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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 21 2011 : 11:11:40 PM
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Hi everyone,
I have some experience recently, and I know it's probably fine, but think it's better to check with more experienced yogi(ni)s:)
It's not about any tantric practices I did. In fact I haven't done any tantra related thing for a long while. Surprisingly, I had a long cycle of "no leaking" which lasts about 2 months, with mostly just DM in the later month (just starting to add SBP back). In this period I could feel I found women more beautiful and tend to appreciate them and attracted to them easier. I could have a few erotic moments, but ever had any urge to release at all. (guess this is normal?)
My first question is this: a few days ago, I found I had something similar to blue-ball sensation without erection at all. The only cause was I was strongly attracted to a girl and felt some intense loveing/erotic feeling. Then I turned from this feeling to translating ayp, and the blue-ball feeling occurred. So, did my intense feeling to that girl sort of interrupted some inner neuro-biological cycle? Why did this happen? And when this happens, what I should do? Honestly, I tried to release it, but then when I talked myself to the process, I actually felt very odd, because I was in silence and didn't really feel an urge or desire to do that. (don't think will be able to that except when being with someone I love.) so, yea, it's a little awkward. Please, advice if you know what's going on!
thanks!!!
Phil
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mikkiji
USA
219 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2011 : 2:41:53 PM
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Philip--
Knowing your romantic inner nature so well (wink!), I think I have some idea what might be going on here. Firstly, don't get too caught up in how good or pure or successful you've been lately at retaining, or withholding, or whatever you want to call it. "Leaking" is no crime, no foul, no problem whatsoever. Relax. Let go and enjoy life and the scenery--including or maybe, ESPECIALLY the female scenery which reflects so much of the beauty of life into our eyes. Your highly refined sense of romantic love is asking you to look, to enjoy, to dig the dizzy sensations which the female form offer our eyes and our awareness. No crime in looking, no crime in loving, no crime even in leaking (!! haha), certainly no crime in a bit of fantasizing. This is not a weakness, nor a failure, merely a road sign pointing out the futility of the householder (which I believe you are) trying to live as a celibate. This is your inner romantic genie asking to be let out of the bottle and allowed to do his thing! Awaken him, let him dance and sing and celebrate the female ideal. Who knows where it might lead...?
love ya,
Michael |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Oct 22 2011 : 3:50:29 PM
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Hi Michael, I love you, too!!
Thank you for jumping out and deliver these liberating words to me! Honestly, I'm not restraining my desire for romantic love, but I can be passive when a romantic feeling is initiated and should further liberate the beetles theme "All I need is love":)
I'm in a phase of learning loving without attachment. Or, I'm learning to have this wonderful feeling toward a girl without doing anything to get her. It's really says something because whenever I expect anything to happen, it turns out to be nothing:( So, I learned my lesson.
But here I'm also asking a very technical question. What's going on there with the post-romantic feeling blueball? Is there a way I should deal with it tantrically?
Pheel |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2011 : 12:59:51 PM
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Hi Bewell,
I did. The thing is I am not sure if it's blueball or not. Apparently in those episodes, I just had erotic feeling, there's no "prolonged sexual arousal." wired.
Phil |
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bewell
1275 Posts |
Posted - Oct 23 2011 : 10:13:37 PM
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What about the suggested treatment: "sexual release, or perhaps straining to move a very heavy object—in essence doing a Valsalva maneuver"? Sometimes you can judge the nature a symptom by what relieves it.
After a conversation about it recently here on the form, I got a little case of it. I often get little test-cases of symptoms being discussed. It felt quite literally like "epididymal hypertension". I tried holding my breath, and tensing my muscles so as to simulate lifting a heavy object (as recommended, the Valsalva maneuver), and found temporary relief. I also tried "sexual release" (as recommended), did it solo, and found (contrary to prediction) it exacerbated of the pain. |
Edited by - bewell on Oct 23 2011 10:14:41 PM |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Oct 24 2011 : 12:23:24 AM
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Hi Bewell,
thanks for sharing your "treatment"! I personally don't like the sexual release neither. It just felt so odd to release sexually when the stimulation is a loving feeling. It usually isn't a problem, because if I sit with the erotic feeling, it kind of gradually goes upward. I guess when I ignored it and turned to other things when it's on maybe was the cause? Also, there's a flash that doing a round of taiji would help. I'll let you know:)
Phil |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Jan 05 2012 : 9:40:17 PM
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Hey Phil,
How have things gone with this long retention?
I dug up this old thread because I now find myself in a long retention (for me) of ten days. Like you said, I don't really want to end it. Don't get me wrong, I want it to end, but releasing it myself doesn't seem right. Anyway, in the last few days I have occasionally experienced this blue-balls without any prior arousal feeling also. Seeing a girl, the thought of a girl, or a dream... these things have led to that feeling without even having an erection before-hand. It's not quite the same as that traditional blue-balls, but a little further inside the trunk. Like a vacuum in the chakras down there. Whatever, hard to describe. Just a longing in my loins. It goes away soon.
Anyway, I was really wondering, how did your retention end up? Did you find a girlfriend?  Did you move to a cave or monastery? So far I am also finding a lot more beauty in women, and I can feel slowly filling up with sexual energy, like the small pre-orgasmic ecstasy feelings are gradually building up. But without any lust, just there in the background.
Much love. |
Edited by - JDH on Jan 05 2012 9:49:52 PM |
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Kahlia
161 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2012 : 12:50:32 AM
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| Hmmm I dont get it? Why such fixation on ejaculation? No offense but I just dont get it? I mean practicing tantra is one thing but to fixate on when or when not to have an orgasm ... gosh I dont know..must be a man thing.... |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2012 : 01:37:29 AM
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| Yep, mostly a man thing. After an orgasm a man is depleted, kind of tired out, like a hangover effect. He cannot orgasm again for a while, until the semen is refilled. I can't speak for Phil, but for me I am talking about pleasuring myself on a regular basis. It seems better to save up my sexual energy for a woman than to waste it on my hand. If I were in a relationship, I would not be as fixated on this. There is also some spiritual aspect behind it as well. It feels good to have a break from the constant tug of sexual desire. And to be filled with that desire only when the moment is right, rather than all the time. |
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JDH
USA
331 Posts |
Posted - Jan 06 2012 : 01:48:01 AM
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I used to think the post-orgasm effect only lasted a day or so while semen was refilled. And maybe this is just me getting a little older, but now it seems to me like the effect lasts more like 5 days to be full. Sure it only takes 1 day to refill enough to do another full ejaculation. But after about 5 days, it is at maximum refill level, and then the body's energy is no longer feeling depleted from refilling. I read some yogi talking about brahmachari's and he was advocating 12 years of retention to feel the full effects. Uhh yeah, I'll be a householder yogi please.  |
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HathaTeacher
Sweden
382 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2012 : 1:51:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Kahlia
Hmmm I dont get it? (..)to fixate on when or when not to have an orgasm ...
It's not about orgasm as such, it's about gradually decoupling the orgasm reflex from the ejac reflex, which takes long training. I guess a "standard" sex life of ejac-only orgs can be likened to a female sex life with clitoral-only orgs (short and local, rather than long and deep/whole-body.)
Just a guess (for obvious natural reasons ) |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Mar 27 2012 : 5:30:57 PM
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Hi JDH, sorry for the delayed reply--I was not reading this forum for some time.
I just would like to remind you that brain is the largest sexual organ. So,if we only work on the lower part of the body, it won't be as effective if we also work on the upper part--the heart and the brain. It's not just adding sambhavi or other physical techniques. Because I have a devotional nature, I found wholeheartedly devoting myself to karma yoga and using bhakti to focus on higher purposes effectively uplifts the energy without me knowing it. Only when the mind loses focus on the higher and wanders around, it finds its old pleasure cave of sex.
I think the quasi-blue-ball thing happened because after practicing yoga, we have more direct link between mind and energy. So if we have some sexual inclination in our consciousness, the energy will go there. Without releasing it caused the discomfort. so, work on the mental leading is the solution for me.
pheel |
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extra long cycle and related question:)
