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ClanName
United Kingdom
2 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 02 2024 : 5:16:50 PM
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I am new to the practices but I've been consistently doing pranayama and meditation twice daily for 2 months. I also do mula bhanda, sambhavi and siddhasana. I've begun to feel ecstatic energy stirring at my root during pranayama and it gets stronger during meditation, often reaching as far as my solar plexus or heart. However, I've found that if I reach orgasm with my husband during sex, the energy disappears for a day or two after. This feels like going two steps forward, two steps back as we have sex two or three times a week. I have tried withholding orgasm through willpower but it tends to simply leave me feeling irritable because the energy is still sitting around my base with no release.
Q1. How do I move the energy upwards during sex? Should I try spinal breathing or inwardly chant the 'I am' mantra during sex as these make it move upwards when I'm sitting in siddhasana?
Q2. Another challenge is that my husband has no interest in spiritual advancement although he's happy to slow sex down if I want to avoid orgasm. Hence I'm walking this path alone but within a marriage. Is this realistic and possible to do? |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4428 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2024 : 10:01:30 PM
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Hi ClanName,
Welcome to the forums!
To answer your questions:
1. There is actually no need to move energy upwards during Tantric sexual practice. Simply remaining preorgasmic during sexual activity will cause large amounts of prana to flow through your body, purifying the energetic channels and chakras as it goes. So, the work is being done on the purification side of things. Then, when kundalini awakens, prana will tend to rise up through the body, moving through those already purified energy channels. This is the safest way to practice Tantric sex.
Having said that, it is possible to combine Tantric sexual practices with sitting practices such as Spinal Breathing, advanced pranayamas and with mudras, bandhas and siddhasana, although there is a potential pitfall to consider. This is that combining tantric sexual practices with sitting practices can lead to too much purification happening, with energetic overload resulting from that. The sitting practices are timed quite carefully, with twice-daily sittings. Spinal Breathing is timed to 10 minutes, possibly going up to 15 mins or 20 mins for advanced practitioners. Deep Meditation is timed at 20 mins, possibly going up to 25, or 30 mins for advanced practitioners. But tantric sexual practice is usually not timed, and can potentially last for hours for experienced practitioners. So, if people are combining the two, it would be easy, and very tempting, for people to go overtime, moving ahead too fast, too soon. That is not to say that it cannot be done by experienced practitioners who have a good degree of sensitivity to their inner purification process, and are careful about what they are doing.
If you are not sure about managing the combining of tantric sexual practices with other practices, then there is always the option to keep them separate, and play it safe. It still works, and is usually the more simple option. This would mean simply remaining pre-orgasmic during sex and then doing your practices on the mat at a separate time. Tantric sex can feel clunky in the beginning as we are getting used to it and it can feel as if there is a build-up of energy that needs to be released. But that is just a stage. Over time, we get used to remaining pre-orgasmic and that sense of needing release will diminish and eventually disappear. It is replaced by the desire to avoid orgasm because we come to know how much better it is. It is about switching a habit. Moving away from the habit of releasing energy during sex, to the habit of preserving energy during sex.
There is more on this subject in this lesson:
Lesson T33 - Spinal Breathing During Tantric Sex?
quote:
"If you have a partner you can work with in a measured way during sexual intercourse, you may be able to self-pace practices in lovemaking with smooth results. If so, then by all means go for it. But be mindful that lovemaking is a serendipity event, potentially an extra boost on the path of yoga, and it is wise to always regard daily sitting practices as the primary yoga.
If we can handle the huge extra energy generated by combining spinal breathing, chin pump, spinal bastrika or yoni mudra kumbhaka with preorgasmic sexual relations, it can be a big boost. On the other hand, it can end up fizzling for the reasons mentioned above. Experiment and see what happens. And then -- apply self-pacing.
Or, just enjoy long preorgasmic sex with your lover whenever it happens, and be assured that the ocean of ecstatic bliss you both have gained will still be available when you sit on your respective meditation cushions for twice daily practices." [Yogani]
2. Tantric sex is usually much easier if both partners are on board with it. However, it sounds as if your husband is quite supportive. If he can slow down enough to keep you both in front of orgasm, then really, he is playing his part. In fact, he would be practising Tantric sex without knowing it! If he struggles to remain in front of orgasm, because it is not something he is aiming to do, then there are of course many things he can do to stimulate you, that would not put him at risk of orgasm. So, you could encourage him to do more of those things. Most men enjoy pleasuring women and don't need much encouragement if you point them in the right direction.
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SeySorciere
Seychelles
1553 Posts |
Posted - Jul 03 2024 : 06:06:54 AM
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Dear Clanname,
I am guessing you are a young woman - my advice would be to enjoy your three times a week sex unrestrainedly and slowing down does generally prolong the enjoyment. Your path to enlightenment will not be affected by that.
From an old woman who can no longer enjoy sex 3x a week.
Sey 
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ClanName
United Kingdom
2 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2024 : 2:27:35 PM
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Thank you. You've both given me great advice and much to think about.
@SeySorciere I'm not that young actually, 45! Although my healthy lifestyle choices over the decades have kept me biologically younger than most my age :-) |
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Christi
United Kingdom
4428 Posts |
Posted - Jul 04 2024 : 5:36:44 PM
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Method for raising sexual energy?
