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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 6:36:31 PM
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| Hi guys, I have been meditating for about 4 months (AYP deep meditation for one). Over these past few months I've been noticing a side effect that's been starting to annoy me a bit lately. I can't make smalltalk with anyone. I just get bored of the topic unless its actually worth discussing/important. I don't mean this in an egoic way, in fact its bothering me. On the other hand, I save a lot of energy over needless arguments/discussions, so thats always a plus. Anyone else had these experiences? |
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apatride
New Caledonia
94 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 7:12:56 PM
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I have the opposite effet : I was unable to do any smalltalk, and now I can do it with anyone : friends, colleagues or strangers met in the street.
I find pleasure in smalltalk because I was before focused on the interest of talk, and now I'm appreciating more and more the simple fact that I'm bonding with people, even for a few minutes and with no need to build a strong relations with them.
It's just energy and information passing from one pole to another pole, basically. Smalltalk is the form it takes, but the real enjoyment is the underlying exchange. |
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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 7:49:07 PM
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| Maybe I need to wait to see the effects you described? |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 7:57:15 PM
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I'm like apatride, I enjoy saying something that is not meant to be discussed or important at all. It is just meant to express something that I observe as I walk by somebody, that they are probably observing too.
It usually causes them to say something and have a little feeling, which people like. It's fun. People have a shield up against strangers, and if you do this they usually drop it, and feel like you are on their side.
The trick is never refer to them, only something you both observe; the weather, somebody acting strange, whatever,
it doesn't matter, and people feel at ease when they feel it doesn't matter because they relax. |
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apatride
New Caledonia
94 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 8:04:29 PM
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A good start for smalltalk is to ask questions to your interlocutor. Make them speak about them, what they feel, their experiences. Ask them to develop the details you are interested in. So you get to know them and you can relate to shared experiences or feelings. But in all cases, you can do long smalltalks without speaking much yourself  |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
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Chaz
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 9:25:11 PM
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I went through this phase, even remarked to my best friend once that small talk really IS small. Never wanted to be bothered hearing people go on and on while I just smiled and nodded to look interested. I never liked the idea of such mundane conversations... I like to go really deep with people. But these days it has nothing to do with how intellectually deep the conversation gets, as long as I'm entertained and they're entertained, even when it's such a goofy conversation like how awesome sloths are. It's all about having a good laugh sometimes and bonding in that way.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l...n9o1_500.jpg   |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 10:08:37 PM
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I love sloths.
A couple years ago near here, they found bones of a ground sloth that was 10 feet long, and weighed 800 pounds,
along with bones of mastodons and mammoths, at the Snowmastodon project.
But the earliest sloths in North America, 2.2 million years ago, weighed 5 tons and were 6 meters long, with foot long claws. That's bigger than an elephant!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Eremotherium.jpg
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Edited by - Etherfish on Feb 26 2013 10:26:31 PM |
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 12:05:06 AM
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Do you mean Sid is dead??!!!
Sey |
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apatride
New Caledonia
94 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 12:19:06 AM
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| Do you mean Sid was 10 feet long and weighed 800 pounds??!!! |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 08:41:07 AM
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| Who is Sid? |
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Goodway
USA
99 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 09:11:35 AM
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Small talk gets in the way of a lot of serious progress, yet, there are simply times when it must be done.
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Edited by - Goodway on Feb 27 2013 09:16:40 AM |
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escapado
Germany
88 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 11:23:45 AM
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I noticed both sides of which you are talking
Sometimes I'd rather enjoy the subtle feeling of silence I got to through sadhana and sometimes the practice just makes me want to share my happiness (which makes smalltalk more lighthearted and beautiful) |
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woosa
United Kingdom
382 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 11:39:32 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Who is Sid?
You really don't know Sid? 
Yeah I agree with others, it's a phase. I went through it myself, but it got a bit boring after a while, so I started making conversation with people. You'll find that it's a joy just talking rubbish to someone.
I heard on the radio that women say 13,000 more words than a man, a day. So if you are a man don't feel too bad. A woman said "Well of course we talk that much, we have to repeat ourselves at least twice because the man hasn't listened the first time." So true.
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Edited by - woosa on Feb 27 2013 11:39:58 AM |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 11:52:20 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by woosa
I heard on the radio that women say 13,000 more words than a man, a day. So if you are a man don't feel too bad. A woman said "Well of course we talk that much, we have to repeat ourselves at least twice because the man hasn't listened the first time." So true.
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 12:02:58 PM
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quote:
Who is Sid?
Small talk is dead |
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woosa
United Kingdom
382 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 12:16:18 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
quote:
Who is Sid?
Small talk is dead
Thanks for that, I didn't know who Sid was either. |
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 4:41:25 PM
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Sid is a Sloth! In the movie, Ice Age.
Can you tell I have kids?
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 4:49:29 PM
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Hi ak33. I agree with the great advice above. The impatience with smalltalk will pass, and you'll enjoy shooting the breeze with someone just because they're there and it's all vastly entertaining.
Until then, if you're around people who don't like silence and like to fill it up with smalltalk, just ask them questions about themselves. Maybe something they say will tickle your fancy and get you talking. |
Edited by - whippoorwill on Feb 27 2013 4:50:23 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 7:14:03 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by whippoorwill
Sid is a Sloth! In the movie, Ice Age.
Can you tell I have kids?
Thanks. Yes, Sid does appear to be a ground sloth, although they made him closer to the 800 pound baby than the five ton kind! Today's sloths are tree sloths, something probably not enjoyed much by the five ton animals. |
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Goodway
USA
99 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 8:31:31 PM
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I'm a sloth, in real life! Or is that too ridiculous? And here the door is shut!
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ak33
Canada
229 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 10:36:01 PM
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| Thanks for the advice everyone |
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Chaz
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 11:35:03 PM
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LOL I never knew sloths were that huge! And funny it was mentioned here because my friend was sending me all these funny pictures of sloths (she does it all the time ) and this one was synchronistically hilarious for me...
http://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/51...23274544.jpg
For those of you who don't know Sid, please go watch Ice Age it's such a classic and Sid is incredibly funny.  |
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Goodway
USA
99 Posts |
Posted - Feb 27 2013 : 11:48:05 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Chaz
LOL I never knew sloths were that huge! And funny it was mentioned here because my friend was sending me all these funny pictures of sloths (she does it all the time ) and this one was synchronistically hilarious for me...
http://img0.etsystatic.com/000/0/51...23274544.jpg
For those of you who don't know Sid, please go watch Ice Age it's such a classic and Sid is incredibly funny.
Heh, since my kundalini arose, I've probably had about 10,000 synchronistic happenings. (Not tooting my own horn, here.)
Sid is a very cute character, and John Leguizamo plays some fantastic roles with a high amount of psychological diversity.
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1571 Posts |
Posted - Feb 28 2013 : 12:06:54 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by apatride
Do you mean Sid was 10 feet long and weighed 800 pounds??!!!
Maybe he ate the mammoth??
I love Smalltalk ! |
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Chaz
USA
129 Posts |
Posted - Feb 28 2013 : 12:56:47 AM
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| Indeed, there's been such an abundance of synchronicity since I began meditating... I wouldn't wan't it any other way, I LOVE that feeling of connection and harmony it brings. It's always a friendly reminder that there IS a higher intelligence guiding everything, and even the simple things have a greater purpose. |
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Smalltalk
