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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 03:31:18 AM
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in the caffe trottoir where i like to hang out,there is a poor little girl that comes almost daily, her clothes and hair are dirty...she has become friends with all the young crowd clientele and with the caffe staff which i have to say i really warm and friendly...this girl is like 6 or 7 years old....yestrday she was carrying a bag and came to me to show me the new clothes that she bought from a store that sells very cheap clothes and which is now on sales....she was so happy showing me her new sweater with a black cat on it and he new grey pant....she said she was saving money for so long to buy these clothes which i believe do not cost more
than 15$ max ...and that she is planning in the future to buy some clothes to her borther and a ring to her mother....
i asked her: did you buy those clothes all by yourself?
she replied: yes, i tried them too before buying them...
i asked her: where is your mum?
she replied i want to buy a ring for my mum, what do you want to buy for your mum?
i replied: nothing specific, my mum is in a permanant alzeimer hospital
she replied: may she gets better...and she went away...
i was so touched....this little girl doing everyhting by herself at such a young age...she is poor and her parents let her beg in the streets..despite of that she feels that she is in charge and wants to buy stuff for her brother and sister....all that time she saved
15$ ....
truly we are lucky and blessed in so many things that we cant count them...
namaste |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 05:07:56 AM
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What thoughts went through your mind ?
Those sort of events bring up a lot of confusing stuff for me. Do I do something or nothing. Is it subtle begging or just simple warm conversation.?
I'm not great with beggars because I can't see an end to it, can't discriminate who is in more need? why should I give to one and not the other ? Where does it end, do I have to give everything away? I can honestly say, that it gives me no pleasure at all to give like that.
I just wonder at a system that has allowed so many people to be born without the slightest chance that they can be self sufficient and independent. Although I appreciate in society we are all dependent, begging just seems to be demeaning for the beggar and the beggee. It usually makes me briefly angry that it has got to that stage.
Maybe I can be helped with this intriguing dilemma? My final response is calm resignation that any charity is drop in the Ocean, it's just a way of life and I'm seen as a cash machine with a face. Any thanks extends only as far as the next punter. If I had the power I would raise them all out of the poverty trap, but instead my finances are finite, I am also a beggar of sorts. Each flea sucking on the next biggest flea.
Not very Yoga I admit  something to work on.
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 05:14:20 AM
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i dont know....this is very confusing to me...i try not analyze it..when she asks i give...saying to myself i am not really the giver...and the money that i am giving is not really my money, only He is the giver...
quote:
My final response is calm resignation that any charity is drop in the Ocean, it's just a way of life and I'm seen as a cash machine with a face.
i think this too |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 07:24:47 AM
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I completely agree Karl. I don't want to perpetuate what beggars do. If you are going to help them, you should really do it for the rest of your life, because it is a dependent relationship, and stopping it is worse than never beginning it.
If you really want to help a beggar, encourage them to do something more constructive than begging.
In the case of the sweet little girl, I would try to help her in a way that she doesn't know it's me,
and preferably something she can learn from. Of course, enjoying her company is good too; just letting her know that she is accepted as she is. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 08:10:11 AM
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I forgot to say; thank you for that wonderful story Maheswari.
I wonder if that little girl can read? If not, maybe someone can teach her. That's a present that would have lasting value. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 08:26:46 AM
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Maybe Maheswari does not see her as a beggar but a girl who is working to make life better for herself and her family the best she knows how.
Thank you Maheswari... the story touched my heart. next time give her a hug from me (if not a real one, a virtual one is fine). What beautiful souls, you and her. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 08:58:07 AM
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Absolutely- that's why it is important to give her new tools so her struggle will be more fruitful. So she has a possibility of being something better than a beggar as she grows up, and can show her parents there is a better way. I think they contribute to her fate, probably because they don't know a better way.
I'm not opposed to helping people who are truly in need, but handing them money perpetuates it, especially if they are begging on the street. I see people who are not begging, and are truly struggling, pushing a shopping cart full of worthless junk they call possessions. I like to wait until they are not looking and stick money in their cart. |
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vijikr
United Arab Emirates
413 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 08:59:36 AM
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Beautiful and it touched my heart.
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 09:15:19 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
I like to wait until they are not looking and stick money in their cart.
Very sweet.
I know what you and Karl are saying... and I agree with "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime". Yes, if something can be done to help her, definitely help her and not take the easy way out. I agree.
... all I was saying is that at times, at the moment you dont see a beggar there, you see a little girl doing her best. See the qualities in her and beauty in her and not what she is doing. Be in the moment and share the joy... That is what Maheswari saw and shared... till we started giving her advice on what to do  ... then she started to think hmmmm....
Reminded me of this by Anthony DeMello:
http://www.soulwise.net/99adm06.htm
There's a lovely Italian film directed by Federico Fellini, 8 1/2 In one scene there's a Christian Brother going out on a picnic or excursion with a group of eight to ten year old boys. They're on a beach, moving right on ahead while the Brother brings up the rear with three or four of them around him. They come across an older woman who's a whore, and they say to her, "Hi", and she says, "Hi". And they say, "Who are you"? And she says, "I'm a prostitute". They don't know what that is but they pretend to. One of the boys, who seems a bit more knowing than the others, says, "A prostitute is a woman who does certain things if you pay her". They ask, "Would she do those things if we paid her"? "Why not"? the answer came.
So they take up a collection and give her the money, saying, "Would you do certain things now that we've given you the money"? She answers, "Sure, kids, what do you want me to do"? The only thing that occurs to the kids is for her to take her clothes off. So she does. Well, they look at her; they've never seen a woman naked before. They don't know what else to do, so they say, "Would you dance"? She says, "Sure". So they all gather round singing and clapping; the whore is moving her behind and they're enjoying themselves immensely. The Brother sees all this. He runs down the beach and yells at the woman. He gets her to put her clothes on, and the narrator says, "At that moment, the children were spoiled; until then they were innocent, beautiful".
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 09:23:54 AM
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I think my heart is a bit stone shaped at times. Probably my upbringing. If I got into a problem then I would have to find my own way out without help, begging of any kind was frowned on, even Carol singing. Lending or borrowing money was only a small step from stealing. To ask for help was regarded as a failure and I learned quickly never to ask. It made me independent but a bit intolerant.
What gives me Joy is watching people succeed by their own efforts, no matter how small those efforts are. Anyone trying will get the best of me, infact they get all of me without the expectation of anything in return. The reward is just to watch them grow, even a tiny bit, no thanks, or appreciation necessary.
I have no idea why Im telling you any of this 
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 09:36:19 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by karl
I think my heart is a bit stone shaped at times. Probably my upbringing. If I got into a problem then I would have to find my own way out without help, begging of any kind was frowned on, even Carol singing. Lending or borrowing money was only a small step from stealing. To ask for help was regarded as a failure and I learned quickly never to ask. It made me independent but a bit intolerant.
What gives me Joy is watching people succeed by their own efforts, no matter how small those efforts are. Anyone trying will get the best of me, infact they get all of me without the expectation of anything in return. The reward is just to watch them grow, even a tiny bit, no thanks, or appreciation necessary.
I have no idea why Im telling you any of this
Thanks for sharing that Karl. It is always beautiful to get an inside glimpse of someone... and you are definitely a wonderful person to have around here...
What I would do... dunno... cant tell till I am faced with the situation...
I, personally, would definitely not try "Carol singing"... that may make me a beggar in a hospital. |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 09:47:30 AM
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Sorry... Maheswari's sharing has got me in a space of sharing how we miss the beauty of a moment by going into mind about it...
And this may not be relevant at all... but Karl's "Carol singing"  reminded me of this story I read a few days back...
In a Washington, D.C. Metro station on a cold January morning in 2007, a man with a violin played six Bach pieces. During his performance approximately two thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.
Three minutes after the young man began playing a middle aged man slowed his pace and turned to look at the musician, but kept on walking.
Half a minutes later the violinist received his first dollar; a woman threw the money in the hat without stopping.
Not until six minutes into the performance did someone actually stand against a wall and listen.
A three-year old boy tried to stop and listen but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped and looked at the violinist again, but the mother pushed harder and the child continued to walk, turning his head to look at the musician as he walked away. This action was repeated by several other children; parents, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.
In the forty-three minutes that the violinist played, seven people stopped what they were doing to take in the performance. Twenty-seven gave money – most of them on the run – for a total of $32 and change. The remaining 1,070 people hurried by, oblivious to the music, few even turning to look. As he finished playing, silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded. He received no recognition.
The violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played some of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days prior, Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.
This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the Metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and people’s priorities (Read the full, original Washington Post article here).
In a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world, playing some of the finest music ever written, with one of the most beautiful instruments ever made, how many other things are we missing in life?
Here is the original article:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dy...0401721.html
OK, all done now.
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chas
USA
209 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 10:17:17 AM
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nice story, Maheswari
I prefer to give what I can.
"They say my work is a drop in the ocean – I say oceans are made up of drops." – Mother Teresa
[img]icon_heart.gif[/img] |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 11:19:01 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Shanti
... all I was saying is that at times, at the moment you dont see a beggar there, you see a little girl doing her best. See the qualities in her and beauty in her and not what she is doing. Be in the moment and share the joy... That is what Maheswari saw and shared... till we started giving her advice on what to do ... then she started to think hmmmm....
Aww no. I feel awful now. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 11:24:46 AM
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Shanti that story reminds me of a line:
We hear the beauty of birdsong but we do not see the beauty of the bird. |
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chas
USA
209 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 11:32:52 AM
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“It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.”
Youtube video- Bill Hicks "It's just a ride"
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 12:01:30 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by chas
“It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.”
Youtube video- Bill Hicks "It's just a ride"
I like Hicks very much. There isn't really anyone around the comedy circles with that incisive wit and intelligence. |
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chas
USA
209 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 12:28:27 PM
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Love |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 1:09:36 PM
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quote:
I like to wait until they are not looking and stick money in their cart.
that is so sweet Ether
thank you all for your replies...really there is Love in this Sangha...
the whole thing happened yesterday out of the blue...that is why i was left astonished...i dont know how i see her but i was touched by the love she has for her parents despite they might be using her!..i thought that she knows more about Love than i do...if i was in her shoes would i save money to bring gifts to my abusive parents??!!! i dont think so
does she know how to read? no...one of the staff at the caffe was teaching her a bit during his free time....when i saw him do that i was also very touched and i still think very highly of him..he is really sweet....real karma yoga
i did my duty towrads my mum when she was diagnosed with severe vascular dementia in 2008 and still i am....dad and i had to place her in permanent specialized hospital
also last year i did my duty with dad who was hospitalized for one month then he passed away...in both cases i did my duties not only because i had to but also because my parents were great people,very loving and they gave me and my brother (he lives abroad) very good education and open minded environment...but this girl is helping her parents although they might be using her...this is what touched me
tears are coming to my eyes
namaste |
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 1:25:20 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
tears are coming to my eyes
namaste
(((HUG)))
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 1:51:48 PM
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Shanti wrote:
"... all I was saying is that at times, at the moment you dont see a beggar there, you see a little girl doing her best. See the qualities in her and beauty in her and not what she is doing. Be in the moment and share the joy... That is what Maheswari saw and shared... till we started giving her advice on what to do ... then she started to think hmmmm...."
Thanks Shanti, yes that's what I would do if i was there. I always try to accept people without judging.
That is easy with kids. I don't know why i started giving advice - it's a bad habit.
@maheswari: What a touching story. I didn't know her parents might be using her. I hope she becomes independent someday. And that guy helping her read - that's incredible. Very good of him. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Feb 15 2012 2:02:50 PM |
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mr_anderson
USA
734 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 5:13:32 PM
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Karl - just read your initial reply. I know how you feel, as for so long I used to feel confused and conflicted about the whole beggar issue. I live in NYC these days and get asked for change 10 times per day. Guilty, compassionate, annoyed, kind, pitying...
Of late, it's finally resolved itself.
-First, I trust my intuition. You can't really know the outcome of giving change to a beggar. Perhaps you'll give them money that they use to buy the alcohol or heroin that kills them. Or perhaps once in a while a kind reception with an open heart may change someone's life. Look inside yourself, if you find divine inspiration and an intuitive guidance to give, give. I never give out of guilt, only if I feel a divine inspiration to do so.
As an english person with more than my fair streak of english cynicism, it feels a bit uncomfortable to say this, but I definitely feel (and can clearly remember) times when I've been divinely inspired or moved by angels to give to beggars. There was a homeless chap who used to be outside Tesco in the City, and I'd pass him every day and occasionally chat. He was obviously a lost soul, but a highly sensitive one who I found to be intelligent.
One day I felt the call to do so, so as I bought my lunch from Tesco, I bought some for him also. As I gave it to him, and our eyes met, he was overjoyed and it was obvious from his attitude that times when he was a recipient of any kindness or basic human connection were extremely sparse.
Joy flowed between us, both our hearts opened, and a light shone inside me that reminds me of a classical painting when God shines his divine sun through a gap in dark clouds. There was a oneness between us. It was an ecstatic, blissful experience and after we finished our conversation I had to find a quiet space to allow tears to flow. This one act resulted in a chain of powerful consequences that I believe permanently changed my life and may have even led me to AYP.
There have been several times when I've just purchased my lunch, and I feel an inspiration, and give my lunch away to someone who clearly needs it more than I do. These times have often been characterized by ecstatic bliss, followed by weeping and an overwhelming sense of compassion for the suffering of others.
If I die tomorrow, whilst I know I'm no hero or saint, I will treasure the moments where I've felt the divine inspiration to help someone else.
So next time you see someone who is in need, drop the mental story of your own powerlessness and the insignificance of your action, if you cause one single person to open their heart, or yourself to open your own, you can't possibly know what overwhelming power for good your actions may have. It's the hurricane caused by the wings of a butterfly.
-Secondly there's no reason to convert into an overnight saint. Go with what is natural, maybe it's true that you can't feed them all. But whether or not you can open your wallet, there is nothing to stop you opening your heart. If I see a beggar, or one of NY's many crazy and sometimes frightening hobos, if I don't feel the guidance to stop with them or buy them some food, even if my initial impulse is to feel guilty, or frightened, or repelled in some way, I say in my head: 'This time my wallet is closed, but my heart is still open.' And as I am walking away, in my minds eye I radiate love towards them.
Maybe it's a meaningless action, but I don't think so. I think the energy we radiate towards others has the power to affect them psychically, what if everyone on the planet decided to radiate unconditional love towards everyone they encountered, just for one day... we'd have a changed world. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 5:37:42 PM
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Sounds good Mr Anderson.
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True you can't feed them all, but if you can donate anything it is best to give it to a shelter that helps them all the time. Only those truly in need go to the shelters, and the money never goes for alcohol or drugs.
A local shelter here gave out coupons for a free dinner and promised no preaching, to all the beggars within walking distance. Only seven out of a hundred coupons were actually used. True, some might be mentally ill and scared to come in, but that is where Mr Anderson's method helps. Here they all have cardboard signs, so i refuse to look at the signs at all; I look in their eyes. |
Edited by - Etherfish on Feb 15 2012 5:48:09 PM |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 6:52:22 PM
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We used to have a blind begger who played accordion in the town centre. He was a well known local figure, almost a landmark. Sat with his white stick and dog on a string, rolling his eyes into the top of his head.
As we passed by we always stuck a few pennies in his hat.
When He died about about 30 years ago, it was quite a story. He wasn't actually blind at all and bequeathed a fortune to his family.
I always thought it was quite funny, that's probably where the cynism started. |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 7:38:11 PM
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There was a guy in a wheelchair on a corner near here, always with a cardboard sign, for months. One day i saw him stand up, fold up the wheelchair, and walk away with it, with this stupid smile on his face like everyone is stupid except for him.
It is said that those people make more than minimum wage, so you almost can excuse it. But it hurts the ones who are for real; a very small percentage. i think the fake ones make their own punishment though. Imagine the consequences and karma from trying to convincingly act disabled all day, every day. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2012 : 01:32:27 AM
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quote:
I say in my head: 'This time my wallet is closed, but my heart is still open.' And as I am walking away, in my minds eye I radiate love towards them.
nice
quote:
Imagine the consequences and karma from trying to convincingly act disabled all day, every day.
so true |
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the poor little girl
