|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 15 2006 : 10:49:05 PM
|
I've been squatting since college. I've been dragging the same moving boxes with me from apartment to apartment, never unpacking them. And even the things I do unpack seem obscenely wasteful...I never touch 90% of the objects in my apartment in the average year (decade?). The problem is I have a very eclectic life, which means support materials and mementos galore. I don't treasure these materials or mementos; obviously, I rarely even stumble across them. But it's hard to unpack because few of my possessions are categorizable or aggregatable. Everything's unique. I don't know where to put them in my living space or in my life. And I'm ashamed by my paralysis on all this stuff.
Note: I'm not a pack rat. It's not that. I just lack any pragmatic understanding of how to integrate possessions in my living space or my life. I was born without those genes somehow.
I just found out that I've got to move out of my apartment in a month. And my mom's selling my childhood home in a month, and I need to get all my stored stuff (e.g. lots of books and records) out of there in a month or so. I'm going to need to just throw things into storage, because in a month I ALSO will start two months of rigorous travel. There's no time to arrange new housing before then, and, anyway, it'd be silly to pay rent on an apartment I'd not see for two months.
I guess the smart move is a massive disposal of possessions. It'll mean less to move and store, less pressure on the moving-in end later, and just the yogic relief of less weight and encumbrance.
I'm ambivalent about dispossessing. If I blinked my eye and 95% of my least-used possessions vanished, I'd be more or less ok with it. Plus, for the first time in my life I'm making a good salary, so I can afford to replace stuff I get rid of if necessary (goodbye band-aids from 1986!). But there are other concerns. I'm already starting to forget vast tracts of my life (which has been dense and complicated) and in these boxes are the only reminders/connections. I don't ever enjoy those reminders/connections - except once in a blue moon, when I decide whether to dispose of them, which is my sole point of contact with the objects that mean something to me! But I may value them later, and I feel an obligation to my elder self to maintain some bridges. On the other hand, the way things are going with AYP, I doubt my elder self will be particularly sentimental or attached.
I'm having trouble thinking clearly, because obviously this sort of thing is my Achilles heel to begin with, plus it's rattling to be losing contact with the house I was born in, and all this upheaval at once is likewise rattling. I find moving super stressful - for the usual reasons, plus the fact that it thrusts in my face my own psychic blind spot.
But I'm also quite sure this is happening at the right moment to teach me, and to throw light on the dark spot. And the only conceivable answer, therefore, is to dispossess, and to do so peacefully.
I have way too much stuff to put on eBay (and those drop-off eBay services all seem sleazy), so I'm planning to give stuff away. Any thoughts on any of this, pragmatic, yogic, or psychological? |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jul 15 2006 10:55:09 PM |
|
|
Scott
USA
969 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2006 : 11:23:23 PM
|
Jim, I agree with you that the best idea seems to be to throw everything away. Do you really need to remember your early life? If you don't use the stuff, then why keep it? There's no sense in keeping boxes filled with useless things.
My opinion...the desire to keep the stuff is only unconscious fear. Probably fear of truly living free. No matter how advanced we are, as long as we aren't enlightened we're still unconsciously holding onto things. I think it's good to see what we're scared of letting go.
I don't think letting go, or throwing your stuff away, is as important as just recognizing that you're holding on. I'm sure you could keep the stuff, and eventually that tiny attachment would dissolve.
But keeping the stuff just doesn't make sense! |
 |
|
|
Anthem
1608 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2006 : 11:34:23 PM
|
Two words: garage sale!
Four thoughts that have come to mind at times recently that may or may not help: 1- Nothing is permanent (this physical world just makes it last a little longer), 2- we can't hold on no matter how hard we try, 3- we have nothing to begin with we just think we do and 4- we all know how letting go can set us free.
Why see moving as stressful, how about choosing to see it as a cleansing opportunity and/ or a chance to start fresh as the new you that you have become from all the yoga practices? Be reborn and let the old Jim pass away. Not literally of course!!! |
|
|
|
Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2006 : 11:42:59 PM
|
| Jim - I think that Scott and Andrew have given great advice, particularly at this juncture in your life. It's curious how we work so hard to let go of our karmic baggage, and yet we hold onto our material baggage. I do it too. Saving stuff for my old age, assuming that I'll get there, just so I can remember my past, which I so diligently try to relinquish through meditation. God help us if in our old age all we have to do is sit around thumbing through boxes of musty memories. |
|
|
|
Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 12:44:37 AM
|
Thanks, all.
quote:
Originally posted by Scott
My opinion...the desire to keep the stuff is only unconscious fear. Probably fear of truly living free. No matter how advanced we are, as long as we aren't enlightened we're still unconsciously holding onto things. I think it's good to see what we're scared of letting go.
Oh, the fear is plenty conscious. As is my awareness of my own ability to physically let go of possessions I've psychologically let go of. But it's never been my experience that awareness of faults and blocks heals them much. :)
It's all very linked into the fear of impermanence, I know. What will become of my beloved toy crocodile after I die? Shall I be buried with him? I recoil at the thought of him being consumed by earthworms, though that fate for me doesn't "feel" as troubling. Blind spots galore, sigh...
quote:
Originally posted by AnthemTwo words: garage sale!
Two words: urban center!
As for letting the old Jim go, the problem is that the new Jim is closely related. In fact, there's a new Jim every moment, but I'm still able to complete this posting without discarding what I wrote 30 secs ago as obsolete, and I'll keep the bookmark in the book on my bed, etc etc.
The old Jim went to places and gathered things and ideas worth holding on to. There are wheels I'd prefer not to reinvent, and feelings/ideas/memories that haven't baked in to my psyche (or need to be rebaked now that I have new fluency with my oven). But it's a where do you draw the line issue. A great big huge one! |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jul 16 2006 01:40:46 AM |
|
|
|
Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 03:08:49 AM
|
| Another practical angle that you might consider: I've been contemplating taking snapshots of some of the things I like but which I need to get rid of. A snapshot of your stuffed crocodile may be as meaningful as the real deal. Old family photos conjure up as many memories as articles from your past, but are so much easier to store. |
|
|
|
bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 03:43:14 AM
|
| Interesting question, Jim, I have a similar problem letting go of mementos. It is like they are proof of something that I might want to use in my biography... when it is clear that there are people who want to read my biography... and so letting go of a memento is letting go of a fantasy of significance, not just to me, but to my public... or rather accepting that I don't have a public and probably never will have a public... except you guys... any one want to see my third grade report card? |
|
|
|
Sparkle
Ireland
1457 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 05:25:07 AM
|
Hi Jim
Both myself and my wife are natural horders.
We are working on this, more or less all the time, we seem to be continually looking to get rid of stuff and sometimes we are able to let something go and other time not quite ready.
There seems to be an emotional release every time I let something go and so it is the emotional grasping that makes me want to keep something.
I was also going to suggest the photographing idea of Megs. If you have or could borrow a digital camera you could put everything on a single CD and that would be it - the chances are you will never look at it again.
My family home burned down when us kids were in our twenties and my Mother always said it was the best thing that ever happened. She instantly got rid of all the junk. All my comics in the attic gone, no big deal when it goes like that, but I would probably still have them and be wondering where to put them if not for the fire.
So this thing being foisted upon you does'nt look too much of a problem to me, I almost wish I had the same problem. I often get the desire to just clear everything I own and just be without any physical baggage, maybe this will give me a spur in this direction.
Best of luck
Louis
|
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 09:42:56 AM
|
Jim,
IMHO just let it go. If you have not seen them in all these years.. and they are still packed up in boxes.. you will not miss them. If however you think you may need them some day.. put them up in storage... (esp. since you can afford it today).... Don't waste energy and time thinking of what should be done with them. not worth the effort. As you said after few more years of AYP.. you will be able to throw them out without giving it a second thought. All you will lose is the money you pay to store them till then.. hey worth every dime if it puts your mind at ease today...
Shweta.
PS:If you do want to give them away.. not sure what you have saved up.. but drop them off somewhere they can be some use to someone.. charity, thrift store, Salvation army.. church.. homeless shelter.. |
|
|
|
Manipura
USA
870 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 10:10:27 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by bewell
Interesting question, Jim, I have a similar problem letting go of mementos. It is like they are proof of something that I might want to use in my biography... when it is clear that there are people who want to read my biography... and so letting go of a memento is letting go of a fantasy of significance, not just to me, but to my public...
...and then there's the onerous task of having to label and sort everything for the historians, who'll undoubtedly swoop in at the moment of your death...  |
|
|
|
david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 10:51:51 AM
|
Jim,
I hate to say it, and I hate to go against the crowd here, but I really think you need to hold onto all this stuff.
Jim said:
What will become of my beloved toy crocodile after I die? Shall I be buried with him? I recoil at the thought of him being consumed by earthworms, though that fate for me doesn't "feel" as troubling. Blind spots galore, sigh...
Well yes and, that toy crocodile could go to a bad home, and even get thrown out and get consumed by earthworms within weeks if you don't protect it by keeping it with you!!
Anthem said:
1- Nothing is permanent (this physical world just makes it last a little longer), 2- we can't hold on no matter how hard we try
Andrew is partially right, though he is heading in the wrong direction: it's true that the physical world is impermanent, but the least we can do is hold on tight while we are still here.
Meg said:
...and then there's the onerous task of having to label and sort everything for the historians, who'll undoubtedly swoop in at the moment of your death...
Meg skirts with the truth, but leads you in the wrong direction too: leaving the historians unsorted and unlabeled stuff when you die is far better than leaving them nothing at all. So no, don't sort and label for the historians, just keep it around for them. All the sorting and labelling of your stuff when you are dead will give meaning to their lives.
so I'm planning to give stuff away
No, no, no, if you absolutely must get rid of it, the least you can do is get something back. Where do you think this is going to end up if you continue with this giving implulse? There will be nothing left for Jim.
Thinking of YOU always,
Your friend,
Satan
|
|
|
|
Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 11:00:57 AM
|
One more offer Jim.. not sure how much stuff you have.. but you could mail it to me.. I will store it in my basement for you.. You won't even have to pay rent for it.. I promise.. 
|
|
|
|
Jim and His Karma
2111 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 11:40:27 AM
|
Sparkle, thanks, that helped. Shanti, thanks, but there's storage galore near me. Bewell, though I sometimes daydream of shooting certain political figures, it's not going to happen, so I'll surely stay off historian radar.
David...so you really ARE The Prince of Darkness. If I cook you a filet of sole, can you get me a date with Halle Berry?
BTW, I'd already considered the bad home possibility for crocodile. |
Edited by - Jim and His Karma on Jul 16 2006 11:44:36 AM |
|
|
|
Yoda
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 5:34:36 PM
|
Jim,
You are too short on time to even consider this issue properly. Just stow it and focus on your move and travels and deal with it later. Where are you going?
-Yoda |
|
|
|
LittleDragon
29 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2006 : 11:26:27 PM
|
Golly Jim, I sure hope Yogani doesn't get caught up in this dispossesion craze and delete all of your old posts.
You may just disappeared into the void with a smile, like that cat that Alice ran into. |
|
|
|
david_obsidian
USA
2602 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2006 : 1:08:23 PM
|
Ah LittleDragon! Phew! For a minute I thought Jim's LittleCrocodile had logged into the forum!
|
|
|
|
Yoda
USA
284 Posts |
Posted - Jul 18 2006 : 02:43:27 AM
|
quote:
Ah LittleDragon! Phew!
Another scary moment on the Internet! |
|
|
|
Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2006 : 12:27:08 AM
|
"flea markets" work better than garage sales if you have one. I like to sell stuff really cheap, in an effort to get out of there by noon. |
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Forced to Confront My Possessions
