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mckyhart
Afghanistan
1 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 09 2012 : 1:09:46 PM
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I feel like I'm in some real trouble here, folks.
OK... In as few words as possible, this is what's going on:
I'm a recovering drug addict. 60 days clean. Last time I used, took a very high dose of LSD and MDMA. Have tripped around 75 times. I'm afraid I've blown a fuse and done some permanent damage.
The trip lasted well over 24 hours, and during that time I went really deep into my mind, probably into a place I wasn't really prepared for or meant to be yet or at all.
After the trip, I started experiencing many things that sound similar to Kundalini Syndrome: powerful, overwhelming energy moving through my body, seeing light that's so bright it encompasses my entire consciousness when I'm around intensely spiritual or emotionally moving things (monks chanting, beautiful music), hearing voices chattering or music (almost always right before I go to sleep), whacked out emotional states (feeling things like feelings of love jumping out of my chest for people who I don't even know very well, even though I'm fond of them), becoming aware of lights in specific areas of my body (perhaps chakra-related? I've been feeling a very powerful orange light right about in my heart/gut area, which I read may be the 2nd chakra? Dunno, but that particular feeling/light is linked to powerful sexual impulses as well), trouble communicating with people and feeling like the words are English but we're not speaking the same language. I feel crazy, but aware of it and so not really crazy... It's very difficult for me to describe.
I've had a friend who's a serious Buddhist practitioner tell me she thinks it's something akin to things she's seen brought on by unprepared practitioners doing overly advanced meditative practices. Another friend tells me it's a psychotic break and I should seek help.
I've been to psychiatrists before, and the meds they put me on (20-25 different ones in total) uniformly made me feel worse. I don't have a history of psychosis, though there is a history in my family.
Does this sound like Kundalini Syndrome? Perhaps someone could point me in the direction of another spiritual issue this resembles? Perhaps it really is psychosis? Hard for me to say. Anyway, I'd really appreciate any opinions given here. Don't know what to do. |
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AYPforum
351 Posts |
Posted - Jul 09 2012 : 1:53:43 PM
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| Moderator note: Topic moved for better placement |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
Posted - Jul 09 2012 : 7:55:43 PM
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| Mcky, when you say "drug addict" do you mean narcotics, painkillers etc? I don't see psychedelics as "drug addiction" That said, it does sound like you really stretched the envelope there. 60 days is not a long time and it does sound like the time is right to take a hiatus from psychedelics as well as all drugs. Your nervous system should settle down after awhile but it can take some time. Be sure to get regular sleep, eat a regular balanced diet, trust your intuition and neither try to shut off the experience nor accelerate it with yogic energy practices though gentle meditation and asanas might be helpful. The main word here is seek balance and grounding. Being in nature is good, physical exercise is good. I predict that with time you will feel better though most likely much more open energetically than you used to be. These experiences can take awhile to integrate and digest. |
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Victor
USA
910 Posts |
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kevincann
USA
335 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2012 : 2:22:03 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by mckyhart
I feel like I'm in some real trouble here, folks.
Friend,
There is a part of the brain/engergy system that mystical types call the
silent center, brahmarandhra or even "the bell" in Agni yoga teachings.
It's not commonly known, but it's really the somatosensory cortex (which happens to look like a bell when viewed across brain hemispheres) which is the major target of yoga in the brain. Until this area is reorganized through meditation/contemplation and eventually kundalini, no mystical experience is possible.
Over time, yoga/kundalini does something called neural kindling, which strengthens the somatosensory cortex and also the motor cortex which is adjacent.
Well anyway friend, the reason I'm telling you this, is because it seems that the LSD and MDMA (used as an initiatory chemical in some traditions I believe), which has temporarily strengthened this 'silent center'.
However it takes years of meditation on 'so called chakras' to actually permanently strengthen this area (when you meditate you actually strengthen the so-called somatosensory homunculus).
In short; I can't say for certain, but it is highly probable that if you lay off the happy juice and avoid excessive concentration, do no meditation, and just live a normal, balanced life, that these distressing symptoms will fade away pretty quickly.
I wish you the best, and hope this explanation shows you needn't freak out, that all will be well.
-Kev |
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Psychosis? Kundalini Syndrome? Please help me...
