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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 24 2013 : 6:31:00 PM
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I finally hit a wall. My spiritual pride is being leveled as of late because of signs of too much P&O (purification and opening). My body has felt like it's been wrapped in cotton balls from head-to-toe. There is a persistent fuzz that can be felt between my skin and my external aura. The top of my head (crown) often throbs like there's a little man beating a drum up there...("I am poor boy too, rumba-ba-bum, playing my drum, when we come...I have no gifts to give, rumba-ba-bum..."). The visual perception of crown activity is also replete with rambunctious scenery.
Though I maintain good poise with all my social interactions, sometimes the inner ego-voice is pure mischief, just running rampant on his little railroad train, with a multitude of characters to choose from. It's pretty amusing from a witness standpoint, but a bit troublesome when trying to translate that into functional conversation and humor. Fortunately, my co-workers and friends already tolerate my flavor of weirdness, but some of this internal stuff cannot be properly integrated into the flow--unless I was going to write some high-level absurd comedy in movie script form, which I may do one day!
Also, at night during sleep, I have to do self-compressing mudras that connect my fingertips to certain spots on my chest so that the heart-space circuit is closed. Otherwise, it feels like I'm being ripped to pieces by who-knows-what. When I fade into the dream state, my mind splinters and fractures, with a wide range of glimpses into astral planes that go from beautiful to horrifying, from sublime to chaotic. I'm talking full spectrum.
All of this I have been enduring with equanimity and fierce bhakti, but alas, I have finally succumbed to favoring a little comfort, in lieu of perceived advancement. Even if I have been advancing, at what cost? What's the point of spiritual progress, if it can't be enjoyed? It's like working at a devilish speed to earn dollars that you plan to spend during retirement. Meanwhile, the labor is miserable.
So, self-pacing! I've ceased and desisted all practices for the time being, except for my normal contemplative, prayerful mindset, which has been present since childhood. Just wanted to share these symptoms on the forum to remind others of the importance or self-pacing. Any parallel experience is gladly welcomed.
Slow and steady wins the race. I call upon my Galapagos Tortoise power animal, and I invoke the spirit of my Polar Bear for this occasion. I'll be withdrawn in my sturdy shell, and chillin' on the ice...until the time comes for me to soar once again!
  
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jonesboy
USA
594 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2013 : 7:40:15 PM
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Hi Bodhi,
Sorry I cannot help you with your overload but for some reason your post made me smile,
I do hope things get better. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2013 : 8:28:55 PM
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Even in suffering, there is joy, sometimes.  Thank you. |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2013 : 8:36:45 PM
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A lot of that sounds fascinating, and I say that with recognition of the difficulties this poses momentarily.
Keep us posted on anything you discover to work for you on grounding and getting back to your practices in short time.
I am sure you're still soaring, if taking a minute to glide along the drafts of devotion to calibrate your sights to new horizons. |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2013 : 9:45:23 PM
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| Sorry to hear that bodhi. Having been there myself I empathize with you. Especially with the wacky nature of ego, its hilarious as hell but not easily translatable, like a lot of life. Enjoy it for what its worth, dont get frustrated, and eat lots of potatoes and meat and indulge your material self a bit. Don't be afraid of losing a little wisdom and perspectiv, it will come back when the time is right! |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2013 : 08:25:24 AM
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Thank you, Tonight and Aum.
Yes, speaking of indulging in the material self, I'm deliberately reading "A Game of Thrones" to de-spiritualize my literary mind, which has been devouring lots of spiritual writing in the past few years. There can even be too much of a good thing.
That's so interesting you mention potatoes, Tonight, because a couple nights ago, I was like: I want some tater tots! So I went with a friend to get some, and then last night I was eating scalloped potatoes (with steak), so maybe the carbs slow down the flow. Potatoes are aesthetically very grounded and sturdy in their round thickness, so it would make sense that they would have that effect on the system. |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2013 : 10:35:36 AM
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Haha!! Yay!! Now that you're coming up for air, there's a ton of really great writing in TV and movies! 
If you're at all interested in being a couch potato, there are several seasons of "Dr. Who" and, if you haven't seen the BBC's "Sherlock," it's required! "Agents of Shield" is fun to watch, and you have to see "The Avengers." (I want to know who your favorite Marvel super hero is.) If you can catch the new Thor movie, that's worthwhile too. |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2013 : 10:40:13 AM
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Potatoes work well for me. I try to eat heavy year round, high calories, high fats, preference for things growing in the earth. Otherwise I'd disappear.
Try sweet potatoes too, or make a mash out of celery root. There's lots of options with roots! |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2013 : 11:09:28 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Bodhi Tree
Also, at night during sleep, I have to do self-compressing mudras that connect my fingertips to certain spots on my chest so that the heart-space circuit is closed. Otherwise, it feels like I'm being ripped to pieces by who-knows-what. When I fade into the dream state, my mind splinters and fractures, with a wide range of glimpses into astral planes that go from beautiful to horrifying, from sublime to chaotic. I'm talking full spectrum.
Hi Bodhi
Could you elaborate a bit on these self-compressing mudras.. Is it a technique you improvised to deal w/overload? Is that all there is to it or do you visualize a circuit closing? Do you sleep that way - fingertips on chest?
love
parvati
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2013 : 12:10:32 PM
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It's kind of like the AYP-recommended asanas, in which you can gently massage your body in a way that directs all the flow to the heart. That definitely works for me...self-massaging. But if I keep all my fingertips spread across the center of my chest, I can feel the energy pulsing between the interface of my fingers and heartspace, and that "closes" the circuit. Then I lay facedown on my stomach and use the weight of my body to apply some pressure to my hand(s) so that I don't have to exert any muscular effort.
Interlacing my fingers between my hands in weird ways also lets me touch pressure points that reach all the organs (again, kind of like self-applied acupressure).
Note, I don't recommend any of that. I just intuitively improvised to adapt to the overflow, as you guessed. The body can be pushed to extreme limits, as can the mind. It's the adventure spirit and the compulsion to "break through" that has to be mastered with a combination of contentment and simultaneous striving. Balance. Self-pacing. Walking on the razor's edge. 
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2013 : 4:25:15 PM
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Hey Bodhi
Was going to ask if you lay on your stomach, I do something similar when I'm sleeping. Not sure why but sometimes it helps me sleep. Thanks for the reply
love
parvati |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1553 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2013 : 05:35:35 AM
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Hey BT - if you're going to talk Tortoises - stick to Seychelles ones, They have perfected the art of chilling and living to over 120 years old.
Sey |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2013 : 08:10:19 AM
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The man who mows my grandfather's lawn also raises all kinds of tortoises in his backyard. One day I went over there and he had about 4 giant Galapagos tortoises just chillin' in their quarantined area. He let me feed them bananas, which they ate directly from hand. They also enjoyed having their necks rubbed. One of them was around 80 years old and 500 pounds, and when I was petting him, I almost didn't feel worthy of touching him because he was such a gentle and majestic creature. I was just thinking: man, this is way better than any shaktipat I could receive from some guru rambling on and on about non-duality and how the ego isn't real. I'll take the company of the tortoise any day of the week. So amazing to feel the miracle of that creature.
Well, I'm gonna have to put Sey on my list of tortoise destinations. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2013 : 1:36:11 PM
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quote:
Haha!! Yay!! Now that you're coming up for air, there's a ton of really great writing in TV and movies
!
haha
over here there is overload too...stopped sitting practices since 2 weeks...went for a short trip which was extremely beneficial..now i am back home and anxiety resurfaced 
i teached asanas today and since then i have a headache...so it seems no sitting practices for the coming days..weeks ..who knows?
as for Game of Thrones i started to watch the first season when i stopped practices 2 weeks ago...such a good serie! it will keep me busy in the evening instead of slipping back to sitting practices before the energy really calms down
Ps. I do find potatoes to be very grounding |
Edited by - maheswari on Nov 27 2013 2:39:37 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2013 : 03:15:03 AM
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That's how I like my toast! Burned sourdough buttered and dipped in egg yolk.
You should check out the grounding thread. It does wonders to ground yourself while you are sleeping:
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....PIC_ID=13574 |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2013 : 2:45:39 PM
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i cant order any of the earthing products on ebay nor on earthing.com cause we dont have paypal in Lebanon
i read that putting aluminium foil in shoes is grounding??! |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2013 : 6:15:30 PM
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You should be able to find a vendor that can take a check in the mail.
No, aluminum foil would have to touch the ground also to be grounding.
That's why Pluggz shoes have conductive rubber that touches your foot and the ground. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2013 : 02:57:43 AM
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I asked the building janitor. ..here in Lebanon electricity is not linked to the earth
;-)
So aluminium on the ground seems the best choice |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Nov 29 2013 : 1:48:09 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
That's how I like my toast! Burned sourdough buttered and dipped in egg yolk.
LOL!! Good stuff, good stuff. Thank you. |
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Toast: burnt and crispy
