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bewell
1275 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 21 2013 : 2:17:05 PM
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Hi Carson,
I had a hunch some of the suffering you spoke of on another thread might have to do with your being a teacher admired by others, such as me , and also admired by yourself . I'm glad you included mention of that struggle in this inspiring AYP testimony. I like how you aim to stay grounded in your humanness.
PS I love you  |
Edited by - bewell on Jun 22 2013 05:52:09 AM |
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Govinda
USA
176 Posts |
Posted - Jun 25 2013 : 09:31:46 AM
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Brother Carson,
I deeply honor and respect the tale of your epic journey. Thank you for sharing so unabashedly and so very honestly. You are like a lotus flower unfolding your petals resplendently. Of course, your awakening is still just beginning to fully bloom and exponentially so, at that! We all share so many symmetries. 
And I sense many sweet blessings are dawning before your ever opening conscious-awareness, even as I type these silly human words. Seeing the effulgence of the light, being the embodiment of that light, sharing with all you encounter... the love and deep joy of your inner stillness and peaceful center. Carson, you rock!!!
Namaste dear friend, Govinda |
Edited by - Govinda on Jun 25 2013 09:36:30 AM |
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Pheel
China
318 Posts |
Posted - Jul 26 2013 : 09:18:40 AM
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Hi Carson,
Since I came back to Shanghai and teaching AYP full time, it's been more than ten months now. I found myself sunk into the same identification with a spiritual teacher. My ego is equally strong and stubborn, if not more than yours at that time. I found myself care too much about result, found myself identified with what I teach to the degree of denying everything else, found my social circle shrinks and my spontaneous childish splash repressed, found myself unwilling to listen to any negative feedback. This identification is driven by the ego, but also driven by fear, and unwillingness to face my body and reality. But now I see it, and am continuously investigating tendencies and motives driving my actions, just like you said:
"I saw that I had been able to use my practices and the sense of well-being they caused to bypass looking at myself and fully facing my shadows. I went through an incredibly painful ‘looking#65533; process in which nothing was sacred and every belief had to be investigated to the core. I had to relive the events that had triggered troublesome emotional conditioning, I had to face the tendencies driving every single action and I had to dive into the center of each personal belief; the ones I loved and the ones I didn’t. The end result of this process was to have every ideological foundation I have ever stood on dismantled and forced me to learn to accept ‘not knowing.#65533; This is still an ongoing process, but after eight months of intensive looking and no yoga practices I realized that a balance needed to be achieved between the ecstatic compassion generated through yoga practices and the raw pain generated by the process of looking at my naked self.
Now I also am finding a new job and getting myself to face my body and the reality of the dark side of myself, to set the stagnant water flow, to use your metaphor.
As about the previous period, with the help of beloved Shanti, I see that it's needed and it's not wasted. So, I'll let it be what it was.
And yea, life is full of grace...
Love you, bro! |
Edited by - Pheel on Jul 26 2013 09:27:28 AM |
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SuryaDeva
USA
13 Posts |
Posted - Nov 21 2013 : 6:00:42 PM
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Hi Carson
I'm new to this forum and jonesboy posted a link to your story in one of my posts because yoga helped me recover from addiction as well.
Your story resonates with me so well - I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say it was a miracle how your tolerance suddenly went down like that. It's really the most unbelievable thing that ever happened to me when I realized that I could no longer drink alcohol or take drugs because they started to just make me sick! I used to abuse everything I could possibly get my hands onto at some point in my life - painkillers, coke, tranquilizers and wash it down with huge amounts of alcohol just to escape the misery of being alive...
I used to be a narcissist whose ego couldn't handle being fired and landed me in a psych ward after a failed suicide overdose where I had a profound experience similar to what you described... When I was reading your story I had chills running down my spine because of these similarities. And the fact that I was born in April 1981 adds some additional creepiness... Wow it's like this story was written for me - I can relate to so many things... I have to think about it a little...
Thank you for sharing this with so much honesty
I hope your ear gets better soon
Wish you all the best on your spiritual journey
SD
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Yogaman
USA
295 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2013 : 12:50:01 PM
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| Thanks for sharing, a very wild ride to yoga! Glad to see you're doing well after all that. Very impressive you've been able to make the necessary changes in your life to make that happen. |
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Will Power
Spain
415 Posts |
Posted - Nov 28 2013 : 1:48:36 PM
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Thank you for sharing Carson, very inspiring
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Edited by - Will Power on Nov 28 2013 1:57:51 PM |
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pkj
USA
158 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2015 : 4:21:01 PM
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Hi Carson
I know you are an amazing soul while reading your postings. Going through your journey it felt bliss and joy. Respect to you for sharing an amazing and inspiring story. I think when you share in a book it will be very inspiring to the people and that we can get to the critical mass of people who can bring the change to this world with yoga and meditation.
Truely Blessings
PKJ |
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How AYP Changed My Life
