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Anandatandava2011
USA
1 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 19 2011 : 5:08:48 PM
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"I'm giving in to the Goddess, and seek to infuse my practice with Shaktism. It is not so much what forces my hand in this, but how my hands force me. In writing, there rapturous output embarrasses and hampers my communication, but when I give in to the most searing levels of ecstasy I find they have assumed the postures and actions used in playing instruments, particularly the fretting of strings like those in a sitar. (Saraswati, is that you?) Granted, this may be seizure activity, but that doesn't make it any less divinely real. The marvelous aspect is that the ecstasy, the electric rippling sensation of each finger stroke is felt not in my hands but in my crown, inside my brain, like little clown fish wriggling within the sizzling tentacles of a sea anemone, or divine strumming of the nectared rays shimmering from the sahasra moon.(shiva samhita) Gah! my body and mind are humming with ecstasy now and I mustn't waken my cellmate at 5am with a vibrating bunk-bed! Other mudras and hastas also play within and crisply"shape" this crown space, each in their own completely captivating way. In terms of falm meditation, I am still a complete failure, and it will be hard to break through the block. As soon as I apply sambhavi my spine stiffens, the bandhas pull into place, and kevala, kumbhaka appears. Breath and thought stop and dissolve, but I fortunately am easily sustained by an expanding air of electric anticipation, for I invoke the Goddess and know what is about to happen. (Thought once fickle, she has become a reliable lover.) My confidence begins to crackle with energy that jets out along my every nerve and sinew. A flashing vision of jewels swirling colors dances into my mind- the Goddess is imminent, and my soul flies like a moth to Her flame. I thrill to the feel of hot breath lofting my hair as she tests my neck with eager live-nips, coaxing and urging my ardor. (as if that were necessary!)And then the Tigress pounces, sharp fangs and talons sinking deep. I am pinned as helpless as a fawn, engulfed in ravenous thrusts of gripping pleasure that ripple and convulse up and down my being, from root to crown. The universe, and I with it, is filled with deep resonant vibration, and endlessly fructifying tapestries, lightning bolts, arabesques, and ribbons of ecstatic flame that pulse out and twist off into infinity with the tiniest flicker of body breath, or mind. The Goddess makes perfect love to me from the inside! It is not mine to say if human love making can compare, but trust that I do not feel cheated by my solitary path, for in those moments the last thing and of course everything is amplified by the deep frisson of awe that comes from the presence of the divine. In fact, these words are pale representations of the actual experience, and could never equal it in felicity or variety.
Now mind you, outside this state I still mostly deny the supernatural and think it fascinating the handstands, my mind performs to explain such intense pleasure coming from no visible source. But then it is I who intentionally devour the spiritual concepts, methods, and imagery that strengthen my link to the "other side". For once tantra opens the ferfumed gates of heaven to me, I am drawn irresistible into a peerless realm of love that is more real than real. It is a realm that makes its own demands on me, dictating my actions in life, for no matter what my "rational" mind may think, I can't risk the Goddess withholding Her favors from this devoted love-slave!
Thus it is that pure tantra allows for even idiosyncratic paths like mine. It diesn't tell ous what to believe, but helps us experience what to believe much more powerfully, whatever love-based ideals we bring to the party.
So let's party!
Be sure to follow Yogani's safety advice for my partial path contained no meditation or rest, resulting in years of broad emotional swings and physical symptoms. Wickedly sweet harmless revenge that totally disarms any anger in me. So is that really wrong? (laugh)
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Edited by - AYPforum on Feb 19 2011 5:15:06 PM |
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 21 2011 : 11:29:21 PM
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I have experienced some things that have some similarities, and I wonder if anyone else has. I am single, and hardly ever sleep with anyone because the experience is too intense for me to take it casually.
I don't practice any advanced techniques, only meditation and SBP.
Sometimes a physical, real woman appears sleeping beside me for only a few minutes at a time, and I feel I am completely in love with her, although i have no idea who she is or even her name. But I can physically touch her, and sometimes feel her breath as if she is passing by me.
I reason that I must be in another world because that kind of thing doesn't happen here on earth, and yet I seem to have continuous consciousness with waking reality.
Everything about her seems perfect, so I reason she must be built from my own imagination, or maybe she is real, and everything i call perfect is longing for her?
So is this "the goddess", and maybe each person has this energetic perfect mate or something?
A weird thing is that all my life i have had occasional mind-blowing spiritual experiences, and then I tend to forget them easily because they don't fit into normal reality. I had forgotten about the latest experience with this goddess until I read this account, even though it was only a couple weeks ago. I remember thinking at the time that it was life changing because she had never stayed so long, and been so physically real that I could command my hand to caress her and she didn't disappear. It's all so strange. |
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cosmic
USA
821 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2011 : 12:22:43 AM
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That's fascinating, Ether.
Have you ever tried to talk to her?
This makes me wonder if my girlfriend is real. She is everything I imagine a goddess to be.
Love
cosmic |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2011 : 02:12:33 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Everything about her seems perfect, so I reason she must be built from my own imagination, or maybe she is real, and everything i call perfect is longing for her?
So is this "the goddess", and maybe each person has this energetic perfect mate or something?
Maybe its the other way around and you are her imagination? Astralfish. 
Or maybe you are both someone else's imagination. 
In India almost every 3rd family has one person in it who is attached to a god/goddess... who sees them and talks to them.
This phenomenon (like Anandatandava and Etherfish have mentioned) is very common over here.
I myself had such experiences in early days when I began meditation.
But its all Maya's work and is ultimately destroyed once we begin to establish ourselves in Samadhi.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2011 : 07:43:42 AM
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Thanks guys.
Manigma, these people who are "attached" to a Goddess, have you ever heard them say she is real and can be touched? And is there a general sense that the god they are attached to is just a personal experience?
That's what it feels like so far. People in this country tend to think if you talk to a god you are special and it's not just for you, but I don't think that way.
Cosmic: No i haven't tried to talk to her. My mind is always not thinking when she shows up. I had developed a habit of not engaging my thinking mind when spiritual things happen, because when I used to do remote viewing and astral type stuff thinking would instantly make it end. That's why it surprised me that she didn't disappear when I caressed her. Initiating that action took a thought. I had felt she was real before but didn't know i could touch her.
A couple times it felt like she tried to communicate with me, but never words that I can remember. Just a breath or motion that seems meaningful at the time but can't be translated into words. So I thought she belonged to another world, like the astral, because she used to be blue, but when I used to astral project there was always a break in consciousness to return to reality. That's why it surprised me the other day that there was no break as I got up. |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2011 : 12:05:37 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Manigma, these people who are "attached" to a Goddess, have you ever heard them say she is real and can be touched? And is there a general sense that the god they are attached to is just a personal experience?
That's what it feels like so far. People in this country tend to think if you talk to a god you are special and it's not just for you, but I don't think that way.
They can touch and be touched with whom they are bonded. In most cases a touch based interaction always happens prior to visual. Once bonded, they permanetly appear like any other physical being to the ones with whom they are bonded.
I was once guided by a spirit. She grabbed my hand and showed me the way to help me out. (I will not disclose why I needed help though).
And I have had several pleasuring interactions with multiple spirits. (Not going into details here either).
I know many people in my city who are bonded with various gods, goddesses, angels, beasts etc. Its nothing special over here.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 22 2011 : 8:24:15 PM
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Well i'm not trying to make something special out of it, but in my culture nobody believes a physical being can appear in your house without coming through the door. So I can't talk to anyone about it, but it is unsettling because I don't believe in such things either. Here thy would call me insane for mentioning it.
How do those people where you live know what the beings are? To me she is just a woman, but I wouldn't have any trouble believing she is a goddess or angel or something else because she seems perfect. When I was young, a woman came to me in visions who was old and blue. Now I'm older and the one coming to me is young and normal colors. How do people possibly understand things like this?
I've always had visions I didn't understand and just learned to let it go.
But is this the same; physical beings appearing out of nowhere and I have to learn to let that go also? |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2011 : 02:57:48 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
How do those people where you live know what the beings are?
How do people possibly understand things like this?
The beings tell them what they are or you can just guess from their appearance. Some of them are master shapeshifters though.
Every being has a story and a history in our culture. 
quote:
I've always had visions I didn't understand and just learned to let it go.
But is this the same; physical beings appearing out of nowhere and I have to learn to let that go also?
The thing is if you believe that you are real, then whatever you see and touch is also real.
But the question is what makes you sure that you are real?
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2011 : 07:41:22 AM
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Thanks Manigma,
Interesting: I will have to see if there are any english translations of stories from your culture about them.
I have no idea if I am real or not. It's not something that I am concerned with, but I think i see where you are going with that; to not be concerned with whether anything is real or not.
Which brings me to another question: Why would people in your culture get involved with these things at all? Why not just ignore them and deny their existence like we do here?
I looked up hindu mythology in wiki and there is a picture of Vishnu where he is all blue. The western view of these things is that they are all made up stories by people with a lot of imagination. But now I am thinking differently because I have seen many visions where beings were all blue like that.
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Edited by - Etherfish on Feb 23 2011 08:05:59 AM |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2011 : 08:32:16 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Why would people in your culture get involved with these things at all? Why not just ignore them and deny their existence like we do here?
Maybe they like it.
I watched the movie 'Requiem for a Dream' yesterday (Thanks to Ananda for recommending this).
I am reminded me of these lines said by Sara Goldfarb (old lady) to her son (Harry). She is excited and hoping she gets selected to participate in a popular TV show.
Sara Goldfarb: I'm somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they'll all like me. I'll tell them about you, and your father...
It's a reason to get up in the morning. It's a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It's a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I'm alone. Your father's gone, you're gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I'm lonely. I'm old.
So everyone has his own personal reason. It all depends on the person and the being they are bonded with.
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2011 : 10:10:43 AM
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Hi Etherfish
quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
How do those people where you live know what the beings are?
This sentence took me to inquiry and then completely shut the mind off.... it's funny to me when that happens and what instigates it. I read this sentence, and inquired.... "how do I know what ANY being is?"
.......
I got nothing. 
Sorry, I realize this was an off topic post. 
Love!
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2011 : 5:37:30 PM
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no prob Carson I'm off topic a lot!
Manigma wrote:
"And I have had several pleasuring interactions with multiple spirits. (Not going into details here either).
I know many people in my city who are bonded with various gods, goddesses, angels, beasts etc."
Do people have sex with some of them, is that what you mean? My interaction is very pleasurable, but not sexual.
and people who have bonded with Gods; what is that like? Do they ask questions, or do the gods do them favors or something? This stuff is all very strange and unknown to me.
And yes, I can see why people would like it.
The woman who appears to me would be way out of my class in real life. I would like to have a girlfriend like that even if nobody else was able to see her. but that's just me. I love being single otherwise. This would be considered extremely weird by most people in my society! |
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faileforever
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Feb 23 2011 : 6:30:28 PM
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LOL @ Cosmic
Very interesting post... |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2011 : 02:23:25 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Do people have sex with some of them, is that what you mean? My interaction is very pleasurable, but not sexual.
and people who have bonded with Gods; what is that like? Do they ask questions, or do the gods do them favors or something?
Yes, stuff like that and a thousand things you can't even imagine. Having a big astral Cobra as a pet to protect themselves all the time from other beings. Fighting along Angels / Demons in the sky in their astral bodies wearing some cool astral armor and weapons. Saving Earth from an Underworld goblin attack.
Limitless entertainment.
But as I said earlier, what difference does it make to have a Physical or Astral friend? They are both unreal/dream... Maya.
Find the real. And then everything will dissolve.
Into you.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2011 : 07:48:11 AM
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Yes I know none of it is real, you can say the same for everyday life. But when things happen that upset my concept of reality, I like to find out something about it, just like finding a great new tool for work, even though the old ones are fine.
This reality may all dissolve someday, but I would rather learn to cope with it while i'm here than pretend it doesn't exist. I have no problem switching protocol between different worlds as necessary. It's like dealing with people on different levels. Thanks for your help! |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2011 : 1:59:08 PM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Yes I know none of it is real, you can say the same for everyday life. But when things happen that upset my concept of reality, I like to find out something about it, just like finding a great new tool for work, even though the old ones are fine.
This reality may all dissolve someday, but I would rather learn to cope with it while i'm here than pretend it doesn't exist. I have no problem switching protocol between different worlds as necessary. It's like dealing with people on different levels. Thanks for your help!
Your world, your tools.
You can create as many as you wish. As long as you want.
The real is never upset.
The real never pretends.
And it has no concept of reality.
It just is.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 24 2011 : 8:46:18 PM
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Agreed.
I'm not trying to create anything however, just deal with what is in front of me! |
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manigma
India
1065 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2011 : 03:25:11 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by Etherfish
Agreed.
I'm not trying to create anything however, just deal with what is in front of me!
Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
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Etherfish
USA
3615 Posts |
Posted - Feb 25 2011 : 07:34:48 AM
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"Ecstasy, Shakti-style"
