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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 21 2013 : 8:05:26 PM
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Well, this is very interesting, indeed. (See my recent post, "Thanks Shanti!"
When my reality abruptly changed in May of 2011, the meditative state burst out and became my waking reality. The monkey-mind shut up, I became constantly aware of the presence of God and I was overwhelmed with Bliss. Based on the AYP model, I assumed stages 1 & 2 had hit me all at once because there was so much ecstasy. [I'm not calling it "enlightenment"; as I said before, it feels more like "liberation" and I am not making any claims...] Since then I have been walking around totally in Love, in an orgasmic state, with this ego being translucent and the body like an interface with the Universe (as opposed to a separate solid object). There has been lots of purification lately, too, resulting in more openness.
But, what happened the other day, triggered by Shanti's painting and the resulting flood of bhakti, has taken the ecstasy to a whole new mind-blowing level!
Yogani says in Lesson 35: "The second stage is like falling into an endless abyss of ecstasy... the boundaries are dissolving."
That is exactly what it feels like. The intensity has been turned WAY up and the Presence is just so palpable, the Love so overwhelming that it nearly takes my breath away. Physically I have that "tripping" sensation where the body feels like it is composed of little hollow tubes of colored light with divine Love just pouring through the tubes.
It was extremely overwhelming, to the point of being a little scary at first, but as of today I have kind of melted into the ecstasy, and the blissful silence has deepened at the same time.
I've been taking it easy the last few days, as my nights have been occupied with meditation and not much sleep, so slept in again today. Feel like I am on vacation/honeymoon.   
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Edited by - Radharani on Mar 21 2013 8:29:04 PM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2013 : 8:13:33 PM
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Sounds Beautiful!
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2013 : 8:27:47 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
Sounds Beautiful!
thanks again! and it's wonderful sharing that Love with you. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2013 : 03:01:21 AM
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2013 : 03:39:02 AM
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I've had very short experiences or tastes of this same state... I can't imagine how it must feel like to be living like that 24\7... Again, thank you for being a source of inspiration in this forum... I was talking with a friend yesterday... He was telling me something he read Amma saying and it is that the more we progress the more the purification gets harder.... And we've been going through hard phases such as this ourselves... Till the extent where we both desire just to disappear from existence... And I automatically answered him but there are people who have made it... One of them is right there in AYP now pouring her heart out in public and this is really appreciated...
Much love to you dear Radharani |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2013 : 03:42:40 AM
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quote:
the more we progress the more the purification gets harder....
it seems to me it is the opposite....cause the practioner identifies less with the purification that is happening |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2013 : 04:44:50 AM
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| One of the many experiences I've been through... But it gets even harder till the extent that it consumes you... At that point you don't have the freedom to identify or not... You are the pain or worse anger... I've been going gently on myself during the last month or so and self pacing a lot... This has made a lot of difference... |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2013 : 5:38:57 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
quote:
the more we progress the more the purification gets harder....
it seems to me it is the opposite....cause the practioner identifies less with the purification that is happening
Well, I agree, Maha, from where I am now. BUT on the other hand, I have noticed a definite increase in the AMOUNT and INTENSITY of purification since my reality shift in 2011, so I think I can sympathize with what Ananda is saying. It's like life/the Universe sends us more stuff and/or our practice stirs up more stuff that is lodged in our chakras or whatever. And actually, the overwhelming nature of it (as Ananda describes) helped me to let go more and deepened my faith. As Steve Ross says in his book "Happy Yoga," it turns out that everything in life is perfect for our liberation at that point in time. So there is for sure a lot of sh*t happening, although I don't take it personally anymore. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2013 : 5:47:34 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ananda
I've had very short experiences or tastes of this same state... I can't imagine how it must feel like to be living like that 24\7... Again, thank you for being a source of inspiration in this forum... I was talking with a friend yesterday... He was telling me something he read Amma saying and it is that the more we progress the more the purification gets harder.... And we've been going through hard phases such as this ourselves... Till the extent where we both desire just to disappear from existence... And I automatically answered him but there are people who have made it... One of them is right there in AYP now pouring her heart out in public and this is really appreciated...
Much love to you dear Radharani
Dear Ananda,
That's how it was for me in the past - I would have brief experiences of this state, mostly in meditation, sometimes for a whole day or so, and then finally one day it just burst out and took over my entire waking existence. And then more recently it went to a whole new level of even more intensity.
I am really glad that sharing about my experience has provided encouragement and inspiration to others; that was my hope. I want to say yes, it IS worth it, keep doing your yoga, you WILL get results if you persist!
As far as the "desire to disappear from existence," oh yeah, been there, done that, for sure! My best advice in that regard, or at least what worked for me, is just to throw oneself at the Lord's feet and cry and cling to Him with all your strength.
Continue your practice and self-pacing and it will all be worth it, I promise. Much Love to you. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2013 : 6:11:54 PM
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| Namaste |
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2013 : 10:53:50 PM
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Thanks for sharing Radharani.
Interesting about intensified purification. Have wondered about this lately..
Could it be that things that come up in the beginning stages are issues/blocks held a bit more on the "surface" and therefore easier to let go.. and with deeper diving, there is also deeper "digging" into stuff held more dearly and thus harder to let go? Or is it that there is so much more clarity with deepening silence that everything is magnified? Certainly seems like it is harder at times - recently, I had an issue come up and stubbornly stay "in my face", not allowing any distraction or turning away, until it was looked into directly and on a very, very deep level. It lasted for days - finally, undoing it (painful process) resulted in a whoosh of expansion and space.. And an abyss of ecstasy 
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2013 : 04:45:13 AM
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quote:
Well, I agree, Maha, from where I am now. BUT on the other hand, I have noticed a definite increase in the AMOUNT and INTENSITY of purification
True...very true....the purification is never easy and it gets harder..but as you slowly see through the obstructions, the grip of the obstructions get less and less.....and you see that all is happening perfectly
Love |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2013 : 08:31:22 AM
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Hang in there... |
Edited by - whippoorwill on Mar 25 2013 10:27:06 AM |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Mar 23 2013 : 5:00:21 PM
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Sorry my friend but I've deleted my post... Thank you for your support...
Love,
Ananda |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Mar 25 2013 : 11:19:54 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by kami
Thanks for sharing Radharani.
Interesting about intensified purification. Have wondered about this lately..
Could it be that things that come up in the beginning stages are issues/blocks held a bit more on the "surface" and therefore easier to let go.. and with deeper diving, there is also deeper "digging" into stuff held more dearly and thus harder to let go? Or is it that there is so much more clarity with deepening silence that everything is magnified? Certainly seems like it is harder at times - recently, I had an issue come up and stubbornly stay "in my face", not allowing any distraction or turning away, until it was looked into directly and on a very, very deep level. It lasted for days - finally, undoing it (painful process) resulted in a whoosh of expansion and space.. And an abyss of ecstasy
Yes, I have wondered exactly the same things. Certainly as we dive deeper we encounter more stuff that is perhaps more firmly lodged or whatever, and/or we are just seeing it more clearly due to the silence. But in my experience (and that of other yogis I know in similar situations), it's not just an internal phenomenon; rather, actual events/challenges in the external world over which we have little or no control, have become more frequent and intense.
It was suggested to me by a friend here at AYP that the external events are a result of negative thinking on my part which made them happen. However, I doubt this both because I disagree with the premise (that our thoughts make stuff happen externally), and also because I do not in fact have many negative thoughts to begin with, nor do the other people I know in this situation, who are extremely positive, God-centered individuals. It almost appears as if the universe is providing "opportunities" where the external events bring up our "stuff" so we can move through it, towards greater liberation.
Either way, I will say it's a good thing that the intense purification is happening now - after my "reality shift" - because if all this sh*t had happened previously, I probably would have committed suicide. I would not have been able to handle it without being firmly rooted in the deep silence and bliss. From this perspective I am able to see it as perfect for my ongoing liberation, and even "amusing" like in the sense of the Alanis Morrisette song, "Ironic," whereas before it would have been super depressing. |
Edited by - Radharani on Mar 25 2013 11:26:44 PM |
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Yonatan
Israel
849 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 08:28:48 AM
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| Beautiful, Radharani |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 7:24:43 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Yonatan
Beautiful, Radharani
thanks Yonatan. |
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Arman
Australia
47 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2013 : 08:32:22 AM
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This is all so wonderfully appealing to my monkey brain... :)
I don't understand what it means by the purification getting 'harder'.
Do you mean it is more straining to the ego? The sensations are more difficult on the heart? |
Edited by - Arman on Apr 12 2013 08:37:18 AM |
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Abyss of Ecstasy
