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apatride
New Caledonia
94 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 12 2013 : 10:16:19 PM
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Yesterday I had a breakthrough which I thought could be worse sharing.
Repeating "i am i am i am i am" during DM, I often found myself struggling in keeping my attention focused on the mantra, as a wave of energy would fill my head and leave no room for the mantra...
Struggling to the point that I had sometimes strong pressures in my head, which would let me a dizzy feeling or even an aching head.
So yesterday I was repeating the mantra, then the wave came and I decided I should surrender to it, let it flow... then a few seconds later, "I" was back and able to focus my attention on the mantra again.
It went like this again and again, with a sense of inner space widening after each wave.
So I'm thinking maybe this wave is stillness, I should surrender to it when it comes and allow to be dissolved by it. Struggling to keep a sense of "I" focusing on the mantra is too much effort, better be dissolved then come back when the energy rush allows it.
Does it make sense to you? |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2013 : 5:40:56 PM
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Hi Apatride,
I think you have it right. It is not about holding on to the mantra or letting it go, it is about repeating the mantra, losing it (to thoughts, wave of stillness, sleep, bliss, energy) and then coming back to it. It is in the "moments" when we realize that we have lost it and come back to the mantra, we touch a gap... getting in touch with this gap is the inner silence we are trying to cultivate in meditation. As we keep going we will touch this gap/inner silence more and more and it will become longer and longer and will start becoming more a part of our life.
So struggling to stay on the mantra is the last thing we want to do.
Here are a few lessons that may help:
http://www.aypsite.org/79.html
http://www.aypsite.org/366.html
The essential point to grasp in approaching deep meditation is that it is not about structuring anything in the mind. It is just the opposite. In fact, if we are putting too much structure into the process, we could get a headache or other symptoms of strain, which we call "forcing the mantra." We gain in deep meditation by losing the mantra (again and again), not by hanging on to it. That is the secret. If we take care of that in our daily sittings, everything else will take care of itself in due course.
http://www.aypsite.org/14.html
During meditation, we know the process is working when
we lose the mantra and later find ourselves in some other thoughts.
During the meditation procedure, these other thoughts are a symptom
that something has been released. Recognizing that, we go back to the
mantra and continue the process. It is important to be easy with the
mantra, not hanging on to a clear mental pronunciation, not hanging
on to an unclear mental pronunciation, no hanging on at all, just
easily being with it. If we develop this habit if easiness, the mind
will settle into its silence naturally. It is a natural process of
our mind we are facilitating.
Often it is just losing the mantra, having some pleasant unaccounted
for time of no mantra and no thoughts, then becoming aware of
thoughts again, and then going back to the mantra. The cleansing
process goes on. This is perfect meditation. This is the habit we
want to cultivate in meditation every day, for it will lead us to the
infinite. |
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Surrendering in DM
