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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 06 2013 : 7:30:12 PM
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Hey guys,
I've been practicing DM for 7 months now. Twice a day for 20 mins, consistently. Now that summer break has begun, I no longer have any outlet like school to ground myself and test my progress. I still try to ground through lifting weights, playing sports, hanging out with friends etc. But its not the same. And I've started thinking and identifying with those thoughts A LOT more. Basically I feel a rollback of process. Extremely depressing, as I feel all my hard work has gone to waste. I was starting to feel divine love also, but now I have become more self-centered than ever. Can someone please help me out |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 06 2013 : 8:18:46 PM
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Karma yoga. Find a way to be of service that moves beyond your self-contained ideas of enlightenment. If you can't give it away or share it in some form, it's not real. Spiritual practices aren't like working hard so you can fill up a bank account and spend money on your private pleasures. It's more like becoming an instrument and channel for the outpouring of divine love--without expectation of return. The end result is service...not self-contained trances.
This came up for me early on, and it's still very much an ongoing process. I wanted to covet and possess certain shades of bliss and ecstasy. I even e-mailed Yogani and asked him: Why am I not having more 3rd eye visions!?! He replied: An open third eye is not for personal use, Bodhi Tree. Boom!--that was a friendly slap in the face. I realized: Ohhh...I've got to go out in the world and be of use for reasons other than my own personal profit (material or spiritual). But the good news is that we become functional bliss-a-holics when engaged in a modality of service. That is stillness in action.
Godspeed. Follow your dream (ishta). It sounds like you're well on your way.  |
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mathurs
United Kingdom
197 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2013 : 09:29:22 AM
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Bodhi Tree: Your post made me laugh - but exactly what I needed to hear as well! So thanks!
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2013 : 5:32:57 PM
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Made me laugh as well, Bodhi Tree. I like how you said it.
 to you. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2013 : 5:58:31 PM
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Today I was chairing an AA meeting and leading a roundtable discussion about the power of prayer and meditation. I told a story about how a while ago (pre-sobriety and pre-AYP) I was in danger of losing my job, and I prayed to God: "Please God, let me keep this job and I promise I'll stop drinking." Everyone laughed hysterically because the AA old-timers are well-aware of the absurdity of praying for specific outcomes, not to mention the foolishness of trying to barter with God, as if it was a business exchange. To finish the story, I explained how my manager finally told me that I wouldn't lose my job, and so that same night I bought a 6 pack of beer to celebrate. That got even more laughter. So long to my sincere promises. Such is the mind of an addict. LOL. 
Now I've learned to pick up the sutra and let it go...the letting go comprising the bulk of the practice. If things go my way, that's splendid. If things don't go my way, that's equally splendid. I'll take unshakable, unconditional stillness over a string of luck or constant gratification of self-centered desires. |
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winovy
USA
4 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2013 : 9:20:41 PM
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| Bodhi Tree, your previous post is very enlightened. Thank you for sharing. |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Jul 08 2013 : 9:56:43 PM
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Glad the words resonate...thank you...mathurs, AumNaturel,and winovy.  Unity. Strength. Wisdom. |
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