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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 13 2012 : 3:02:32 PM
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Have you ever witnessed the younger/past you ?
I can remember a time when there was no separation, all memories were the basis of who I thought I was. I could draw on them to gain understanding of the present self.
Lying in bed this morning I witnessed the younger Karl as a loose collection of thoughts in pure awareness , like a video display on which the individual pixels float around randomly and create a picture.
The awareness/witness was simultaneously in both here and there and yet it was only the thought of the passing of time that allowed this to be date stamped, in reaIity there was no difference. Although I knew these were the thoughts of a younger Karl they were unrecognisable as anything but random things with no connection to the present.
For the last month or soi have been an exploded diagram of the thing called Karl. As the back ground begins to cool , the noise disappears and then there are progressively fewer and fewer active thoughts in play to make up the composite.
Searching for the earlier version gave an extraordinary understanding of how everything is just floating in the silent, stillness of awareness and, surprisingly it's not dark, or so the impression goes. It's very bright, warm and is the very essence of love. Its not a clumpy love, just a flat oneness without any defect, without any limits.
The brightness activates each individual thought and makes it transparent and allows interaction with the pure essence of love. It's like a chemical reaction, the awareness does not change, it is like the light of the Sun, each thought is like a cell that reacts to this light. The thoughts are more like a harmless virus.
I used to be acutely aware of how I might be perceived by other people. This has all vanished and instead the image I see is no longer the real thing, just a rendering, a way of describing something as an individual collection like a pattern is exposed within a complex of lines.. I could be looking at my arm or hand when I see one of these patterns, they are instantly recognisable as the same collections of thoughts. The less that are perceived, the less there are to cause confusion. I'm almost expecting the visual representation to turn sideways and have no depth at all, then float to the floor like a dead leaf.
I seem suffused by a sense of infinite well being and peace despite the body, quiet and clear, the fewer thoughts the more the awareness shines through, becoming clearer and clearer. There are moments of crystal clarity and then a few clouds, but mostly it's clear and silent.
I won't worry if it doesn't last. |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2012 : 9:19:24 PM
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Very interesting, karl.
quote:
Originally posted by karl
Have you ever witnessed the younger/past you ?
No, but I experienced something similar with my older brother several years ago, after my initial "awakening" experience. I was sitting with him and talking, and suddenly had this surreal experience in which I perceived him as the same kid I knew as a kid myself.
He looked much different (he was almost 30 at the time), but I perceived the part of him that hadn't changed with the years. It was quite a trip 
Namaste [img]icon_heart.gif[/img] |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2012 : 9:50:53 PM
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Very cool Karl.
I had one such experience long back, when I saw how, my childhood was not as bad as I had imagined it to be based on a few experiences.  I had talked about it in a topic called "veil lifted".
I hope you don't mind, but I would like to share something that I experienced a few months back.
As a child, I was stubborn as a mule. So was my dad. When I was little, he and I had many many ego clashes. My father beat me up a lot. When I as about 7 years old, he attended a retreat which completely changed him. He never touched me again.
I don't remember much of my childhood, but there are a few incidents that are clear as day in my head. One on them was the last time I got beaten up. I was about 6 I think. We were going to go some place as a family, and stopped at my aunt's house. There he met one of his old friends. We started leaving and my dad decided we would not go where we were supposed to go, instead he wanted to catch up with his friend. I was really mad. I remember walking down and looking at my brand new sneakers. I thought to myself, I have new sneaker and I can outrun my dad. So I turned around and stuck my tongue out at him and ran. He is a 6 foot tall man and I was a 6 year old kid.. so it wasn't long before he caught up with me and gave me a beating.
Now for years I have relived that day in my head, always telling myself, it is something that happened... but he never did it again so it was not important. One night a few months back, I relived that incident again, and realized, every time I lived that story, I was not in my body. I was watching, my dad beat me, I was looking at the people looking out their balconies from the high rise apartments, the kids in the playground were stopped and looking at us, my mom was walking toward us, looked defeated. I was watching all of this, outside of me. So I decided to go into the body of that child. I experienced a few of the sharp slaps and jumped out. The shock of entering the body and experiencing the violence a 6 year old child experienced was like sticking my finger into a 220 Volt electrical outlet. I stayed in that shock for a day or two. But the end result was wonderful.
I have felt a heart connection, spiritual connection, loving connection, divine connection with people around me, but always felt, something was lacking... Reliving this helped me find a human connection with people. It was amazing how I had closed myself off from feeling a human connection with people.
It was also amazing to see, I held no grudges against my dad. My dad today is nothing like that man who beat me up.
Just felt drawn to share it here, in case it may help some others.
Hopefully I did not derail your topic too much.
PS: Just want to add, this post is not meant to diss my dad. He really is the most amazing and awesome man I have ever met. He introduced me to spirituality and taught me everything I know. We did and still do so much together. This post was more to share how some things in our childhood add blocks that we are not aware of and when the time is right we see through them. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2012 : 05:21:01 AM
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Beautiful, Shanti! Such things mortifies any spiritual bypassing! I love it! How every tiny bit of escape renders impossible on this journey sooner or later! How it all lands in Humanity. Full blown humanity. Down to the core of being spirit as human being. Thank you so much for sharing!!!!  |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 14 2012 : 06:34:14 AM
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Humanity isn't a special case, only the thought is unique, "I" is the first thought "am" is the second, all the others are derivatives and combine infinitely. The "I" was consciousness and the "am" became manifest. Awareness was only potential just like rays of light cannot be seen until they strike a surface, so was awareness like that light, everything was without form. Awareness is like a waiting lover, without "I" it is nothing, with "I" pure love is born, because there is nothing else in that Union, a perfect balance like baby and womb.
The "I" is in every living thing. " am" is in every manifest thing. Consciousness needs a vessel and "am" is the creative force that provides it. "I" and "am" combine, illuminated by awareness they interact and produce infinite numbers of thoughts and combinations like the infinity seen in snowdrops and in nature generally.
Humanity is a collection of thoughts held together by the central thought "i am" , which is the common denominator of everything. It is unique but will neither be the first, the last or the middle. One flower in an infinity of species of flower, constantly evolving, dying out, combining endlessly.
Until one day " I" will sleep once more and awareness will wait, poised to shine its light once more.
Apologies, but I have to get this down while it is still clear. |
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ddaniel
USA
15 Posts |
Posted - Apr 19 2012 : 5:12:30 PM
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*slow clap*
Well said, Karl! |
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chit-ananda51
India
127 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2012 : 12:18:46 AM
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| Enjoy Karl! Are you trained in story-telling or script-writing? :-) Or is it that innate genes playing the drama of many lives? |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2012 : 05:01:36 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by chit-ananda51
Enjoy Karl! Are you trained in story-telling or script-writing? :-) Or is it that innate genes playing the drama of many lives?
No I'm not, I do love to write, although the iPad doesn't like it much. I decided to write a book recently and have managed a couple of chapters. The book is a reflection of exactly what I am, applied to the subject of business.
Thank you both for your kind comments. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2012 : 07:15:34 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
quote:
Originally posted by chit-ananda51
Enjoy Karl! Are you trained in story-telling or script-writing? :-) Or is it that innate genes playing the drama of many lives?
No I'm not, I do love to write, although the iPad doesn't like it much. I decided to write a book recently and have managed a couple of chapters. The book is a reflection of exactly what I am, applied to the subject of business.
Thank you both for your kind comments.
The iPad has a mind of it's own.
This reply is completely non yoga related, but if you do write a book on Yoga, then this might be relevant 
Get the iPad app called Dragon, you can dictate the book and it will write it for you. The iPad mind may just have to stop and listen to you for a change.  |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2012 : 07:31:21 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
quote:
Originally posted by karl
quote:
Originally posted by chit-ananda51
Enjoy Karl! Are you trained in story-telling or script-writing? :-) Or is it that innate genes playing the drama of many lives?
No I'm not, I do love to write, although the iPad doesn't like it much. I decided to write a book recently and have managed a couple of chapters. The book is a reflection of exactly what I am, applied to the subject of business.
Thank you both for your kind comments.
The iPad has a mind of it's own.
This reply is completely non yoga related, but if you do write a book on Yoga, then this might be relevant
Get the iPad app called Dragon, you can dictate the book and it will write it for you. The iPad mind may just have to stop and listen to you for a change.
I will have a look at that. I'm actually writing it on my wife's PC. I can look out over the cricket ground while searching for the next words. Thanks Shanti. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2012 : 07:38:02 AM
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| That's great, I can use that to create specific paragraphs or add notes and just email them. I used a different application. |
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Interesting understanding
