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tadeas
Czech Republic
314 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 23 2011 : 6:08:50 PM
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From the beginning of practices, I have focused mostly on total transcendce, releasing into the void. It was a natural and strong tendency within me. Retreating, removing myself, emptying. Lots of cosmic samyama contributed to it. This kind of transcendence over time became quite easy, maybe even too easy :)
Going to cosmic dimensions, expanding into infinity, unbounded space, immense stillness - yes, but what about it?
Recently I have been confronted with a deep-seated barrier, a basic mistrust in relation to the world. This has been an deep issue for my whole life - the feeling that there will be no acceptance, that there is no interest in my authentic expression. As far as I can remember, I have never believed people what they said, didn't consider it real. Deeply inside, I didn't believe people believed what they were saying and having no distance from themselves. Internally, in relation to myself, this was ok - I didn't fall prey to my own stories. In relation to others, however, this is non-acceptance. But the more I trust the world, the more there is of acknowledgement of everyone and everything just as it is, just as it goes. Simply and deeply seeing and letting everything do its thing, being with it as one. I understand this as compassion... I see thee... It's a movement from detachment into a flow. Transcending infinity and being life, life in infinity :)
It is such a simple thing, becoming the One. Coming in here, I can only say: Hello Love, where have we been all the time? I love you. Love loves love. Thank you. How do we serve ourselves today?
So as the One, we dance together forever.
Then I stops trusting. Then I trusts and merges.
And we dance forever. :)
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2011 : 01:43:50 AM
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Shanti
USA
4854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2011 : 08:45:17 AM
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tadeas
Czech Republic
314 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2011 : 1:57:09 PM
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Aug 24 2011 : 2:00:27 PM
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tadeas
Czech Republic
314 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2011 : 05:37:42 AM
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I'd like to add that this process has been stimulated a lot by my current relationship and the need for presence in it :)
The process has also been accompanied by a vivid dream/memory of my birth.
And another event is connected with it. When I was about two years old, I was kept for about 10 days in a hospital without the presence of my mother (for some strange reason she wasn't allowed to be there with me). I have some memories of that time, it was stressful and I didn't recognize her when she came back for me. That was probably a big breaking of a basic trust and certainty. |
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karl
United Kingdom
1812 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2011 : 5:30:28 PM
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Yes in the dream world these events are often the start, or confirmation of even older events in other lifetimes. Go back to the event, experience the emotion, see the event shrink in size to a small stamp, take the learnings from the event and use them to disconnect all the emotions around all the events right back to now.
Or any other way that works for you. |
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2011 : 07:31:10 AM
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Sounds like you are inviting the Feminine. =) Shiva - check. Shakti on her way in to bloom fully in the arms of Shiva! Beautiful!
The feminine is deeply rooted as Life, Birth, Mother, Womb... so going back to our own birth is important. I'm processing that now as well. It's very karmically important - how did we approach Life when we came out? What was printed into our "life contract" then? It decides our subsequent relationships, to people, partners, money, abundance...
And as you mention, mothers also abandon and create wounds. It's a major issue to solve. It affects our whole attitude towards Life.
I have never enjoyed Life. My mother abandoned me several times. It's a constant karmic theme of my life. Not until this summer I had it presented right into my face, so I had to look at it. My whole spiritual journey has been on hold for years now, because I've refused to look into this issue. All the spiritual practices and building of stillness has only served to suppress it further, now behind the "spiritual" veil. |
Edited by - emc on Aug 31 2011 07:58:32 AM |
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maheswari
Lebanon
2520 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2011 : 10:29:55 AM
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quote:
And as you mention, mothers also abandon and create wounds. It's a major issue to solve. It affects our whole attitude towards Life.
I have never enjoyed Life. My mother abandoned me several times. It's a constant karmic theme of my life. Not until this summer I had it presented right into my face,
emc
i can relate to that
my mum "abandoned" me because she has alzeimer dementia plus vascular problems since 3 years now...
....it was a devastating experience ...neverthless the spritiual growth that resulted from this experience was huge...i was obliged to look at reality as it is....all the fear,sadness,loneliness....(the funny thing i never knew i loved my mum that much...i always thought i loved my dad more)...i experienced too some kundalini awakening.... |
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Bodhi Tree
2972 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2011 : 2:15:02 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by tadeas
Lots of cosmic samyama contributed to it. This kind of transcendence over time became quite easy, maybe even too easy :)
Going to cosmic dimensions, expanding into infinity, unbounded space, immense stillness - yes, but what about it?
LOL! This makes me think of Scarface, when the drug dealer is telling Tony Montana about how one of his major problems will be how to spend the abundance of cash he'll be making. Tony replies: "I hope I have that problem some day."
Well, I care nothing about making money (or dealing drugs), but I would like to have the problem of having effortless access to a variety of cosmic realms!
May you find love on this Earth plane (with friends, family, and everyone you encounter). For me, the struggle often comes with those closest to me (brother and mother). Because they're not as spiritually inclined, I sometimes fall prey to a "spiritual pride" that catalyzes an over-critical attitude towards their weaknesses. I must constantly resort to samyama and well-intentioned, mischeviously playful humor to free myself of any authoritarian posture.
Miracles must surely be present at every level--microcosmic and macrocosmic. Maybe there is a miracle occurring as I lightly strike these keys and dance with you across digital space.
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emc
2072 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2011 : 4:27:24 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by maheswari
[quote]
....it was a devastating experience ...neverthless the spritiual growth that resulted from this experience was huge...i was obliged to look at reality as it is....all the fear,sadness,loneliness....(the funny thing i never knew i loved my mum that much...i always thought i loved my dad more)...i experienced too some kundalini awakening....
Yep. My experience too. The growth and energetic flow is great when the feelings are faced for what they are. =) Thanks for sharing. |
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Steve
277 Posts |
Posted - Sep 01 2011 : 12:11:04 AM
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quote:
Simply and deeply seeing and letting everything do its thing, being with it as one. I understand this as compassion... I see thee... It's a movement from detachment into a flow. Transcending infinity and being life, life in infinity :)
quote:
It is such a simple thing, becoming the One. Coming in here, I can only say: Hello Love, where have we been all the time? I love you. Love loves love. Thank you.
Such a beautiful expression of love. Tadeas, many thanks, for describing and sharing the transition that is occurring within you. Heart is tenderly and deeply touched.
Love and Light,
Steve
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From emptiness into love
