|
|
 |
|
| Author |
 Topic  |
|
|
karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 13 2011 : 04:36:00 AM
|
This is going to be a bit rambling. This morning I had a Eureka moment as several things came together.
I don't remember how I got here? It sounds like an exercise in amnesia doesn't it?
I mean, yes, I got up this morning and everything is where I left it when I went to bed last night. So that's all fine.
Next, I certainly remember the many steps I took to be married and in this house and doing what I do for a living. So on that level everything is also just as expected.
Then I realised that I could remember nothing about who I actually was or where the world around me came from.
Of course, your going to say. Well what have we all been on about for so long. We know this. Consciousness arises from the I and so on and so forth. That assumes a stillness, a none entity, pure awareness, no film in front of the projector.
But it can't be right!
Here's the problem.
I can't remember how any of this came about and if I can't remember, something is odd. By rights, if I go straight from stillness to awareness to consciousness then I can flip the world. I should be able to change it completely simply by knowing. One moment Earth, the next somewhere totally different. Even if I wasn't able to change that, then at least to change my place in the world.
If the world I see is a reflection of that which I am then something is screwy. How is that I am always who I am. Why do I not wake up as a different person in another place each morning? It's like Groundhog day, with minor variations on a theme, yet it shouldn't be. I have no memory of the what, where and how of the macro universe yet I wake up recognising it every morning as surely as recognising my face in the mirror.
I follow a set of inbuilt rules but have no idea where these came from. Why am I unable to remember these basic things? Why am I unable to change anything except on a very small scale, if at all.
I'm having to evaluate and the numbers don't stack up. The only thing is true is that accepting the position of I am (ness), accepting that I must know the answers to all the questions as an act of faith then I have far less conflict. If I accept that the place I am seemingly allotted is the right place and is as good as any other, then the world kind of creates an order in which, whatever I am seems to make a direct impact, a change without trying. It's not even as if I'm trying to create change, it's either happening as a direct result of unconscious thought, or it's aligning with expectations, as in, I am now going with the current instead of trying to turn it.
Yet trying to force any change, or refusing to accept the present situation results in a backlash, proper conflict, even violence. It's as if the four noble truths and the 8 limbs are actual rules and not simply a philosophy by which to live. The thing is, it seems necessary to actually practice these things, not just a matter of letting things happen, because as soon as I do that there is again friction.
Things seem to be far more designed, yet no instructions seem to have been pre-printed as direct memories. There is measure of freedom to choose in the given situation. I think enlightenment might just be sticking to the rules even of they are not as clear as they could be. Like it isn't a matter of what the rules mean, because of themselves they mean nothing, they are just fundamental and interact with each other. Like baking a cake, the ingredients don't mean anything, only when mixed in the correct proportions and the correct way do they create the cake. It's maybe not such a thing as an instruction set as a total way of being. No so much a path, or progression, but a total way between alternates.
Apologies for the ramble. I'm just seeking discussion if you get where it is I'm coming from.
|
|
| |
Topic |
|
|
|
| AYP Public Forum |
© Contributing Authors (opinions and advice belong to the respective authors) |
 |
|
|
|
I don't remember how I got here ?
