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Bourgo
USA
57 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 11 2012 : 09:17:55 AM
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Hi all,
I originally started meditation because I wanted a relief from the stresses of life (job, kids, mortgage, etc). Since then, it has become a large focus for spiritual development in my life, but that is not the point of this post.
The point is: I was angry and/or very irritable much of the time due to the stresses of life, and this would lead me to yell at my wife and kids, be distant or just overall unpleasant. Obviously this is contrary to what I want in my life because I love my family more than anything.
Twice daily meditation has made a huge impact in the stillness within me and since I have started I have turned a 180 degrees -- I get angry very rarely and often feel that the stillness fosters insight to problems and situations that I would not normally have had. All of these things are wonderful.
Here is the problem: If I miss a meditation session during the day (so I meditated only once per day) due to a very hectic schedule (this doesn't happen often, but it does happen on occasion), I go back to being much more irritable and easily angered.
In other words, it seems that the calming effect of my mediation sessions is transient...it only continues if I continue to meditate. I would expect that these practices would lead to stable and more permanent changes to my character, but it seems that underneath the veneer of stillness is still a very angry person waiting for the chance to sneak out whenever I miss a meditation session.
Is this normal?
Thanks for the help everyone. |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2012 : 12:55:14 PM
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Hi Bourgo,
While that has not been my experience with missing out on practices even for a week at a time (allowing my immune system to restore state of health, for example, when any practice would be physically impossible), I do understand raising the point on transiency versus permanent change.
The practices here I believe are already set up with this in mind, following a gradual and efficient progression, despite the steps (milestones) being interspaced with impermanence. It is no surprise, as the body follows the same cycles of nature. It is for this practices have to be ongoing, not because they yield complete regression should they cease, but for the very reason that they exert effects to transcend that very cycle.
Another more immediate principle is that true change is very hard to detect when standing at the point of change, so to speak. The mind always needs a reference point outside itself, and when it is lacking, naturally concludes that no such change ever occurred, regardless that the world seems to react to you differently.
Then there are the basic variations in purification from the lessons, where the so-called clouds could be multi-layered only to reveal the Sun after some work, while in other cases it could be a long chain of 'scattered clouds.' I find this true over the years of meditation, even now with regular Deep Meditation.
Bottom line, if things seem transient, they probably are, yet knowing they can lead to something other than that is great fuel for devotion to the path. |
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LittleTurtle
USA
342 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2012 : 2:08:02 PM
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Hi Bourgo,
One of the benefits of meditation is not just the immediate effects but long term effects and changes. The fact that you are noticing the irritableness when you don't get your second meditation done is in itself a benefit. After months and years of practice a steady stillness grows and a type of self reflection we call the witness. It's a process with ups and downs at times but the overall effect is more inner peace and clarity of mind with an ability to view our life and relationships from a place of stillness vs reactiveness. Please don't think that because the effects seem transitory at this time that meditation is not truly effective. Don't stress on missing a session. Just steadily keep building that bank account of stillness. |
Edited by - LittleTurtle on Jul 11 2012 10:15:35 PM |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2012 : 2:09:48 PM
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| There is a phase where that is true for some people. You just have to push on through, but remember to allow time for lots of grounding and self pacing. After a while the anger will die back, but you can also channel it into the need to reach the divine. Some say, putting the blame on God works. |
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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2012 : 9:42:57 PM
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Ryan,
I take it that you are a fairly recent, new meditator--a year or so, perhaps? In any case, you are correct--the benefits of regular meditation DO accumulate over time and they do become more and more permanent. However, that may take several years, and until then, you may well experience these losses of stability and stillness when you miss a session. Little Turtle is exactly correct--that you notice some roughness when you miss indicates much progress and purification is already present. This is a system of practices which must continue for decades to make major, lasting and substantial changes in our state of consciousness. Until then, we make small steady steps with each and every meditation session, adding them up over the years as we move into true spiritual awakening. I've been practicing regularly for 40 years now, and it was only 20 years ago that I finally began to not feel some effect from missing a session. I'm thinking maybe this is a self-teaching aspect that is built in to the practice--we become as regular as possible because when we miss, we feel it!
Keep it up!
Michael |
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Bourgo
USA
57 Posts |
Posted - Jul 12 2012 : 08:04:49 AM
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| Thanks everyone, your responses are all very helpful. I had no intention of "giving up", but it is very nice to know that I am on the right track. |
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DoctorWho
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2012 : 10:01:49 PM
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I hear you bro!
My temper has always been the bane of my existence. Spiritual practice has always highlighted just how much my wrath was (and is) pure poison. Reacting with anger in certain instances used to seem like the most natural state for me. DM has centered me greatly.
I may miss one of my meditations too and can see how wrath, impatience and irritability seem to be eagerly waiting in the bushes to make an appearance.
The way I see it is this...anger and wrath have been with me (and perhaps you too ;)) for a very long time. What we are doing is scratching only the surface of these obstructions. Hell there was time when I thought I could rid myself of desire and wrath and liberate myself in this very life! I have realized I am only at the foot of this great mountain I need to climb...(more like on the path that leads to the foot of the mountain)
In short, i don't concern myself with eliminating my anger...just being a witness to it and giving it no more creedence than any other mind wave that over takes me. Easier said than done, I know. It happens will all of the speed of an acorn growing into an oak tree.
It sounds like you're doing just fine.
Be Well! |
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Bourgo
USA
57 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2012 : 10:45:48 PM
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Thanks DoctorWho... I appreciate the reply. Being an angry person is definitely a difficult path, but I'm glad you're helping yourself. They say once you identify the problem, you're 99% of the way to eliminating it.
All the best! |
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Effective meditation?
