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richilincez
Italy
24 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2012 : 3:14:19 PM
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I wrote this email to Yogani, and he requested me to put it here, so he can paste his answer here. In case he forgot, which I strongly doubt, or even if he doesn't, everybody is very welcome to answer himself.
"Dear Yogani,
I am writing you because of a doubt I had recently.
I have to say that DM is so simple that it is not simple at all, in practice. I pick up the mantra, and when I am off it, I pick it up again, like you said.
In these many months it has never really smooth, like I constantly have to DO something, quite hard, to repeat the mantra in the midst of thoughts or to recollect it when I am off it. Second, if I try to be gentle or so, it feels like I am forcing some qualitty of lightness on the mantra, compared to the natuality of just starting with whatever quality comes.
My first doubt is: when I go back to the mantra after I've lost it, I often do not remember how it was when I lost it. So it's like I have to re-create it. Should going back to it an active process or just going back automatically to what comes? Also, going back to it is often very hard. It is like I am so lost in thoughts that going back to a mantra would be too complicated, too far.
Last, and most important, is a doubt which has to do with the process itself. Most of the time, when I pick up the mantra, and go back to it when I am off, not holding onto it, I go to deeper unconsciouness than the normal waking state. It is like the same feeling of when one decides to rest with eyes closed, not sleeping though, because the ability to go back whenever I want remains. I am afraid this procedure, in the absence of some stability of attention, will lead me to this meaningless state I could experience simply by throwing myself on the bed. I know you say good cleansing is taking place, but I wonder: so might good cleaning be taking place even when I go to this foggy state, indipendently of meditation?
I trust you completely Riccardo" |
Edited by - richilincez on Feb 17 2012 3:15:35 PM |
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yogani
USA
5240 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2012 : 3:20:44 PM
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Hi Riccardo:
Yes, the procedure of deep meditation (DM) is simple. It is we with our expectations and attempts to supervise it who make it complicated. When these occur during DM, we can treat them like any other thoughts, and easily favor the mantra. That is all they are -- thoughts. :-)
Thoughts are common in DM. It is also common for thoughts and mantra to be there at the same time. All we do is favor easily the mantra whenever we realize we are off it, whatever it is in the mind. We don't try to make the mantra clear or fuzzy. Just the intention to favor the mantra is the mantra. That's all. Nothing more to do.
If you are in a foggy quiet state, that is fine. When you realize you are not favoring the mantra, then favor it easily. The difference between residing in a foggy state (favoring that) and favoring the mantra, is that favoring the mantra is progressive, going to quieter states on mind, into abiding inner silence, whereas favoring foggy stillness goes nowhere. That is the difference. It is the difference between "do nothing" forms of meditation and effective meditation with mantra. Deep meditation with mantra is progressive, going ever deeper into inner silence. This is also why 20 minutes of deep meditation is more powerful than hours of do nothing meditation, and why we are educated and attentive about overdoing, utilizing self-pacing as needed, grounding in daily activity, etc. It is a powerful practice.
Never judge your meditation on the basis of subjective experiences occurring during meditation. This is how many go wrong, because they confuse the byproducts of practice with the procedure itself. Always favor the procedure. Be very easy about it, letting it go the way it will without assessments about what is happening. Just do it for the allotted time, like brushing teeth, and then go about your life. The fruits of meditation are found in daily living, not during the procedure itself.
Please keep in mind that it is very time-consuming for me to be answering questions coming from many people in email. Therefore, I request you copy your question in the DM section of the AYP support forums, and I will copy this answer there, so many can see it. It can save a lot of time and energy here, while helping other practitioners with their practice at the same time. The forums are not perfect, but a far better solution than me trying to answer questions (often the same questions) from hundreds of people in email, which is physically impossible. The forums are a growing knowledge-base, and while there may be some cross-currents and distortions in them, they also contain a wealth of practical information on practices and experiences.
Also, nothing that I write now is likely to be as complete as what is in the AYP online lessons and books. It is not possible for me to repeat the complete teachings in an email or forum post. You should go to the original writings for that. This is what I recommend everyone do -- use the original writings as the primary source on the AYP practices, and the forums (and even me) as a secondary source. Because they were years in the making, the original writings are a much better source on practices than I am. While I will certainly fade over time, the original AYP writings will not. :-)
Many thanks, and all the best on your path. Practice wisely, and enjoy!
The guru is in you. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2012 : 5:08:55 PM
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I will add that it is entirely consistent to my early experiences of DM. It takes a long while to stabilise, it's working, keep at it. |
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