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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 16 2013 : 3:39:52 PM
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Really freaking out.
Wrote a letter I was about to email to her because she is phoning me in a bit and I suck at explaining things on the phone.
Exploring feelings, apologising for the hiccup, etc.
My head is totally bombarded. I am conflicted about what to do.
Is it necessary to tell her about this stuff? Arghh
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2013 : 3:44:55 PM
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To say, if it is not right to the continue the relationship, or if I wish to simply express that I am confused but love her, is it still advisable to mention the drunken hiccup?
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2013 : 5:15:58 PM
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| Just sent her the message, explaining what happened, my headspace at the time, and my conflicted feelings now. Living in anxiety now, breathe |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2013 : 6:09:15 PM
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She pretty much did as you would, Sey.
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2013 : 7:25:27 PM
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Dear Bodhi Tree, apatride, SeySorciere, Kami and Mykal..
Thank you.
This has been plaguing me with guilt for the last two months, nearly.
Through your acceptance and advice, I was able to find the courage within to communicate with her.
The woman did not even get why I felt guilty.. there was not even anything to forgive, in her eyes.
Thank You God, For The Beauty of Women. I would be lost sometimes if not for their enormous hearts.
Blessed |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2013 : 7:52:07 PM
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Good to hear, Jack. 
Wishing for clarity, fulfillment, and the right amount of transparency/translucency in all your relationships. |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2013 : 3:52:06 PM
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Thank you.
The right amount of transparency is the one I need to work on.
So she agreed the last few months we have been pretty much seperated, she agreed that it is only human for me to share things and she understood the doubts I expressed that night.
As we were separated, and so it felt, I did allow myself a bit of flirting and banter with women.. mainly humorous though definitely flirting. Never followed up or anything like that.
Am I just being over the top to begin bringing that to the table now? It's like whenever there is a chance of closeness, my head brings up some other guilty memory to exploit and shove in my face and sometimes hers. |
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Mykal K
Germany
267 Posts |
Posted - Feb 19 2013 : 03:23:35 AM
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Hey Jack,
I don't know what the others here think, but I found that even one thought that you keep for yourself is enough to destroy the relationship. My advice is, whenever you want to be in a relationship, go on and say everything that is on your mind. Otherwise, your relationship will dwindle, as there will be no free flow of energy between you. Energy wise, every thought that you hold, blocks your energy. You can only go deep if you have full disclosure. Why not be totally honest with her? That way you can always be at ease with her, and then you two will grow.
I know that not many people agree with me, I guess it depends on what kind of life you want to lead. This is what I found that works for me. It takes courage, though.
But it is definitely worth it. |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2013 : 07:17:10 AM
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I apologise for bringing this thread back up, but to be honest with the group here, I just feel so terribly guilty and sad. I don't think I've felt guilt free in years.
I'm not terribly inclined to go into loads of detail on a public forum, but any of the old names who recognise mine and care to lend an ear, I could selfshly do with the support.
J |
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kami
USA
920 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2013 : 08:11:44 AM
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Of course, Jack. 
If you are inclined to share, that's fine. If not, that's fine too.
Do you have a practice routine?
kami |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2013 : 10:16:59 AM
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Hi Jack,
I'm still here, listening.
Love,
Carson  |
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Jack
United Kingdom
305 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2013 : 7:06:13 PM
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Third time attempting to write this. I have logging in issues, it would seem!
Firstly - I am moved by the care displayed. Thank you. I feel a bit silly and undeserving.
Carson and kami - if you would be kind enough to send me a super-brief email/pm, then I'd have all of your email addresses. Then I could just send a group email, instead of having this all public forum?
You'll see how infantile by concern is shortly - but then, I am dealing with an infantile part of my mind.
Thank you, |
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