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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 06 2011 : 02:21:51 AM
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| I've been reflecting lately on what an incredible, awesome gift is tantric yoga, and so wonderful how it all works together - vajroli and the nectar cycle, turning the energy from the biologic function to the spiritual funcion, etc. Now that my partner has become really adept at it, we continue to reach new levels of ecstasy, almost to the extent that I can reach in solo tantra (having many more years of experience in that regard). I find with a partner it is more difficult to maintain the concentration, although when we are perfectly still I can do so, and this is something we have been exploring more recently... Anyway, I'm just feeling really thankful for tantra, and of course, for yoga as a whole. |
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AumNaturel
Canada
687 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2011 : 9:24:18 PM
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2011 : 2:51:42 PM
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| Thanks for sharing. I like the detail, "almost to the extent that I can reach in solo tantra." Solo has advantages. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2011 : 03:18:35 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by bewell
Thanks for sharing. I like the detail, "almost to the extent that I can reach in solo tantra." Solo has advantages.
Yes, it's interesting. In my solo tantric sessions it is completely effortless (as is meditation in general these days) - everything just flows. With my partner I feel to a certain extent I have to manage the energies for both of us, as he is not an experienced yogi, although he is very adept at the physical aspects. But with him I find it more difficult to focus on the subtle level, especially when we are moving. He has not been totally comfortable with being still until recently because of concern about losing erection. I explained to him that it's not necessary, and more recently we've been exploring just lying still, connected, in meditation, which is profound and like a whole 'nother level of intensity and now he really loves it. So, it's wonderful. Also I very much appreciate that he has perfect control and we no longer have to worry about birth control, a huge relief (although I would not necessarily recommend this to younger people who are more fertile and have less control...) He is asleep now and I am going to go surprise him. Good night, everyone. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2011 : 04:40:26 AM
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quote:
He has not been totally comfortable with being still until recently because of concern about losing erection. I explained to him that it's not necessary, and more recently we've been exploring just lying still, connected, in meditation, which is profound and like a whole 'nother level of intensity and now he really loves it.
very true ...no need to worry about losing erection .... |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2011 : 2:10:53 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
quote:
He has not been totally comfortable with being still until recently because of concern about losing erection. I explained to him that it's not necessary..
very true ...no need to worry about losing erection ....
I agree. From my male perspective, losing an erection (without ejaculation) can be as pleasurable as getting one. To realize that, one has to get beyond performance anxiety. |
Edited by - bewell on Dec 09 2011 4:18:52 PM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2011 : 2:41:17 PM
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quote:
To realize that, one has to get beyond performance anxiety.
agreed...talking from my female persepctive,all men have this latent worry that they should proove their manhood thus they feel performance anxiety... no need to worry cause the female partner especially if into yoga and tantra is not into those manhood cliches and stereotypes... she is looking for something deeper than usual sex... usual sex is good but it can get even better and more profound with just lying still,staying connected like Radharani said.... |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2011 : 4:22:27 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
...if into yoga and tantra... she is looking for something deeper than usual sex... usual sex is good but it can get even better and more profound with just lying still...
Wonderful
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2011 : 5:03:01 PM
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Yes, it is wonderful! Thanks for all your input about erection/performance. We had a very extended meditative experience last night, nearly an hour, and he actually fell asleep for a few minutes, at which point the energy flowed even better (interesting, huh?!).
Another peculiar aspect I forgot to mention about my experience of solo tantra versus with a partner: In my solo practice, and generally in my daily existence overall, I have a feeling of expansiveness and sort of "cosmic body" where my consciousness extends out into the universe and everything flows through me. I'm not "out of body" because I still totally feel my body, and my center is in the heart, but at the same time, the "boundary" between "me" and "the universe" is fuzzy and it's more of a "connection" or "interface" than a "boundary." (I don't know if I'm describing it very well.) But when I join my partner, I seem to lose that expansiveness and I am brought back into a more focused sense of body/ self, and I have to actually concentrate to get back to my "usual" state, although when we lie still it returns. It seems odd to me, because you would think an ecstatic experience like sex would have the opposite effect. I wonder whether it has to do with my partner's energy and/or if it is just a matter of practice; like, over time I will be able to integrate the physical and subtle dimensions? Does anybody else have experience with this phenomenon? |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2011 : 06:12:39 AM
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Wow it sounds great Radha.. I have nothing really say to help but only to wonder if you feel you are relaxed enough when you feel what you describe with him or are you feeling self conscious at all?
There are states I could not experience with a partner that I experience on my own... I figure this is because when I am alone I am much more relaxed. I can get into a state of mind and experience a much deeper internal connection than when I am with my partner... I am out of body when I am alone (but with full connection and awareness) and when I am with my partner I am total body but with a external focus as well because he is present.
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Edited by - Kahlia on Dec 11 2011 06:30:14 AM |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Dec 13 2011 : 03:03:19 AM
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| Kahlia, hmmm, interesting. Thanks for your feedback. It sounds like you have a similar experience. I'm not sure if it's really about "relaxation" for me per se, but here's some more data: The other night he fell asleep again, and instantly I was back in my "normal" expansive state and also I had a very clear sense of the energy circuit flowing between us! It felt like he was meditating (and he said later, it felt that way to him, too). So I'm thinking it has something to do with the awareness of "other" and his ego/ consciousness, but when we are asleep/meditating we are One and everything just flows. |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Dec 22 2011 : 11:33:01 AM
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| Interesting. Sometimes, that "expansivensess" just happens when we're united, but I'm not quite aware yet of the best triggers to make it happen. I've noticed that seeing the universe visually (sky, clouds, stars, moon etc.) takes us closer to it. A new interpretation of "creative choice of postures". |
Edited by - HathaTeacher on Dec 22 2011 11:36:50 AM |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 03:28:13 AM
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| Just an update: Due to our being on opposite work schedules, it has been difficult to find time for sex except on weekends. Well, we have found an arrangement where I crawl into bed with him in the wee hours after I get off work, when he is asleep. (I will be joining him shortly here tonight.) This has turned out to be surprisingly beneficial to our tantra practice! As he is half asleep there is little or no ego involvement or "performance" concerns, and he is very open to just lying still, and we have been reaching the most incredibly deep meditative/prayerful state. Sometimes he drifts off to sleep for a while and it becomes even more intense. Later he tells me it felt like deep meditation, not sleep, which it also felt like from my perspective. He says he feels great, peaceful and yet energized, when he gets up to go to work a couple of hours later. My sense of "expansiveness" has returned, without losing the body focus at the same time... He still isn't doing his regular yoga/meditation practice, and I have given up attempts to influence him. He seems to prefer getting his yoga from me by osmosis, which is not ideal of course, but it could be worse (i.e. I'd rather have a partner who does tantra with me than one who was gung-ho about yoga practice but refused to do tantra - which I've had in the past)... The nightly half-asleep tantra sessions have made our relationship even better and more loving, and also he seems to have cut back on the drinking. So again, I am very thankful. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 03:30:01 AM
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Louie
Canada
26 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2012 : 12:57:34 PM
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I would love to be practicing Tantra, but my wife is just not in a place where she wants to be sexual right now. She has had persistent health issues for the past two years and she never seems to have the energy or inclination for sex. This is too bad because I think that a good part of her health problems are caused by energy imbalances, and tantra would help her with that. However, we are now stuck in a chicken and egg problem where I am certain sex would help her to feel better, but she wants to feel better before starting to have sex again.
Luckily, she has started doing Tai Chi and accupunture and both are helping tremendously. Thus, I am being patient while I wait for her energy to balance out enough for sex to be on her radar again.
It is frustrating to watch someone that you love suffering, both physically and emotionally, and know that you could help them but they are not interested in what you have to offer. |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2516 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2012 : 1:33:38 PM
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dear Louie
check the tantra lessons...tantra works for solo and couples...
hopes your wife gets well soon
all the best |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 12:57:49 AM
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Healing on such a deep level can not be rushed. Even though we offer our hand or advice to someone perhaps they are not ready or it is not the right way for them.
Truly I believe if every woman looks deeply within she will find the answers within. Sometimes these healing journeys are ones one needs to make on ones own...but with lots of encouragement and support.
Encouraging her to meditate is always a start if she is not already. |
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Radharani
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Feb 15 2012 : 03:37:27 AM
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| Louie, do check out the tantra lessons so at least you can start with the solo practice until your wife feels ready... As Kahlia said, she has to decide when she is ready. But, I agree with you that tantric sex would be healing. I know from personal experience there have been many times when I didn't have the energy or interest in sex, and/or I had other things on my mind, but when I allowed my partner to talk me into some gentle tantra it was definitely worth it and I felt much better afterwards! :) but, obviously it cannot be pushed... I'm sure the Tai Chi and acupuncture will help and certainly meditation would, too. I hope she feels better soon! Meanwhile do the practice yourself and then she will be very pleasantly surprised when you guys do get together on it. |
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thankful for tantra
