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 Yoga and Relationships
 Help!!! Teacher/Student relationship becoming more
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beetsmyth

USA
104 Posts

Posted - Oct 22 2013 :  4:03:31 PM  Show Profile  Visit beetsmyth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Message
Greetings,
Was wondering if anyone here can give me some sage advice on my situation.

I do some light teaching and advising on the side which I have been called to spiritually/intuitively and basically point the way to various methods to return to the One via advaita, grace, meditation, various practices.

Well anyway, this woman came to me for advice/guidance, I pointed her to retreats, gave her practices, etc, and my own kundalini effected her to a very high state of bliss, surrender, oneness, etc....and now she is having physical manifestations of longing to make Love to me, see's the One in me, etc.....and of course the same is now reciprocated on my end.

However, I practice celibacy for many years now, am still furthering my own path, have always loved her from a teacher, transcendent, agape divine Love point of view.....and this has turned to so much more.

Now I have always kept my self open to God's will that if someone enters my life at a later date, that I would be open to it if she was spiritual, in Union, Oneness, etc.....but I have to respect the teacher/student borders, and my biggest longing is to see her Enlightened.

So I wonder what to do in this kind of situation. My intentions are, and always have been, pure with her, to see her blossom, grow, Enlightened, but the bliss in her (which is also in me) has her longing for me and I can't help but to long back now...what a test!!!!

There is some distance there now between us for a while until I figure this all out. Hopefully Yogani or others who are teachers and help/point for others can pass along some wisdom

jeff

USA
971 Posts

Posted - Oct 22 2013 :  6:09:11 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi Beetsmyth,

What you have described can definitely happen. The connections and bonds thread below covers some of the possible issues.

http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....PIC_ID=12905

Best wishes,
Jeff
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beetsmyth

USA
104 Posts

Posted - Oct 22 2013 :  6:14:03 PM  Show Profile  Visit beetsmyth's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Thank you Jeff so kindly for the link, I will take to it immediately. Thank you for your time, many blessings upon you
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whippoorwill

USA
450 Posts

Posted - Oct 23 2013 :  12:18:04 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi beetsmyth!

What a conundrum! I was thinking through a response to this, and I fear it might be seen as harsh. I don't mean to be, so apologies in advance if I offend! If so, please let me know.

There are a couple of things here that could be examined...

quote:

....my biggest longing is to see her Enlightened.



She's perfectly capable of longing on her own behalf. Do you see the power imbalance in this? If this persists, at some point, you two will be at loggerheads over what you think is right for her and what she thinks is right for herself. There isn't anyone who can tread this path for her (not even you ), so why disempower her from the beginning by setting the direction (wanting things for her)? She treads the path, and she determines what she wants. The guru is in her too.

The other implication in this statement is that you want her to become something you hold as ideal (and that she isn't ideal already). This will only work as long as she places a greater value on pleasing you than she does on self-determination and, since no one else can tread this path for her, it is a barrier to her success.


quote:

So I wonder what to do in this kind of situation. My intentions are, and always have been, pure with her, to see her blossom, grow, Enlightened, but the bliss in her (which is also in me) has her longing for me and I can't help but to long back now...what a test!!!!



What do you want for yourself?

If you want to share an intimate physical relationship with her, go for it! Wholeheartedly!!! But I would recommend finding a teacher for the both of you and dissolving the teacher/student relationship between you. I honestly don't see how an intimate relationship can stand the test of time with that kind of imbalance.

If you do not want to share physical intimacy, then I recommend directing her to another teacher and ending the relationship between you, at least for a while.

But ultimately, it is up to you. Good luck!!

Love
--Liz
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AYPforum

351 Posts

Posted - Oct 23 2013 :  12:30:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement
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Holy

796 Posts

Posted - Nov 29 2013 :  8:51:17 PM  Show Profile  Visit Holy's Homepage  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
Hi beetsmyth,

don't know if this is still valid or not, but friend of love, love her on all levels including the physical. It will not take from you, it will give to you both so much more.

Love on all levels in all directions till all levels and directions melt into love :)

Peace and happy love ;)
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adishivayogi

USA
197 Posts

Posted - Jan 11 2014 :  05:37:50 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
i honestly believe if you didnt have hormones the desire for physical union wouldnt be there.physical union is very superficial.but the question is whether such desires are compulsive or not. i would tell you they are but im not god(anything that can be done unconsciously can also be done consciously). sex is usually an unconscious urge to find union on the physical level. if this reaches an emotional level we call it love. if it becomes conscious then it is yoga

Edited by - adishivayogi on Jan 11 2014 06:12:50 AM
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ak33

Canada
229 Posts

Posted - Jan 11 2014 :  4:10:28 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote  Get a Link to this Reply
I'd agree with Liz on this one. One of the worst habits we have is to control the actions of others according to our own will. She has every right to long for intimacy you, and you have the right to reciprocate.

quote:
but I have to respect the teacher/student borders, and my biggest longing is to see her Enlightened.


If this is what you want, then you have every right not to recriprocate. But you yourself state that you are longing back, and this is what you feel. And what you feel is authentic, not what you think. Now Gabe says that these feelings are compulsive, and this may be true, as often what we feel is a result of our emotional blockages, or a need to find Union. What I'm trying to say is, go with your heart and don't let mental constructs (what you think, plan etc.) dictate your actions.
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