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kami
USA
921 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 11:32:08 AM
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At the AYP classes I conduct, there are always questions on what to do "in between" the sitting sessions when we tend to get pulled or hooked into stuff, be it interactions with others or our own addictive behavior. Sharing here some strategies that I have used, depending on how far into the "pull" I am.
Initially, without established inner silence, this pull or hook may be noticed after the fact, either while still in the throes of it or much later after all has quieted down. As we progress along, this pull is noticed more and more upstream until a time comes when the beginning of the subtle change in energy at a very deep level is noticed, before it becomes crystallized into thought and action (response).
Strategies in that order, from gross to subtle:
A. The pull or hook is noticed in retrospect:
Usually the tendency is to re-live the incidence again and again, with the inner critic going over all the ways the outcome could have been different.
Instead,
1. Bring up the incidence at the end of a DM session - bring up the emotion as intensely as possible - the sense of being wronged/insulted/disrespected (or the juicy tempation of the addiction) along with the bodily reactions that accompany it and the sense of the need to react to it.
2. Become intensely familiar with it all. The more intensely this can be brought up, the easier it is to practice in "real life".
3. Bring the mind back to the mantra.
4. Bring it up again, going back to the mantra when the pull is felt as if real.
As this practice goes on, the package of sensations becomes so familiar that it can be noticed more and more upstream.
B. In the throes of the pull:
As soon as it is noticed that the hook has been bitten, the first thing that arises is dismay - oh no, I've done it again! Often, this causes more frustration, adding to the passion of the moment (at least for me). The first thing to do is to extricate oneself from the situation if possible - walk away, stop talking, etc. There are many strategies that help to deal with the inner turmoil that may persist and to bring one back to present moment awareness:
1. Mantra (not the DM mantra) - for those that enjoy mantra sadhana, this is one very powerful application. Bring the mantra into sharp focus, concentrating on each syllable. I find that the more complex the mantra, the faster I get off the hook. Any mantra I'm working on at the moment will do.
2. Breathe - I usually teach a simple belly breathing technique. Place both your hands on the belly, fingertips touching at the solar plexus, and see how far you can push the fingertips apart during inhalation and how much the fingertips will overlap during exhalation. Simply bringing attention to the movement of the diaphragm works wonders.
3. Notice the sound of the breath - for this, it helps to become familiar with the inherent "soundless sound" of quiet breathing during peaceful times - "So" during inhalation and "Ham" during exhalation. Noticing changes in rhythm while going about daily activities is very helpful, because the jagged rhythm that occurs spontaneously when about the bite the hook can be easily recognized when it happens. If able to recognize this, consciously change the rhythm to what is remembered from the quiet times.
4. Pay attention to the breath - notice the length of the breath by counting, and increase the length by double for 5 breaths and triple for 5.
5. Bring full attention to where the hands are. This is simple but works even as a constant practice - always attend to whatever the hands are engaged in.
C. About to bite the hook:
1. Mantra as above. Diverting the passion and turning it to bhakti in mantra works superbly well at any stage.
2. Once more established in inner silence, notice the change in texture of the energy behind the thought-emotion, the "felt-sense". By noticing that felt-sense as well as the energy behind "wanting" to react but not reacting, the impermanence of the hook can be seen through. It can be allowed to pass.
D. There is a subtle arising of the temptation to bite the hook:
As we get more established in inner silence and the witness arises, the slightest change in texture or feel of the energy (felt-sense) is immediately noticed. As we become more sensitive to this, there can be a general feeling of being unwell every time the baseline of peace and contentment is "off".
1. Samyama - this is the most powerful practice, IMHO, described here.
2. Self-inquiry - simply notice the resistance and then work backwards from it, from "why is this such a problem?" to "where in me is this pointing?" to "who is this that notices?"
3. Become aware of awareness.
4. "Open" from the contracted state - the "something is off" feels like trying to squeeze through a tight opening. Relaxing or opening from that is like opening the door and walking into fresh air.
5. Stay with the raw energy - without labeling it as anger, sadness, etc, or the stories accompanying it; merely allow the energy to be felt "as is". Without labeling and story-telling, the lifespan of such subtle shifts becomes exceedingly short and the present moment awareness is never "lost".
I find that as I become more adept at this, it is fun to notice all the triggers (and sometimes even seek them out), to practice, to find new ways to let go into vastness.. The fun is akin to progressing along levels in an endless video game.
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2013 : 3:17:37 PM
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Hi kami
Great post and very comprehensive.
As I read it I was thinking you could run quite a big course just on this alone rather than it being simply responding to questions in your course. You seem to have many different strategies and options, which is what we need depending on the situation and also to keep it fresh.
Was wondering if you have a particular strategy for rumination, low mood and depression?
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2013 : 06:40:32 AM
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Hi Sparkle,
Can you tell I have a long history and expertise in getting hooked? 
With regard to low mood and depression - I look at this in two broad categories: situational and clinical.
Situational depression is where it comes and goes in response to something. The story we tell ourselves that gets us in a low mood is short lived (as in lasting hours or days, but always lifting when the story dies down or is temporarily forgotten). In between such episodes, one can remain neutral, joyful or content. If this is the case, then the above strategies help to identify and work with the trigger(s). At the outset of the low mood, it helps to "scan" within to see what the underlying story is. In my experience, as soon as I see that the current situation is not the problem but the story in my head is, the reaction dies down. It is a type of pratyahara.
Clinical depression is different where the low mood colors every aspect of being to such an extent that the identification as the separate self is total. The self-absorption is so strong that one cannot see beyond it. It is the same with its counterpart, mania. Both extremes are examples of being completely in Maya's grip. Others here may strongly disagree but the way I work with my patients in this situation is to have them take medications or try therapy for a short time until the grip loosens to where spiritual practices can work. The problem with conventional therapy is that by revisiting the stories but not finding effective ways to let them go, their stronghold is maintained. All of the strategies I was describing are based on having/developing inner silence. These cannot work if the stories and distorted perceptions dominate the mind on a continuous basis as in clinical depression.. I've worked with several people using the "temporary medications until we are out of the black hole" method - it works in direct proportion to the willingness to try and the desire to feel better. It is interesting to see that sometimes, one can become so addicted to the painful stories that the subconscious desire to relive them over-rides the conscious desire to get out of that loop..
Also, for me personally, the constant driving force is Bhakti. I find that I'm always happy if I take my will out of stuff and acknowledge His will - simply thinking "Krishna wants it this way" gets me soaring, instantly dissolving the low mood (paradoxically even when the low mood is acknowledged to be His will).
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2013 : 1:15:19 PM
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Thank you for the great post Kami
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2013 : 3:49:09 PM
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Thanks kami
When I read the first line you wrote
"Can you tell I have a long history and expertise in getting hooked? "
I read it a couple of times and saw it as
I can you tell you have a long history and expertise in getting hooked?
And I thought, that's very perceptive of you, and also - she's getting cheeky now
I agree with you about the therapy and/or medication like anti-depressants. In fact I think research has shown that trying to treat someone with depression through meditation whilst they are actually depressed or going into an episode is counterproductive and is likely to bring them in deeper, which in the case of clinical depression can be very detrimental.
Once the depression has passed and the person can concentrate and use meditation to develop inner silence then there is every chance they can begin seeing the thought patterns etc that create the depression.
Some specific training on seeing thoughts is probably useful too to unravel the patterns of thinking behaviour, as I'm sure you know.
I never really tried japa on a regular basis and wondered if this can help depression. I would think it would in that it could be very effective at interrupting the spiraling down cycle and giving the person a chance to recoup and regroup their stability. Although the awareness of the thinking that creates the spiraling down must at some stage be seen through.
Great that you rise up out of the ashes of low mood by thinking of Krishna, that's cool.
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2013 : 9:23:50 PM
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| Thank you Jonesboy. |
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Dec 06 2013 : 9:51:54 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Sparkle
Thanks kami
When I read the first line you wrote
"Can you tell I have a long history and expertise in getting hooked? "
I read it a couple of times and saw it as
I can you tell you have a long history and expertise in getting hooked?
And I thought, that's very perceptive of you, and also - she's getting cheeky now
I agree with you about the therapy and/or medication like anti-depressants. In fact I think research has shown that trying to treat someone with depression through meditation whilst they are actually depressed or going into an episode is counterproductive and is likely to bring them in deeper, which in the case of clinical depression can be very detrimental.
Once the depression has passed and the person can concentrate and use meditation to develop inner silence then there is every chance they can begin seeing the thought patterns etc that create the depression.
Some specific training on seeing thoughts is probably useful too to unravel the patterns of thinking behaviour, as I'm sure you know.
I never really tried japa on a regular basis and wondered if this can help depression. I would think it would in that it could be very effective at interrupting the spiraling down cycle and giving the person a chance to recoup and regroup their stability. Although the awareness of the thinking that creates the spiraling down must at some stage be seen through.
Great that you rise up out of the ashes of low mood by thinking of Krishna, that's cool.
Thank you Sparkle! Cheeky yes but very true. It is stupendous how this issue of being hooked has been playing out for me.. It was seeing such patterns within myself and being fed up with it that led me to meditation.
Totally agree with you on the depression and meditation being potentially counterproductive during times of being in that state..
However, there is another big block in this.. And this is something I have noticed, particularly in intellectual individuals that suffer from depression but "know" exactly what is going on, the theories behind it, the pros and cons (mostly cons) of therapy - pretty much all there is to know. In such knowing, one can be totally closed to actual help. There are some people like this that I've known for years as patients - and nothing seems to change for them because any time something is suggested, their response (internal and external) is "I know all there is to know. I know how to get better, don't need anyone to tell me.." yet they don't actually get out of self-defeating patterns.. This subtle arrogance of knowing is a problem in any field, but particularly in spirituality, it can hold us back from opening and keep us very securely in the place of ego identification.
I cannot recommend japa enough. While some may have overload issues from it (and it is certainly not an AYP teaching), it is a sublime and effective practice. The ajapa japa (subconscious mantra repetition once it becomes established within) is beyond description. I wake up and fall asleep to the mantra, it pops up in dreams automatically, as well as in all sorts of situations, as if providing a safe place for the mind to park itself. Off late, I sense it vibrating in all my cells which is the greatest experience of ecstatic bliss - hard to be hooked to mundane stuff when the mantra takes over like this..
The key is to pick a mantra and not change it. It took me months to settle on one when I started this practice years ago. It seems the mantra picks the practitioner, not the other way around..
Much love.
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Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2013 : 4:24:24 PM
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Hi kami
you said:
"However, there is another big block in this.. And this is something I have noticed, particularly in intellectual individuals that suffer from depression but "know" exactly what is going on, the theories behind it, the pros and cons (mostly cons) of therapy - pretty much all there is to know. In such knowing, one can be totally closed to actual help. There are some people like this that I've known for years as patients - and nothing seems to change for them because any time something is suggested, their response (internal and external) is "I know all there is to know. I know how to get better, don't need anyone to tell me.." yet they don't actually get out of self-defeating patterns.. This subtle arrogance of knowing is a problem in any field, but particularly in spirituality, it can hold us back from opening and keep us very securely in the place of ego identification."
Yes this is familiar to me also, it can be so deeply ingrained and bring the person round and round in circles endlessly.
It brings to mind the "negativity bias" we all have built into us. That of seeing the negative in things 5 times more easily than the positive. As you know this is a survival tactic we have developed as humans in order to better survive, in effect by equipping us to deal with things that will potentially go wrong, leaving the positive for some other time.
The intellectual is constantly trying to solve and fix their unhappiness by thinking their way through it, which is an endless cycle going nowhere but down into low mood and depression.
The nourishing positive things in life get set aside during these times and, even for these individuals and indeed for all of us, it can be a great practice to pay attention to the balance between the "intellectual bashing" or negative self-criticising we do to ourselves and things that "nourish" and "sustain" us.
It seems like Japa would be a great way to re-balance the negativity bias in us and bring some sort of equal balance between the things that might cause us suffering and things that will bring happiness within our lives.
I skirted around japa a few times and perhaps the Christian rosary is a similar thing. I used to enjoy this a lot particularly as a kid when saying it out loud with the family. Although Sanskrit words do seem to contain a certain energy.
I have been drawn to some mantras and words. The word karuna was one that deeply resonated long before I knew its meaning and before I knew what it meant I found myself repeating it as a mantra and had a profound experience with it that I would describe as an initiation. It was nice later to find it's meaning.
Blessings and love to you
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