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vortex
Norway
8 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 21 2011 : 10:07:53 PM
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I had a very bad experience over a year ago.. It was an anxiety attack, but also kundalinirelated think. It was during exams. I had not been studying hard at all.. I`m a heavy procastrinator. so I obviously was very stressed out.
before I was gonna really hit the books and study for an exam, I decided to take a night out with some friends and had a few beers and smoked marijuana before we went to sleep. this triggered something.
I remember I started having this cold feeling, like icy cold down in my groin area/root chakra the day after that night out. I had had some backaches the last year and became paranoid that this was because of some nerve damage and something was wrong in my back. this got me into reading about this. I found that people could become impotent, have permanent nerve damage etc. because of back trouble. at the same time I started developing this other theory about it somehow beeing about loosing energy kind of like a negative kundalini. energy beeing sucked out of my chakras and spine, and leaving this cold bad feeling. remember this was during an anxiety attack.
I realized this was paranoia, and that I shouldn`t worry. so I did lots of stuff to try getting better. cold shower, hot shower, long walks. meditation. yoga, cleaning. jogging. etc. I also did balancing exercises to prove to myself that my back was ok. but the toughts where still there and the feeling was sometimes gone, but soon came back.
this went on for a few days.. no sleep at all. I had no one to talk to as my friends are not into alternative stuff, and I was afraid to speak about these things most of all because I knew they were based on paranoia. then It got worse.. I started to feel the cold feeling getting bigger and rising. it was all centered in the root chakra spreading from there on out to the entire body. then further on. It ended with it going over my head and face and I was REALLY afraid. I had packed my self in woolunderwear under blankets in my bed (to stop the cold feeling). and sweating like crazy. I could even feel I was warm on the outside. but inside I was cold. ice cold some places. now It also felt like the top half of my head was gone, and there was this icy center in the middle, around ajna chakra. not the contact point(third eye) but the in the middle of the head. the cold feeling somehow subsided some places. it was varying a bit. but now, on my entire body, I was feeling numb. and all tensed up. couldn`t take full breaths without forcing.
I think there was three or four days with no sleep before i had an appointment with some friends.. I basically told them my back theory. that my back was not so good and I was afraid there was a clinged nerve or something. but also that I hadnt slept for maany days. It ended up with them suggesting that I should go to the hospitals emergency room. and I did.
this made me calmer and as I was calmer the numbness and cold feelings got better. after a quick physical, I was given pills. the ones you get for anxiety. drugs, really.. got sedated. on my way home I felt better. and after a while I was finally calm. there was still some coldness hanging around near my root chakra for a long time, but I was reassured that it wasn`t dangerous and only caused by anxiety.
However. some other things had changed. on a more subtle level. for a long time I couldn`t concetrate enough to actually meditate. and when I did, I couldn`t feel the energies and my subtle body like I used to at all. It was, (and still is) a changed feeling. the one way I can find to describe it is that it feels like my inner body has turned inside out. kind of like energy canal in my back has blown outwards into all body parts. and the thing is that when I`ve read about people experincing awakenings, it reminds me of this experience, except the feeling arising is not pleasant. I have NO IDEA what to make of this. I just tried to forget it after asking around a bit, and searching the net.
but I`m still not back to the one I once was. something has changed. but it has gotten a lot better. the only thing I can think of, is that it is a sort of supressed awakening. meaning i resisted it so much (because of my fear) that it got supressed in a way.. or that I simply reached another state of consciousness that just made me aware of tensions, and feelings that already was there. after this experience I have become a lot more sensitive to alcohol and foods, as well.
I have also heard that cold feelings are bad, negative emotions leaving the body.
anyways, i feel I`m rambling here. I really don`t know what to believe and think about this. just that something happened, I don`t know what it is,. and it is still affecting me.
have any of you some thoughts or info about this?
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Edited by - AYPforum on Jun 10 2012 5:33:39 PM |
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woosa
United Kingdom
382 Posts |
Posted - Sep 22 2011 : 07:17:27 AM
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Hi Vortex
Wow, when I smoked marijuana all I got was the sensation and thought that I had peed my pants.  Sounds like some energy has awoken.
Well you are in the right place. Just start practicing with Deep Meditation and go from there.
A lot of the information on kundalini is nonesense, in my opinion. Don't get absorded into theories about it that can't really be proven. You just end up worry about things that aren't there. That's my view anyway.
Just do these practices and experience them with a detached interest.  |
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icy cold feeling.. anxiety. kundalinirelated?
