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Ananda
3115 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 23 2013 : 05:54:47 AM
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Our decisions no matter how much devoted we are to them... Life will create conditions for us to be shaken... No I haven't found peace but I still love. I feel forsaken but I can't help but love. I am tired but I still love. Loving is my prayer.
Even love turns into anger.. Yet we love again and again. No matter how far you go... Up or low... You will love. Love the unknown...
I am tired of following others... Love says be you.
No matter how much I fail or hurt... I am a lover.
"And Jesus said to him, The foxes have holes and the birds of the heaven roosting-places, but the Son of man has not where he may lay his head."
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2013 : 08:30:04 AM
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Sweet! 
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2013 : 12:21:42 PM
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2013 : 1:14:18 PM
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Dear Shantiji,
It so happens that when I posted this topic... You came to mind... And I've just stumbled into this post of yours
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....12605#107745
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
Hi Mykal,
Here is something that came to me a few years ago... feel it may help here...
http://www.aypsite.org/forum/topic....OPIC_ID=6402
quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
Fall in love with the gift being given to you
Not the box it comes in.
Fall in love with the silence
Not the practices that bring you silence.
Fall in love with the truth being revealed to you
Not the guru or system that is delivering the truth.
We miss so much by focusing on the form that delivers the truth to us.
The ego will analyze, judge, defend, a guru or a system.
That is what the ego loves to do.. engage itself in something.
But when we let go the judgment, the analyzing, the defending...
We let the actual teachings in.
These teachings are real subtle and beyond the mind.
Hence the mind does not get it.
Be....
....silent......
Let go the attachment to the gift box
And start enjoying the gift.
The truths being sent to us
The blessings being poured into our lives.
Fall in love with....
The guru in you...
The silence.
Shhhhhhhhhhhh......
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2013 : 1:14:36 PM
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2013 : 1:51:04 PM
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whippoorwill
USA
450 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2013 : 2:22:59 PM
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 04:08:42 AM
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Reminds me of Yassin's story that he once shared with me:
Once someone came to his Sheik and said to him: "Sir, I love you and I love the Messenger of God and I love God"
The Sheikh smiled and said to him:"(ya Kethret-hom!) So Many! "
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 05:36:12 AM
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I've heard similar stories on the same topic from Yacin as well
Namaste |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 10:40:53 AM
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Ananda!I'm not sure what you mean by "Our decisions no matter how much devoted we are to them... Life will create conditions for us to be shaken.".
do you mean by decision <=> Promise?
Yesterday a little unpleasant incident happened.while my sister was pouring hot boiling tea in a mug,it cracked & caused second degree burn.I was administering first aid for her,the other sister almost fainted from the scene & had to be administered first aid as well.Although I treated the former for shock but she was developing shock symptoms & I was getting concerned she was loosing consciousness.My little niece was present & cried seeing her mom in pain.
the moment her husband & my brother arrived and carried her to the hospital... I felt a little relief.Thanked Allah for the strength and clarity of mind which he gave me & for taking care of my sister .In less than 5 mins after the incident,my niece asked me if I help her studying for her math exam.I looked at her trying to grasp how she shifted from crying mood to studying mood in no time & not sure I felt like teaching in that instance .She looked me straight in the eyes and said "You Promised!".
I heard a voice so clearly saying inside of me "do not break oaths after their confirmation while you have made Allah your witness.Allah knows what you do."
& So it was  .Like the strength that Allah gave me to deal in that emergency situation,I was given strength to teach afterward directly.If it comes to me,I would run away from both situations.
thanx for listening for the boring story <yawning>...But I feel fulfilling promises is a way to be closer to Allah.
Namaste
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 11:19:36 AM
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| Decisions and promises... Everything we set up on doing... Especially things related to spiritual sadhana in my case... It's a fight against ones' own self at times... Even when keeping on pushing through the mud for months and years... Others have found their goals from such pushing... Whereas I have failed many many times... I just can't follow through till the end... If there is an end for that matter... I tried staying away from overloading while cutting a lot of practices from my routine and was happy there but I felt ashamed... If Jesus was on the cross and all saints cried nights and suffered hell back and forth... Why shouldn't I suffer also... I did and obviously will again and again until God says other wise... It's just I need to rest now and then... I have went beyond my limits and the result wasn't so good... Overloading is a really serious matter. Allah ysalema la ekhtik.. Salam |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 11:22:18 AM
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| Reading back what I wrote up there... It makes me look like a saint... Whereas I am really far from it... Just like everyone else I have my dark and light spots... |
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kami
USA
921 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 12:10:45 PM
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Ananda,
Such beauty in your words! Thank you for sharing.
I understand your fervor - it is sort of a desperation, isn't it? Everything turns into spiritual practice in one way or other - absolutely no difference between the mundane and divine. I also understand what you mean by not being able to push through. I have often felt that way.. There has been some alleviation recently from seeing clearly that I am not the doer. Have never been. Can't really say "I" did anything to be here on this path. It is all just happening - going along in whatever design it is meant to go in.
Whenever that "I" comes up ("I" am not making progress, why can't "I" push through, "I" am overloading..), it is seen like everything else - arising and falling in silence. "I" cannot claim to have any control even on that. Absolutely no ownership. There is nothing that is "mine", neither materially nor spiritually, not the practices, not the experiences, not even the Bhakti - zero, zilch. When I look for the doer I don't find her. There is only emptiness. And that emptiness is so full, so charged, so vibrant. That must be the love you are talking about?
The ultimate test of surrender to our beloved Ishta is to let go even of this notion of getting "there", wherever that might be (enlightenment?). This unique path, "my" path is really not "my" problem - when He wants to experience Himself as His true nature via this body-mind complex, He will. According to His timeline, not "mine". He is constantly experiencing Himself as all of creation - as Jesus, as Mohammad, as Ananda, as Yogani, as Kami. it is His game. The desperation will also come and go - and it is also His problem.
Much love to you |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 12:39:13 PM
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| Thank you for your wise words dear Kami... They are true... I understand... But I feel deep inside that I should pray and meditate and do spiritual practice as much as possible... Maybe now is the time to tone things down... Or else like what happened a short while back I will end up not doing any practices and be very much involved in overloading... I reached a point where I lost control and was praying to God to quiet things down within me... It was the hardest fight... it felt like there was a monster hidden within me and I've upset it to the extent it came out and showed its' face fully for the first time... I understand that one shouldn't Identify and relax and let go... But sometimes letting go and not identifying could be the hardest thing... I am really lost at words here and its' hard to explain where I am at and what lead me here... Let's just say this is the result of being identified with the doer and the pushing... I should've taken it easy earlier because all my body was resisting but I didn't listen to it... Perhaps I should listen to this also... I simply dried out the yearning within me and even then kept on pushing... Now that I've decided to tone things down... The yearning is very strong again... I should live with it moderately I suppose and not exhaust things as I did earlier... Salam |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 1:20:10 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ananda
Decisions and promises... Everything we set up on doing... Especially things related to spiritual sadhana in my case... It's a fight against ones' own self at times... Even when keeping on pushing through the mud for months and years... Others have found their goals from such pushing... Whereas I have failed many many times... I just can't follow through till the end... If there is an end for that matter... I tried staying away from overloading while cutting a lot of practices from my routine and was happy there but I felt ashamed... If Jesus was on the cross and all saints cried nights and suffered hell back and forth... Why shouldn't I suffer also... I did and obviously will again and again until God says other wise... It's just I need to rest now and then... I have went beyond my limits and the result wasn't so good... Overloading is a really serious matter. Allah ysalema la ekhtik.. Salam
I can relate to your devotional madness!
Where are you aiming with the pushing? what do you expect the arrival to be like?
How can you be 100% sure that Jesus and saints suffered!Saint Raf2a was in total joy although the body apparently suffered.the body sufferedJesus is the body?Ramana was not concerned about the cancer...They came as a form of God's grace on us.
can't comment on your approach to sadhanas.It's totally between you and your God.
I pray for my Allah to give you patience & strength till you ride all the waves smoothly & safely
Much Love.
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 1:39:42 PM
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| Dear, You already know all my answers to the questions you sent. Divine union is the goal. Amma did it and Ramana and Atmananda said one must keep on struggeling until attaining what needs to be attained... Saint Paul in the bible said to pray constantly... Pray and do not be bored or tired of praying.. I am who I am and yes this relation is personal. I already know most of the answers I am reading here as well but am thankful for the reminders... I have become insane most probably... Might be dellusional also... I have faith that God will interfere and correct my ways if they are wrong. Salam |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 2:58:47 PM
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Ananda!
please don't take my comment as trying to be a smart arse,you know me better.You are way too more spiritually advanced and I shall learn from you.However,sometimes you hear a word of truth from a child and not necessarily from a saint....Like my little niece reminding me "to keep my promise".
Ramana never said to struggle with practices...Ramana was against any energy practices...you have the human gospel for John troy and Sri Ganesan ...double check if you're in doubt.He said to persevere in self enquiry and surrender.
Saint Paul said to pray,Praying doesn't cause overload  .
& Atmananda is whom?...You see I'm spiritually ignorant so don't take me so seriously!
As for being insane!It doesn't trouble me anymore over here...insane ...so what!
Renewed Love. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2013 : 3:46:37 PM
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I've read the human gospel... Ramana was many things to many people and acted according to each person's need. Yes, he advocated self inquiry and surrender and by self inquiry he meant the act of it constantly until the mind melts into the heart... I didn't mean energy practices... I meant bhakti and prayer... They do lead to overloading symptoms and this is not noticed only by me but by friends as well... Yogani told me so years back also... I still practice meditation as well... The same as taught in AYP but with a different mantra... As per Atmananda Krishna Menon, he's Kamal Joumblat's guru. I don't think or see myself as spiritually more advanced than you are by the way.
This whole topic in the first place was just to declare that after all has fallen only love remained... My path started with love and longing and this is the only lasting thing in my case. This is why I said love is my prayer... I don't want to force practices on myself any more unless there is the urge to or I feel like it... This might be the wrong approach according to some and the right one according to others... I've heard different opinions from many teachers and gurus on this subject... I am simply tired of following gift boxes... I am in love with the gift... That's my life line. Salam |
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Namath
350 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2013 : 02:10:02 AM
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Morning Ananda,
good to know.Love & longing is ever present over here as well towards Allah.
You shared your thoughts & started it with "decisions" so one would feel you want opinion.Perish the thought.
"Atmananda Krishna Menon, he's Kamal Joumblat's guru"
Ahhhh!!He's the presence that I felt & froze my brain in that house with the funny weird cat few years back!...The presence that was laughing at my struggle to make my brain function again! of course!how could I forget that
Salam
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2013 : 02:47:03 AM
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| Salam dear Namath |
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Goodway
USA
99 Posts |
Posted - Feb 26 2013 : 10:17:23 AM
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If the heart has no anchor, it runs wild like a gazelle.
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vijikr
United Arab Emirates
413 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 1:28:28 PM
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dear shanti,
That poem really touched me and thats what I am feeling today infact.Thanks . |
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kembolini
United Kingdom
50 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2013 : 2:09:29 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Ananda
Our decisions no matter how much devoted we are to them... Life will create conditions for us to be shaken... No I haven't found peace but I still love. I feel forsaken but I can't help but love. I am tired but I still love. Loving is my prayer.
Even love turns into anger.. Yet we love again and again. No matter how far you go... Up or low... You will love. Love the unknown...
I am tired of following others... Love says be you.
No matter how much I fail or hurt... I am a lover.
"And Jesus said to him, The foxes have holes and the birds of the heaven roosting-places, but the Son of man has not where he may lay his head."
I love this.
As a yoga teacher I often read about love to my class attendees. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2013 : 3:00:50 PM
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| Thank you for reopening this topic This is the heart of it |
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Nothing is Solid but Love
