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juan
Spain
34 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 04 2014 : 09:24:43 AM
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Dear all,
Please accept my apologies if my question makes little sense, as it has risen from practices that don’t seem to be standard at all. I wonder if there may be a “standard way” here, but we feel that the way we are following is not very usual: we don’t make sitting exercises, no standard meditation, no pranayama, and we use cannabis. But since August 2012 we practice something that more or less fits into the label “tantric sex”, for no less than three hours a day, every day, and this leads us consistently to what could be labelled as “ecstatic experiences” which become more and more powerful every day. To take us even further away from the paths usually described in AYP, now I find myself “working under the hood” and this is the reason of my call for help. Hope that someone has patience enough to read this impolitely long message and can give me some advice.
It seems that we are experiencing intense energy (prana?) flows. The intensity is higher and higher as I “learn” how to give way to this energy, or whatever it is. In my perception, “giving way” is exactly what happens, i.e. I don’t need, and I don’t try to “push” this energy (this is totally counterproductive), but the energy “presses” to pass through, or it is drawn (pulled) by my partner when we are in sexual union (and sometimes, even without sexual union). The only thing I have to do is relaxing, focusing and surrendering.
Sorry if I don’t find a more poetic metaphor to describe what I feel when I let the energy flow, but the closer feeling I can put as an example is that I managed to open a “sphincter” that was firmly closed before. And the mastering of this opening is gradual, i.e. the more I let it open today, the more I am able to open it tomorrow. And the feelings are totally overwhelming, proportional to this level of “aperture”. It is the same feeling as in ejaculation, but much, much more pleasurable, lasting many minutes and without ejaculation at all.
I have the hypothesis (which of course could be wrong) that this energy has been always flowing through me, but in a far less scale, when I ejaculated in the old times, practising “classic sex”. The problem was that the “sphincter” that gives way to this energy was then indissolubly coupled with the one that gives way to the sperm, and this limited the intensity and the duration of the energy flow. “Keeping the fire and avoiding the embers” can then be interpreted, in my experience, as just decoupling these two sphincters and gaining control of the energy flow.
And now, under the hood. After reading some literature on these issues, I bumped into (and, maybe, I was intellectually contaminated by) the concept of “chakras”. When they talk about “opening a chakra” I cannot but visualise my experience of the opening of this “sphincter” that gives way to the energy. Again, I can be wrong, but I feel that, if the second chakra can be opened, this could very well be what I have been doing in the last months. And there are more chakras…
My last session of “classic sex”, which marked the beginning of this adventure, was more than one year ago, when I experienced for the first time the rising of some strange energy up my spine until the area of the second chakra. This “scenery” repeats every day, in the periods of rest we have between one sexual union and the next, with the “energy”, or whatever it is, rising up my spine and putting it in fire from the sacred bone until the throat. After some strange experiences, I don’t dare to go higher than this, as I have read a lot of caveats about the problems of premature tinkering with the crown.
So far, I noticed that this energy (a kind of gentle, burning pressure) tends to stay in fixed places, which happened to be three chakras: near the stomach, just under the heart and in the throat. It was only some days ago when I started experimenting with the concept of opening them, just applying the same “force of will” (or, better, “force of surrendering”, if these are the right words to describe that), that I apply to “let my second chakra open”. And I got almost immediate results. As it happened with the second chakra, at the beginning they opened only slightly, and with subsequent experiences they get more and more open every day (or I perceive them that way).
The feelings when they “open” are still not very stable and hard to describe. The common thing is the perception of something flowing in (with the second chakra my perception is flowing out, but this could be just a perception!) and making its way through the spine until the second chakra. The perception of energy flow is more precise when the third chakra “opens”, and this specific one almost always comes with a lot of air moving through my intestines, or so it seems. The throat opened just a few days ago, quite suddenly, so I still cannot describe very well what I feel.
But the heart chakra… something seems to come in; describing it as a form of energy flow could be precise enough, but there is something more. It could be described as if, somehow, if I focus on a concept (love, peace… - after all, I am an old hippy!), then this very concept enters me, as if dragged by this energy flow. But entering me is a quite pale description of my feelings. It fills me, and what I feel is not pleasure, it is something beyond this concept.
After this very long preamble, here comes my concern and my question. When, (assuming this theory is valid), I “open one chakra after another” I feel the kind of “pressure” I feel in the other chakras, but now, and quite strongly, in the forehead. It is like this chakra is also demanding to be opened, and this worries me, as from my readings I understand that this opening can have uncontrolled consequences. But on the other hand, in AYP texts I have read that this chakra is precisely the “control one”, so it would be good opening it, as this would stabilise the energy flow. And also I should avoid the call of the crown, which is quite dangerous as I have read…
So here I am, asking again for some advice. My instinct tells me to forget about the forehead until I spend some time experimenting with the lower chakras, but would this be good? Is it good rejecting this demand of opening? Incidentally, when the first “demand” from this chakra arose, I had never opened the throat yet, but when I moved my focus away from the forehead, it came “on its own” to the throat and in one second it slammed open for the first time!
I will be very grateful for any hint
Love
juan
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2014 : 10:35:12 AM
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Welcome. I did read your post.
I advise a meditation practice if you do not have one already.
Don't worry about that other stuff it will take care of itself. If it gets overwhelming than cut back and ground.  |
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jeff
USA
971 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2014 : 10:54:51 AM
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Hi Juan,
As we discussed in your other thread, the "in" and "out" feeling is a more detailed noticing of the loop that I described. My suggestion is that you just continue with your surrendering or "giving way" approach. The flow will naturally just go where ever it needs to be. This continues until you ultimately realize that you are "also" the flow.
Best wishes,
Jeff |
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juan
Spain
34 Posts |
Posted - Mar 04 2014 : 12:44:36 PM
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Thanks tonightsthenight, thanks Jeff (again) for your advice.
From your answers I draw the conclusion that no serious harm will be done if I let the forehead chakra (aka “the third eye”) to open, and that possible imbalances would eventually adjust by themselves. Frankly, when reading the literature, “opening the third eye” seems to be such a huge achievement that I still cannot believe me to be able, or worthy, to reach it.
With this confidence, I will take your advice and let it flow, exactly as I did with the other chakras. Thank you again!
Love
juan
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Evannon
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2014 : 11:38:41 AM
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Hi Juan -
In my experience the "third eye" chakra does indeed work as a kind of throttle, enabling you to control the intensity of the "flow." The danger zone is the very top of the head, the "crown chakra." That one, in my experience, can cause some instability but only if you let it get out of control and fail to ground it - allow the energy to descend again through the lower chakras and "out" into the earth (at least that's it feels like) - before ending the session.
I second the advice above: add a meditation practice - WITH your partner!
I also am very curious about the sense of this energy flowing "in" and "out" and "through" me. What is it?? Where is it coming from? Where is it going? Is it just a product of my "mind" and endocrine/nervous system? Even if it's just that, it's an astonishing feat for a mere act of concentration to produce such a response! (The cannabis isn't necessary, by the way; the state can be achieved without it, given enough concentration and the right conditions.) The whole thing is an astonishing, beautiful mystery to me!
Vajra Bell |
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juan
Spain
34 Posts |
Posted - Mar 10 2014 : 08:29:35 AM
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Hi Vajra, thanks for your care and for sharing your experience. It is good to know that someone else has gone through the same process and is asking himself the same questions that I am asking myself now.
I have no idea about the nature of this “energy”, or whatever it is. All my life I have systematically rejected any “esoteric” explanation of reality, and this included - so far - the Eastern traditions, which too often came to us mixed with a lot of junk. But now I have to admit that this is the theory which best explains my observations, so this energy should be, under this theory, the so-called “prana”. Giving it a name does not answer the question, but at least it points to where to address further inquiry!
Whatever it is, the feeling is a “flow” of varying intensity, passing mainly through the chakras (when they are opened) but I also can perceive this flow, with a different quality, through my fingers, and even though my whole body. When the chakras are involved, the feeling is that the energy is flowing inside through the throat, heart and stomach, and outside through the second chakra. No special feeling at the first chakra (muladhara). When the energy goes through the fingers or the skin, I am not sure of the sense of flow. At any rate it affects my partner, but sometimes it sends her to heaven, sometimes it lets her drained. I wonder if this is something I can control or, rather, it depends mainly on my partner’s concentration, and this is now my greater concern. My feeling is that I can manage the energy flows reasonably well, but it seems that my partner comes a bit behind. And I don’t want frying her!
This takes me to the subject of meditation. If I understood it well, meditation is a must, as it is the way of getting a good control of this “energy”, using the symbolism of a child driving a powerful race car. Following the advice received here at AYP, I tried for some months to practice it, as explained in the site: sitting, and letting your “mind” or whatever we may call it, being filled only with a mantra, “I am”. And that is fine, for some time I cut the thread of thought and I just “feel”, or rather, “be”. But the mantra is lost, sometime later you realise that is lost, engulfed in an unwanted new thread of thought, then you recover the mantra and so on. Somehow, the feedback that tells you that you are not in target is weak, or at least is much weaker as the feedback I have when, instead of a mantra, I focus on a specific chakra and feel it open, and feel the flow, and become one with the flow. This, in my case, requires a pretty amount of focusing, but the feedback signal that tells me whether I am in focus or not is much, much stronger. A bit less focus and the flow vanishes. A bit more focus and it increases, more focus, more flow, and so on until your focus is sharp as a needle and the flow becomes overwhelming. This strong feedback allows me to sustain my focus for a much longer time than with sitting practices. No need to say that at these moments you lose any sense of “I”. Even the direction of flow seems to make little sense!
And still another clue: in my case, “sitting” and “relaxed” are not easy to combine. I was a bit worried until I discovered that I had been doing all the time “Shavasana” without knowing it! Because only in this asana I can be fully relaxed, and this, in my case, is a must. First a whole, deep relax. When I no longer feel my body, then I start feeling the energy tingling, ramifying along hundreds of tiny nerves until the tips of my fingers and toes. And the burning pressure in my second chakra, which easily moves up, allowing me to open the upper chakras, one by one.
And this leads me to the origin of these posts: the forehead, the “third eye”. Frankly, even if you are a bit sceptic, “opening the third eye” sounds like you will start hearing the trumpets of the angels, in Tibetan version, so I felt a bit apprehensive. Finally, thanks to the messages of other AYP members (thanks again, tonightsthenight, Jeff), I relaxed and applied the same procedure as with the other chakras. And it opened, or this was my feeling, a bit at the beginning, wider and wider in further “exercises”, as I learn how to - more or less- deal with it.
Flowing in or out? At the beginning it clearly seemed to flow “in”, and this makes my backbone (the sushumna, I think) feel like a burning wire from the forehead to the second chakra. Also in this situation, the “pressure” moves quite easily from forehead to sacrum and vice-versa, with really overwhelming feelings when it settles in one or the other spot.
But just yesterday morning I had a new and strange feeling, which seems to put a new stress on these issues of “in” or “out”. This has happened only once, so I still am quite doubtful on what really happened, but maybe someone has some hint on that.
It started the day before, when I had some glimpses of this “pressure” in my forehead somehow “projecting outside my body”: It is difficult to explain, but it was like I could feel the “pressure” not in my forehead but in a lamp placed four or five metres away! The morning after, when repeating this “exercise” focusing in different objects in the room, I finally focused on a far tree that I could see through the window. And then I felt a kind of “rush” from my sacrum through my backbone and my forehead until that tree! And at this very moment (a pair of seconds) I closed my eyes and had the perception that the tree was just the farthest object I could see, but in reality, this “projection” could go much further away. This experience is totally new for me; I had some doubts about writing it now, as it may even happen that I don’t feel it again, but its effect on me has been a new questioning of the concepts of “in” and “out” (which are quite close to the concept of “I”).
Again, my post is impolitely long, please excuse me. But I wrote it thinking that, if you are as astonished as I am by this “energy”, some of its content may be of some help to you. And of course the selfish reason: I also hope that exposing these experiences to other people in the same situation could raise some useful hints for me!
Thanks and love to all of you
juan |
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Energy flows "under the hood"
