surrender to God (the one real Self, yours, mine) by us (still in the body-mind mode) is the key. |
Edited by - seek123 on Mar 17 2014 4:04:57 PM |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Pranotthan. My history, may Yogani Sir pls answer
