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Sidewinder7x
USA
1 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 12 2014 : 02:49:25 AM
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Hi there! I'm Stephanie, 21 years old. I've had a huge problem for a while now with focusing in general.
First of all, 2 years ago I made the bad decision of smoking synthetic marijuana often. (It's also called K2 or Spice) Usually my body was fine when I smoked it but towards my third month of smoking it, my body totally went on a type of "lock down" trip. I felt like I was stuck inside my head and I couldn't move, it was almost like there was a gray veil over my eyes for the entire time too. So this caused me to have a series of bad panic attacks. This was also he first time I had ever encountered any kind of bad anxiety. For 2 years now, I've been suffering with what is called Derelization Disorder. It effects the part of your brain called the amygdala, which is also the same part of your brain that is sensitive when you are a baby. Most of us cannot remember that time period & it's the same for people with Derealization. We have trouble recalling things, certain instances that happened yesterday feel like they actually happened a week ago. You basically feel like you are in a dream-like state 24-7. This disorder can be caused by PTSD, anxiety, depression or stress. A lot of people do get it from the panic attacks they get caused by the drugs they take. There is no known cure, overcoming it usually just happens gradually. I've talked to people that have had it for a week and then there are people that have had it for years. I do eat healthier, go to the gym and try to keep my mind off of it at all costs.
Now that you sort of understand a little of my background, my big problem because of all of this is focusing. I cannot read an article or a book, etc. unless there is complete silence. Complete silence is usually hard to come by. I want to know how to improve my focusing ability. Mouse-clicking, tapping, people talking or other repetitive noises are usually what get to me the most. I used to read all the time, ever since I've gotten Derealization I haven't been able to enjoy reading. I always have to go back and re-read paragraphs over and over until finally I get so fed up with it that I just give up. Meditation is another thing I have a problem with because of the focus aspect.
If anyone has tips or anything, I would greatly appreciate any input.
Thank you so much, this is my first post on this website. 
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Mykal K
Germany
267 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2014 : 03:25:07 AM
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Hi Stephanie,
I've been in the unreal world for about a year and a half, and It wasn't nice.
I cannot say that I have a technique that could help you. What did it for me, was to identify where the problem is, and to take care of it somehow.
For instance, I had an episode with the unreality of the whole world, and the way out for me was to see that the real problem was not the unreality, but the fear itself. When I saw that, it was a just a matter of time till the habit of pumping fear was finished. Fear is not so fearful anymore.
That helped me to have less energy in my system - with no energy pumped up, there was no problem with focusing.
Hope this helps. Do not know how aware you are of your inner working. If you cannot feel what is inside you, it could be helpful to just take the time in the day and to just pay attention without judging and with the attitude of wanting to learn. For me there wasn't a way back - just forward.
I think you also have no problem with reading or focusing - you could do it before.
I think that now you just have access to some other things as well, and have to learn to control them(through understanding, not fear or force).
I am not an expert though, this is just from my xp. Haven't met too many people with this.
Welcome to the forums !
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Trouble with focusing
