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iseekbalance
USA
49 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 5:19:08 PM
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I am very nervous and troubled guy. I came to US to study and it has been almost 4 years yet i have not been able to adapt as i would like to. I was so depressed that i was questioning why i came to us and what was i doing with life. I also questioned about god. I became a addict of marijuana then started meditating just because my friend told it would calm me down. Then after i was meditating for almost 1 year but it was very random and only did it when i used to smoke marijuana and then i would feel strange things. 3 months ago i started laughing and crying while meditating. I understood one day that i was not my body as i think i was inside my body. Then one day when i vowed my mom that i would quit marijuana as she was very worried about me in the distant country. The thing was an old lady customer gave me a marijuana already rolled. After i came to my home i smoked it and was thinking about black holes in space. And i just felt what black hole was and then a surge of energy came inside my body and then i felt i was going to die. I felt i was getting pulled from above. Then i tried to call my mom home but i was too nervous and scared. And then i went outside my apartment and then i was talking to people to just to live. Then i went to mc donalds to feed this homeless guy just to do good things then i could almost mind control the gals working inside. I was always feeling i was going to die so i went outside as my mom had called me. I talked to her and she was terrified. And she said me to go home and i was praying god to let me live. Then i started crying in the middle of the road. After sometime a black young guy like my age came near me and then he asked my hand to lift me up. As soon as i touched his hand all the energy i had went to him as and i could really feel this energy transport from my body to my hands to him and he had this glow in his eyes and he told me that everything would me alright. I knew he was god or god in form of man. SO my life changed after this incident and i always felt stable and enjoyed life. I could stare at trees and water in the harbor area and then the leaf would move and there would be water going down. I felt i could do anything.
Now my college started and my courses are getting so difficult that i have been nervous again. I feel like i cant do anything. I cant urge myself to study. I have started smoking marijuana again and i don't get high like before but the energy can be felt. I need help to be calm again and focus on studies. I am really unstable right now. I haven't actually meditated after the incident when i met god. Please help me. |
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parvati9
USA
587 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 6:20:38 PM
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Hi Iseekbalance
Welcome to the forum! Have you tried going for long walks in a natural setting? Or is there some other way for you to engage in physical activity? Your post makes me think that you need to physically ground yourself and one of the best ways to do that is to spend time in a natural setting while engaging in some form of exercise. It is often a good idea to balance strenuous mental activity with strenuous physical pursuits. If it can be arranged, a long hike may be just what you need.
All the best in your studies and on your spiritual path.
love
parvati
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2013 : 9:54:16 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by iseekbalance
I need help to be calm again and focus on studies. I am really unstable right now.
Hi iseekbalance,
Balance is an excellent goal. It is natural, so it is attainable.
As to getting calm and focusing on studies, here are my suggestions:
Quit pot. Sounds like you know that marajuana is not helping of stay calm and focus on your studies. What can you do to stop using it?
Eat right. Be sure to eat enough good food, healthy veggies and fruit and protein. Cut down on highly processed or sugary foods. How is your diet?
Sleep well. Rest at night. If tired in the day, also take naps. Are you getting enough rest?
Exercise. Walking is excellent. Are you getting at least 20 mintues of exercise at least three times a week.
Trust. It can be done. In school, your teachers are there to help you and guide you. Find what interests you in your assignments and do your best. Do what needs to be done even when you don't feel like it! It will be worth it.
Hang in there young man!
Namaste,
Bewell, from Baltimore
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Edited by - bewell on Oct 14 2013 10:02:18 PM |
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iseekbalance
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 12:33:32 AM
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| The thing is that I never felt nervous till my college started again. I was always calm and always felt like I was happy. Also I was doing really well in studies for some weeks then suddenly I feel nervous as soon as I start to study and I have also lost confidence in huge amount. I always feel meditating will help me a lot but I can't set up a time. It feels like I am my old self and not my new self which I was becoming 3 months ago. |
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Mykal K
Germany
267 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 03:04:31 AM
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Hi iseekbalance,
quote:
It feels like I am my old self and not my new self which I was becoming 3 months ago.
This happens.
It feels that the new self is weak or nonexistent when the old self sets in. But think of it as if a layer of dirt is covering you. Just be aware of it and relax. Even if you can't feel your new self. It will go away in time. The fastest way through is not to get anxious during those times. Either way, in time it's grip over you will be less. 
Good luck, and take heart. |
Edited by - Mykal K on Oct 15 2013 04:59:18 AM |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 09:09:24 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by iseekbalance
I always feel meditating will help me a lot but I can't set up a time.
As for finding a time to meditate, with my AYP practice, I find that it is helpful to think in terms of meditating before meals. Try this: Today, for a minute, take time for before eating for mindful breathing with the intention of calming and remembering your new self. |
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iseekbalance
USA
49 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 10:11:19 AM
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| Thank you guys. I am going to try this and will try to be more calm. |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2013 : 6:00:15 PM
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| Cool! And, by the way, congrats on doing well academically thus far this semester! Just do your best. Nobody can ask for more than that. Nobody is asking for perfection. |
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Met god but i am so nervous once again
