|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 7:33:51 PM
|
From inner silence the call to engage in brahmacharya arose a few months ago, and I've been very solid in not deviating from this commitment.
It highlights for me two different ways of implementing a change in one's life:
1. Will/Effort/attempting to control/resistance. In the past, I've wished to be free of the sexual impulse, as it was always leading me into relationships (sometimes very short term!) with girls that were based only on lust and inevitably caused problems. Such licentious behavior made me feel ashamed of myself, despite the fact that amongst young men of my age and culture it's very popular to be promiscuous. It is sad to say, but my own father, brother, and peers are all prey to this cultural/biological hypnosis that its completely acceptable for a man's sexual desire to be a lowly, worldly thing based only upon physical desire. For many years I was absorbed in this same cultural and biological hypnosis, seeing the people who took the reverse stance as uptight puritans, yet my heart knew the truth, that I was capable of evolving toward a higher ethical standard. So I attempted to change my behavior, by making a sincere effort to do so. Failed repeatedly. Such is often the way of trying to use will and effort for accomplishments.
2. Gently "Favoring" better behavior from established witness consciousness/inner silence/Effort-less change. The only real way to for lasting change. It didn't come out of shame, or disgust at my behavior, as identification with the body-mind, which produces a sense of self who can be shamed, was already falling away. From this perspective the impulse toward Brahmacharya has been natural.
Rather than beating myself up and trying to force the new behavior, I simply tended towards dispassionate contemplation of my actions and lustful behavior. Not even with the aim of changing anything, just to simply see the behavior from a detached view. I would play out the entire sexual scenario, from beginning to end, in my mind, dispassionately watching myself in my mind. Inquiring into the behavior: Does it bring lasting happiness? Why do I do it? How will I feel afterwards? What will be the consequences on the other person?
Instead of trying to control the body-mind, from the perspective of the super-ego, I just made an intelligent appraisal of the actions from the resistance-free perspective of the witness/awareness. A further inquiry I use when sexual desire arises: Do I, awareness, share the sexual desire of this body-mind? Or alternatively: Who has this desire?
These inquiries naturally evaporate the desire. Hopefully I will now remain steady in Brahmacharya, so far, for past few months, it has been natural and easy.
Pure intelligent reason and inquiry, free from all passion and will-power, was the best approach.
There's so much "use your will power" advice on brahmacharya, some of it from enlightened Yogis that I highly respect, but I honestly thing it's wrong-headed, cultivate inner silence first, then will-power will hardly be necessary. |
|
|
Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2013 : 8:31:58 PM
|
This is fantastic. Very candid, very lucid.
For me, the sexual desire has not "evaporated", per se. It's more like it has been drawn away from the flesh and towards a more refined feeling of ecstasy. So, instead of craving the body, as I used to, I crave the non-physical essence--if that makes sense. Well, actually, maybe some carnal cravings do still arise, but they very quickly get absorbed into the higher neurobiology. Recently, the vajroli mudra has worked incredibly well, and I can come inwardly many times. I mean, it's pretty crazy. The orgasmic sensations rush up into the third eye and crown. And then the whole body is pulsing with a shimmer of blissful bubbles. Very subtle, very close to stillness. It's like gentle lightning that is softly striking for purposes of purification and opening. I had been struggling with the ejaculation response (both solo and with partner) until very recently, but the momentum of the upward pull is finally taking off. The spine is truly the superconductor and highway of this flow.
Thanks for posting this, and it's highly advantageous and appealing that Yogani presents brahmacharya not only in the light of conservation/abstinence, but also within the element of cultivation/stimulation. |
 |
|
|
mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Aug 20 2013 : 8:44:36 PM
|
Thanks Bodhi. Yes, I didn't mean the sexual desire has a evaporated permanently, it's more a case of it evaporates when the inquiry is performed. The vajroli mudra sounds good!
If and when I enter a serious love relationship, in the future, I'll give it a go! |
|
|
|
mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2013 : 5:43:34 PM
|
Just using this as a log on Brahmacharya practice and results, as I feel it might be useful for other young men, just like myself, to hear about and consider. I wish I'd kept a note of exactly when I started Brahmacharya but I believe it was sometime in June this year, so complete sexual continence has been kept for 3 - 4 months now.
I can say that for this entire period, the body-mind has been in constant a state of equanimity and peace, and an almost constant happiness. At some points of course, difficult emotional energy has arisen for purification, but there has been no identification with that energy. The energy has merely arisen, been fully felt and witnessed, and then passed away. Even this experience of intense emotional energy has not really been disturbing to the general levels of equanimity, even though there were two specific occasions during which intensely buried, very fierce, core emotional fears came into awareness - subtle energies that had been affecting conditioning and desires for my entire lifetime.
The continence seems to affect one's character, actually increasing one's sense of masculine confidence, self-respect and simultaneously respect, kindness, helpfulness and consideration of others.
It's hard to say how much of what is happening results from the Brahmacharya, and how much of what is happening is linked to my other main practices: largely raw vegan diet, twice daily AYP, constant turning of attention back on awareness every minute of the day and daily asana routine with self inquiry. However, the sense is the practice is immensely beneficial.
Sexual desire still arises obviously, though less frequently, but it's just not gripping the mind and forcing the body to act on it anymore. There have been opportunities to have sex, but apart from noticing the energy of desire appearing in the body, there has been no really temptation to act on it. Who can say if I will remain able to continue with this practice, as with all things, it seemed to occur by grace, rather than will power and struggling. However if it does continue, I hope to keep writing about its effects and how it develops.
The whole sexual desire thing is a big one. Celibacy is a very unpopular idea in the West, and oft-derided as sometimes it seems to result in people (including many fallen Gurus) acting out suppressed desire in extremely perverse or gratuitous manner. I've never tried for long to suppress sexual desire, in fact personally have always tended toward being a bit of a rascal, been highly averse to dogmatic moral codes, and had a "if it feels good, and seems fun, go for it" attitude, and I stand by this, it's just the conditioning of this body-mind. It just so happens that in this case, Brahmacharya feels much better, and happier, than acting on sexual desire, so I'm still living by the "if it feels good, go for it" philosophy. 
Who knows what relevance it has to spiritual progress. There are some teachers who claim it's irrelevant, others like Sivananda who say its absolutely essential and 12 years of Brahmacharya will result in automatic self-realization, and many shades in between. |
Edited by - mr_anderson on Sep 16 2013 5:56:21 PM |
|
|
|
Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2013 : 6:32:20 PM
|
Righteous. The path of pleasure leads to more sublime and breathtaking ways of being. I just keep getting blown away by the divine feminine in Her transcendent, non-physical form. I mean how good can She get!?!  There's no ceiling in sight. Divine lovemaking.
Holding the seed results in the opening of portals, man. What a trip!
Thanks for sharing the update and reflection. Lots of resonance from over here.
...InneR...SenSuaLitY... |
|
|
|
bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2013 : 6:45:56 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
The continence seems to affect one's character, actually increasing one's sense of masculine confidence, self-respect and simultaneously respect, kindness, helpfulness and consideration of others.
Excellent results thus far!
 |
|
|
|
_shakti_
Canada
48 Posts |
Posted - Sep 17 2013 : 02:43:20 AM
|
Hi mr_anderson, I just wanted to say that I can relate to practically everything you said in your latest post. Except, I am most definitely not a man, lol.. it seems the period of natural bramacharya even began at around the same time.. in June for me as well.
I've been technically celibate for longer than that, but not completely continent. I had heard about the many benefits for years, but didn't feel any real desire to act on it until June. It was the way a relationship of mine ended that inspired me to begin this period. And in some ways I feel freed by it.
I no longer feel sexual desire localized at the genitals or the svadhisthana chakra, it streams all throughout, and can even extend further than I ever thought possible. Recently I wrote of an orgasmic experience that was probably the most powerful spiritual experience I've ever had. I know unequivocally that that happened because of my period of bramacharya.
I'm also more aware of the flow of kundalini/shakti within me than ever before. I had a throat chakra blockage for quite some time, and I tried many things to dissolve it, with only temporary success. But lately, I feel that ecstatic arousal in my throat.. right where I used to feel a painful lump. Perhaps it is being worked out now? And if that is the case, I know what to thank. That and as you had pointed out for yourself.. my own daily practices.
I too feel constantly happy. In fact, I have literally never felt this happy in my entire life, and it's for no outward discernible reason.. which is even more amazing. It's like a constant flow of joy and bliss. Yes life happens, and things come up to be cleared.. but I always return to this state of 'just because' happiness.
In fact, I feel as though I am in love.. yet it isn't tied to anything. If there is a 'problem' associated with any of this, it's the fact that I feel somewhat guarded about it.. like I don't want anyone to come along and 'ruin' it, lol.
As a woman, it isn't so much the sexual thoughts that need to be battled.. it's the seemingly natural desire to find a partner. In the absence of one.. I would often find a way to placate my mind with fantasies.. but even that is now dropping away. Leaving ever more room for my greatest love.
At times I feel a bit 'crazy', as though I am high on it and wondering when I will just come crashing down. But it hasn't happened yet and seems to have taken on it's own fascinating ebb and flow. A wave I've enjoyed riding immensely :)
|
Edited by - _shakti_ on Sep 17 2013 04:56:35 AM |
|
|
|
Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2013 : 05:55:00 AM
|
| ok, Mr. Anderson, just to be clear: You are using the term "bramacharya" in a different and more specific way than what is meant by the term classically and in its use here at AYP. It sounds like you are referring to celibacy per se, as opposed to bramacharya in the tantric sense of "preserving and cultivating the divine energy"? |
|
|
|
mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2013 : 09:36:57 AM
|
Hi Radharani,
I know the difference in meaning, yes: Of course one can be a Brahmachari and also have sex, but just retain fluid, but one can also be a Brahmachari and be celibate. AYP does tend to refer to the former meaning, whereas several other teachings that I am a part of, such as Gnan Vidhi/Dadabhagwan, tend to use the term to mean Celibacy.
Irrespective, retaining fluid, whether via celibacy or holdback, for purpose of increased energy for spiritual practice, is a valid spiritual practice.
Also, just in terms of my own personal situation, since there has been a natural dropping away of agitating/lustful sexual desire, there's been a great increase in happiness, peace, bliss and love. I tried the AYP meaning of Brahmacharya, but it didn't get to the root of the issue, which was identification with sexual desire.
Since identity shifted into formless awareness/stillness more solidly, it's become easy to let go of desires as they arise, rather than being compelled to act on them, because it's experientially known that happiness does not come from objects, it comes from the knowing of one's own being.
I have no comment to make on Tantric path versus Renunciant path, since the efficacy of each path depends entirely on the personal condition of the practitioner and the nature of their lust and sexual desire. In some cases, for example in the instance of a loving, deeply committed relationship, I feel certain that tantric Brahmacharya may take one towards God.
However, in the case where sexual desire is lustful outflow toward an object, outside of a loving relationship, and results in the loss of fluid, this leads away from God, and celibate Brahmacharya may be preferable. This was my case.
I don't preclude a move to tantric brahmacharya if I met someone, but for now, I am not in a relationship, so this case is better for me.
Best wishes, 
Josh |
|
|
|
mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2013 : 09:38:30 AM
|
Hi shakti,
I'm glad you've had such good results with it! Mine also continue.
Best,
Josh |
|
|
|
Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2013 : 04:47:53 AM
|
My dear Mr. Anderson,
I just wanted to clarify that point re: bramacharya because the word can mean different things, as you know, and one of the first discussions I was involved with when I came to AYP a few years ago was regarding that specific issue. AYP and HOY are among the few yoga schools which embrace the deeper understanding of the word, and of sexuality and its place in yoga.
Now when we talk about "celibacy" per se there are additional distinctions to be made. There is the traditional "celibacy" (e.g., Catholic or SRF) in which one tries to suppress or ignore or stomp out one's sexual energies, versus the tantric "celibacy" in which we offer up our sexual energies to God as part of our yogic practice. And that is what we are really doing anyway in Advanced Yoga Practices in our seated meditations.
In any case I wish you all the best and I absolutely agree with you that it is far, far better to be "celibate" than to squander our sexual energy on meaningless trysts. I was [tantric] celibate for 14 years and it was absolutely wonderful, although it unfortunately did not result in the alleged "enlightenment" that is supposed to occur after 12 years. Of course, I think the folks who advocate that theory are referring to the "suppress" form of celibacy, versus the "celebrate" form that I practiced, but IMO they are missing out.
As you mentioned, celibacy is very much looked down upon by our culture. As discussed in previous blog posts, when I was celibate I encountered lots of opposition and criticism. Fortunately I was having so much fun that it didn't matter what anybody thought.
So, I am happy for you and _shakti_ and everybody else who is exploring this delightful lifestyle, assuming you are in fact going about it in the "celebrate" versus "suppress" approach, and I would just like to leave you with this quote from Yogani in tantric lesson 22:
"Another thing - the spiritual path becomes very sexy as ecstasy rises with kundalini. You probably know this already. The whole body can be in an ongoing quasi-orgasmic state any time once the nervous system is purified to a certain level. One devotional thought can set it off. We are living ecstatically then, and running to our meditation seat (siddhasana!) every day. It is a divine romance between the yogi/yogini and God, with lots of juicy sex going on up and down inside. Enlightened celibates have extremely active sex lives with God. For them, the passion never stops."
I still enjoy this although I now have a spouse, because our work schedules conflict and we only have weekends together. But I still have the Lord all by myself the rest of the week. It really is possible to have it All.  May you continue to be blessed.
|
|
|
|
HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2013 : 1:19:30 PM
|
quote:
Originally posted by mr_anderson
(...) Irrespective, retaining fluid, whether via celibacy or holdback, for purpose of increased energy(...)
That's it. The toolbox of exercises & techniques is pretty much the same. It's to us to bring it along wherever life takes us: weeks or months of hermitage, or a turbulent period as a sexually active single, or an uplifting long-term relationship. I prefer the latter, but it wouldn't be too uplifting without the practices (been there before , seen it, got the T-shirt... :-))
|
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
|
|
|
|
Natural Evolution of Brahmacharya
