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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 17 2010 : 02:24:47 AM
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I've had an awakened kundalini for 7 years and i've been through the good the bad and the ugly.
I'm now facing a phase of K activity that has me a bit worried.
I've been in uncharted territory before, and of course, I came out the other side all right...
I'm experiencing a crisis right now as the tension in my head/face/neck and shoulders melts away.
This has been progressing for months now... however the crisis point has arrived, and I am feeling some really weird stuff. Crazy ville territory. Unlike anything i've experienced up to this point, and I have experienced some very wacky stuff.
I'm just looking for some reassurance that everythings going to be alright... I mean, the worst that can happen is I die, right?? hehehehe
But seriously, I would love some reassurance here from fellow travelors of this path.... I'm having a tough time at the moment and I can feel fear building up from the deep.
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2010 : 04:48:47 AM
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hello and welcome to the forums , it's good to have you here.
with kundalini if we keep our sanity all together and hold on in there, in the end it will all turn out just fine...
do you do any systematic practice? and could you please share it with us so that we may be of more help.
in case you haven't i think that you should take a look at this lesson, the stuff in there really helps: http://www.aypsite.org/69.html
namaste |
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brunoloff
Netherlands
47 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2010 : 05:14:42 AM
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Hello, and welcome.
As Ananda recommended, self pacing might be in order.
What I have often noticed with kundalini symptoms, is that it is helpful to learn not to be afraid of them at all. In order to deal with these less pleasant aspects of kundalini, I do a mindfulness practice: there is the kundalini symptom, there is the fear in my belly (or wherever); Now I can clearly see that they are two different things; Now I can clearly see that while the symptom is uncomfortable and weird, the fear itself is what is really bothering me; Now I can see that I am causing the fear as a reaction to the symptom; Now I calm down the fear until its gone, thought the symptom remains. For me this is an ongoing practice, but I've went from having full-blown panic attacks to being mostly OK with kundalini stuff. The more I practice, I find, the weirder and more powerful stuff I can be cool about.
Of course, as with any skill, there are steps backwards and steps forwards, but in general by dealing with the fear in the kundalini process, I seem to be getting much less anxious about things in general. I think that this is very important, because kundalini + fear = kundalini fear. And kundalini fear is a devastating force. When you add fear to the kundalini cocktail, this makes the kundalini experience much worst.
I've recently made a resolution that goes something along the following lines: "No matter what happens, how weird or intense it gets, I will, to the best of my ability, never, ever add fear to the mix. I will never be afraid again."
In any case, I hope you get well soon :-) |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2010 : 05:55:58 AM
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I'll try to clarify, Ananda ... I was in a hectic state when i wrote the original post ;)
When I say that i feel like I'm in uncharted territory in this crisis, I mean that I am experiencing phenomena unlike anything I've encountered before.
I have been experiencing ultra-severe detox symptoms regularly for a couple of months. Now, in addition to this detoxing (i mean, how much can there be to detox in my head after 7 years of this?),
I feel a pain/discomfort running down the right side of my body from my right ear all the way down via my sternoclemostoid, through the pectoralis minor, and then along the sternum to the bottom of my right ribs, and then down along the right side of the abdominal muscles to the groin and then down along the adductor muscles of the inner leg.
In meditation the pain along this axis is acute. Even in full on samadhi there is awareness of this pain.
and there are, of course, strange psychic phenomena accompanying this "injury"
its just so strange (and without a doubt K-related)... has anyone experienced anything like this?? The total bizarreness of this is just that this feels like some kind of severe physical injury, and it might very well have that component. The body tissues along this axis are all extremely irritated, and they are behaving in an odd fashion, as if they have a "mind of their own"
Recently, my practice has consisted of a lot of asanas in vinyasa with meditation about three times a week, but very little physical activity outside of the asanas.
Overall, I have learned to function as a person even as i go through severe K crises. And I do not feel any different about that now. However, I do feel like this is just plain weird! ;)
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2010 : 09:10:29 AM
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dear tonightsthenight, the solution for your problems as well as all kundalini related symptoms is very simple and it's in the lesson i shared if you take on the advices given in the lesson your trip will be much easier and you'll find yourself much better in no time and if not well that's your choice.
spinal breating between root and third eye in case you are not practicing it will help you a lot especially in easing that severe energy imbalance between left and right sides of the body and if you are doing any crown activity then it's pretty obvious that you should step away from that.
cut down practice time, go out serve and take long walks and establish a connection through your feet with mother earth and send all the energy down to the earth while walking...
a lot of the self pacing stuff exists in that lesson and it would be wise for you to read the lesson more than once and do what you have to in order to remain calm and stable and joyful along your spiritual path.
on the other hand if the physical symptoms are way off the charts then visiting a doctor should be put into consideration.
namaste |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2010 : 12:35:00 AM
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Thanks for the perspective guys...
I guess in the end, you are correct, its all about taking things one step at a time, pacing, and trusting in the process.
It is very disconcerting when I feel symptoms like this because they do not fit the classical K symptoms, and neither do they fit in with my personal experience of K.
Just to clarify, I am not anxious about this and I don't believe that has been an issue for me recently.
More than anything, I feel like I am dealing with very powerful forces here, and psychic/emotional issues that are so deep that they may be archetypal and not necessarily things I have previously experienced.
Its funny, I guess in the end its the same as it ever was. Nobody can help you get through this stuff but yourself...
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Holy
796 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2010 : 12:44:46 PM
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| When it comes to your last sentence, it is true, because of your unique expression in time-space-illsuion. What you can "do" about this is to realize beforehand who you are. The problem is, this is not a mental stuff. So any words here won't really help. But again and again diving into silence will make it obvious. And then whatever comes, even infinite hell is welcome. |
Edited by - Holy on Apr 18 2010 1:00:30 PM |
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Adi
India
34 Posts |
Posted - Apr 21 2010 : 09:20:24 AM
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for my petty opinion i can just say if its divine it will not hurt you, i especially like when you laugh at the worst thing that could happen. at least something has given you the courage to face the most feared,and thus liberation from it.
lots of peace for you |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Apr 22 2010 : 12:23:52 AM
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Thanks brother,
its nice to hear some support since i imagine none of us get that in our normal, daily lives.
Yeah, when the K throws a change-up like this, there is really nothing to do about it besides keeping a good attitude.
The symptoms I've been having lately are very disturbing to the psyche. But more than that, they are disrupting my practice and my sleep! I can't do any practice most days, but I've noticed that a beer or two in the evening will keep the me from have a "seizure" all night long, but besides that there's not much Ive been able to do to stay "normal" these past two months.
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markern
Norway
171 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2010 : 11:50:38 AM
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| Kundalini suport network, spirtual emergency group or network (can`t remember) and the site biology of kundalini might help |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2010 : 9:05:04 PM
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Thanks Marken,
yes these sites can be comforting in some ways, and when I was first trying to integrate this change into my life and discover exactly what was going on they were a godsend. Thankfully, there are many people that have been working these past few years to help people (people like Yogani).
Unfortunately, I've found that most sites on the internet dealing with K aren't all that helpful these past few years.
I've always held out some hope that there are people out there who truly know whats going on with K. That is, that there are people out there with truly extraordinary levels of K that have integrated it into there lives fully and can help others do the same. I think that hope is diminishing. |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2010 : 05:21:57 AM
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brother tonightsthenight, we have k present very strongly over here most of us but the thing is that instead of having to suffer it's presence without proper handling like what's happening with you we are riding it on the wings of ecstasy and inner silence.
you can be as stubborn as you like, but the solutions for your problems are clear and in the lesson i shared with you and it's your choice to act on them or not.
i went through hell because of kundalini at a certain point, like literally burning in all my body and even my aura and had a lot of physical changes and pains... but when i acted on the self pacing lessons accordingly i've found stability and better yet inner silence and a lot of luminous ecstasy and more joy in life... the ups and downs are still here of course but am still progressing and they are becoming less...
the easy way or the rough one that's your choice! you can't say that we the people here at AYP don't know what's happening with K without putting our advises into action.
you remind me of a quote by byron katie "i think" which brother Carson shared with us once: "would you rather be right, or enlightened?"
wishing you all the best on your path.
namaste |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2010 : 01:05:53 AM
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Hi Ananda,
Obviously we are not on the same wavelength... fundamental miscommunication here.
You keep recommending the lessons on the web site as if they are a panacea to my current crisis, and I don't know how to make it clear to you that i have a very advanced, peronalised practice, and my issue is not that it isn't working, rather that i am experiencing new, and increasingly bizarre symptoms, and i was just looking for some perspective on these things.
Thanks again for your response. |
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CarsonZi
Canada
3189 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2010 : 01:20:07 AM
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Hi tonightsthenight 
quote:
i was just looking for some perspective on these things.
If your kundalini symptoms are becoming uncomfortable, then perhaps it is time to adjust whatever your practice routine includes that is "kundalini aggravating/stimulating." Once the symptoms have subsided to a tolerable level again, then you could slowly start adding these practices back into your routine, one at a time, always trying to maintain a tolerable level of symptoms. Just my perspective
Love!
P.S> The Byron Katie quote is "Would you rather be right or would you rather be free"
P.P.S> A few others recommended this site, and I will too: http://biologyofkundalini.com/ LOTS of great info there.
P.P.P.S> Remember to consider all the angles here....diet (actually a pretty big deal when it comes to aggravating and pacifying kundalini symptoms), spiritual practice (pranayam, asana, meditation, prayer, etc), sexual habits, alcohol and/or drug/hallucinogen intake, and the whole gamut of activities (and lack there of  ) that can cause "energetic disruptions"  |
Edited by - CarsonZi on Apr 25 2010 01:32:14 AM |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2010 : 08:47:51 AM
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Thanks Carson....
Good points all.
Unfortunately, this stuff is all old hat for me, and the first places i look tend to be diet, drugs/medicines, spiritual practices, physical exercise, attitude, et cetera. Its great advice! Its just that its the same advice i'd give to myself ;)
Anyways, thanks again! |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2010 : 10:54:10 AM
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quote]Originally posted by tonightsthenight
Hi Ananda,
Obviously we are not on the same wavelength... fundamental miscommunication here.
You keep recommending the lessons on the web site as if they are a panacea to my current crisis, and I don't know how to make it clear to you that i have a very advanced, peronalised practice, and my issue is not that it isn't working, rather that i am experiencing new, and increasingly bizarre symptoms, and i was just looking for some perspective on these things.
Thanks again for your response.
brother tonightsthenight, nope we're not on different wave lengths and the reason why i always mention that lesson is because it has it all and the solutions there worked for many of us (here and outside the forums) and in case applied well they will definitely work for you.
concerning the symptoms they will pass in time no matter what they are and a lot of us here have been into very advanced practices before coming here.
all i can suggest is you practice spinal breathing between root and ajna daily instead of just trying it and self pace on the time of your practices cut back a little... and try eating a heavy diet with lots and lots of walking in nature and while meditating try to add on the solar centering technique that will make things lighter for you.
wishing you a safe crossing, tc bro
quote:
Originally posted by CarsonZi
P.S> The Byron Katie quote is "Would you rather be right or would you rather be free"
[/quote]
Thanks for the clarification Carson,
i first wanted to tell the buddha story about suffering in which someone is shot with an arrow and instead of immediately removing it he first wants to know who shot him, what's his name his village his house his family his job..... but as you can see i've found that sentence much shorter; will try keeping it in mind next time.
namaste brother(F) |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2010 : 10:40:55 PM
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Thanks again for your concern Ananda...
Fortunately, a lot of these symptoms are already subsiding, although i can't seem to shake these darn ringing years ;)
Also, the simple act of engaging in these discussions does help.
I haven't done asanas in a week, and even though my body would *love* a two hour vinyasa session, i'm gonna have to settle for a long walk or a short run! |
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Ananda
3115 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2010 : 02:30:23 AM
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the ringing will go into the backgrounds as well don't worry... i am having it right now thanks for the reminder
tc bro |
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - Apr 26 2010 : 6:47:41 PM
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Hi tonightisthenight,
I sent you a post in another thread but somewhow it dissapeared.
Anyways...
I would lay offf the vigorous vinyasa asana sessions. I speak from experience.These could aggravate your K energies.
Feel free to drop an email if you need more detailed advice.
What you have described in the other thread- 'A Q. to Yogani and Others.' sounds pretty similar to what i experienced. I woke up sushumna but K retreated back to root and my ida was left in a imbalnced state. Like you i had s light imbalance there before hand which wa exaggereated more than before. My path has been a bit rocky to say the least.Yes the sBp provided some stability but i've had to look at virtually everything under the sun and at as many and sytems as i could find. Things are alot better now.
Just so you know your experience is not a one-off.You are not alone. There are others out there like myself. Hope you get this.I'm alot better now and nicely recovering and i'm talking nov25,06, a few years ago now..It's taken me that long to sort this out better so to speak , and stabilise , ..But I think my case was pretty extreme -this is because i knew nothing of self-pacing. My knowdlge and understanding of K. was next to nothing.(plus i had a hard drugs background immeditaely before discovering yoga which probably did'nt help) In fact it was only when i read Yogani's Lessson about a year ago now that it all made sense.The description as a neurobiolgical force clicked.
I could go into in detail in more detail but will be brief as io have atendency to type really fast here.
Anyway drop an email if you need more feedback.
Lay off the vinyasa- it could be aggravating your K.
In my case i was using uddiyana, on automatic, deep ujjayi and one-pointedness of mind and complete surrender during vinyasa over the period of about a month but it all occurred over a few days.
I'm sure everyone here has heard this all before and frankly bored of but the value of self-pacing hits home if your path or journey in yoga has gone in this kind of lopsided direction.
What you describe sounds uncannily similar to mine. I ma sure there will be more to come arrving here in the future looking for some relief and pretty desperate.
I speak from experience so just drop my an email if you need further assitance and help.
Thanks |
Edited by - Akasha on Apr 26 2010 7:21:49 PM |
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tonightsthenight
846 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2010 : 03:42:43 AM
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Thanks for the reply Akasha,
I'm happy to hear that you've evened things out.
With my situation, i don't think it was so much that a slight imbalance gradually increased to a greater imbalance. More so that I had been carrying this imbalance very, very deeply within my body... so deeply in fact, that i couldn't feel it until i kind of "untied the knot" there. In my experience, sometimes things are held so deeply in the body that they only come out after a long time and a lot of work.
Fortunately, i've been laying off the asanas now for a week, and that's really helped to keep the symptoms in check. But my body craves exercise and the asanas also help to smooth out the prana flow, so i am looking forward to starting them again as soon as i can!
Ananda, sorry that i revved up that ringing man! |
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Akasha
421 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2010 : 09:16:10 AM
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Hi tonightsthenight,
It did'nt gradually increase. Like you, it happeened instantly over one session, that all the knots were untied,as you put it, that had been held there for a very long time.
You sound just like me.It was indeed premature because it happened very suddenly.If it had happened over a long time then of course i could have noticed. But like i say it happened over a two hour period doing some pretty intensive asana work over several months and particularly the last month when the automatic bhandhas kicked in.
Hope things work out for you.I untied the knots ,awakened sushumna nadi then K returned back to base so to speak 4 days later when i returned to asana practice.But my pingala was left ovestimulated and my ida became more blocked.The asana movements could distrub the energies because the body is simply just craving moving and is not really in control of the dynamics.
I am glad things may be clearing for you. Just be aware that sometimes these kinds of paths force us too look closer at our yoga practice and ourself and contain very powerful lessons if we can come out the other side, as i have fortunately been able to do so. I follow another system right now but that's another story.
Best of Luck! |
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I would like some perspective please
